Chapter 1
My friends, the ones I had at that point warned me that I was marrying my dad and I had no issue with that, none at all. Michael was older than me, by thirty years, but when I was twenty-three he seemed awfully exotic with his greater knowledge and experience of, well, everything. He represented all the positives of a good dad in my mind; he was caring, protective, and considerate of my needs and wants, and he offered me security and safety, although like an overindulgent father he did spoil me, showering me with gifts and material possessions. I smiled with a still disbelieving shake of my head as I remembered how he had once bought me a new car because my old car, which was less than a year old was dirty. But here I was almost six years later married to my dad, or at least a dad, a man who played golf, often, read, a lot and not even works of fiction, big books on real life, history, geography, architecture, things I had no interest in. That was fine though. He had no issues with my interests, not that I had many, so I reciprocated.
My issue was sex, or lack thereof. If memory served me right, which it did, it had been six months since he’d touched me intimately and another six months since we’d had sex, real sex and at twenty-eight I wanted sex. Needed it. Craved it. After a few health scares after hitting fifty-five Michael had lost confidence and stamina so he’d distanced himself from me physically and as much as I wanted my needs fulfilling I didn’t feel able to complain. Especially not as I knew how guilty my husband felt about his inability to satisfy my most basic needs.
He had been my boss, not my immediate boss, but my ultimate boss. He had owned the whole company I’d worked for, Stanton Industries, not that I understood what the business was, not really. I worked as a secretary for a middle manager in accounts on the seventh floor and Michael ran the whole shebang from his floor, the top floor, the twentieth where he occupied a corner office that looked out across the whole city. I didn’t really know that when I was plain old Eloise Ross, although I was still Eloise Ross at work, having resisted the temptation to become Mrs Stanton in all areas of my life. Today I was to return there as P.A. to the new CEO having left my post there after marrying five years ago. I had been desperate to gain promotions and recognition in my own right, not for being married to the boss, which I’d done. Michael was no longer the boss, not since the downturn in his health when he’d made the decision to sell the company to a bigger conglomerate, Miller Industries.
“Darling, I’ve made you some tea. We don’t want you to be late on your first day, do we?”
I smiled at my husband’s kindness as I gave myself a final once over, dressed professionally in a black pencil skirt and a white silk blouse. I had opted for tights so I wouldn’t be worrying all day that I was flashing stocking tops at my new boss, Denton Miller Snr who I had yet to meet in person. Along with commendations from my husband and a few webcam and Skype conversations I had decided that he was a boss I would enjoy working for.
Denton was of a similar age to Michael, but unlike my husband he had been married for thirty odd years to his teenage sweetheart and was living the American dream with his main home in California but numerous other residences around the world, seemingly in the cities that housed the offices of his vast business empire. Michael, by contrast had been married three times before me and I was the only wife not to have given him a child. Although sex would be required for a baby meaning that I was only a stepmother to four; two girls from wife number one, both older than me by a year and two years. His sons were aged twenty and fourteen with wives two and three respectively. God, I was like his middle child I realised with a smile, a smile that evaporated as I remembered I was also a step-nanny to three children under five and then he called me again.
“El, come on, Denton is a stickler for punctuality,” he reminded me for the hundredth time causing me to bristle slightly.
“Yes, I know. I’m coming!” I screeched slipping black heeled shoes onto my feet but Michael laughed, annoying me further.
“If I was a jealous man those claims might offend me Mrs Stanton,” he added as I appeared before him in the kitchen where my tea was waiting for me.
“What?” I asked impatiently, confused by his words.
“You shouted, I’m coming.”
Unsure how to react and thinking that if I did I might say something to open the can of worms that represented our lack of a sex life, I simply accepted the cup of tea and killed another ten minutes or so before dropping a kiss to Michael’s head as I left the house.
Upon entering my former place of employment that was now my current place of employment I noted that very little appeared to have changed, except for the new signage.
“Hey there stranger,” called the receptionist as I arrived on my new floor, my husband’s old floor.
I spun to find a former colleague and friend, Maya, looking back at me with a grin spread across her face.
“What the bloody hell are you doing here?” I asked as I hugged the other woman, glad to find a friendly face. “Michael never mentioned you were back here.”
“First day, babe. You remember I went to Provence with Aaron?”
I nodded, remembering her leaving a couple of years before with her boyfriend who had also worked for Michael but after his divorce was finalised decided to travel.
“Yeah, well that was great for a while, right up to the point where I found Aaron was indulging in some serious online shenanigans.”
“No way!”
“Way babe. So, I packed up, after paying the astronomical internet bill. My oldest sister still works here, in H.R. so she offered to put my C.V. forward and here I am, receptionist for the exec floor and I believe you are Mr Miller’s P.A.?”
“Yes, first day too.”
“So, you and Mr Stanton…”
I could see that what Maya really wanted to ask was, ‘are you still married to the old man?’
“Michael is at home.”
“Ah,” she replied dropping her glance to my narrow gold wedding ring. “I heard he’d been unwell.”
“Yes,” I confirmed. “He had some heart trouble that required surgery, but he’s on the mend,” I added with a smile that not even I was convinced by. “Look, I should go, apparently my new boss doesn’t like lateness.”
“Okay, later, we’ll catch up.”
At ten o’clock I wondered if Mr Miller was one of those, ‘do as I say, not as I do’ bosses because he was a no show and I was over an hour and a half into my day. I considered calling Michael to ask him if I should be concerned, but decided against it. Another hour and then I would attempt to contact Denton Miller.
Another hour came and went, however as I was engrossed in a stationery delivery I was unaware of anything that wasn’t made of paper until it was almost one o’clock when Maya appeared in my doorway.
“Do you want to grab lunch?” she asked as I stood up and faced her, still flushed from my exertion unpacking new paperwork.
“You’d have thought that such a forward thinking company would rely on electronic copies of this shit,” I observed, opening yet another box of compliment slips.
“Lunch?” Maya repeated causing me to check out the clock on the wall behind my desk.
“No way, is that the time already? Where the hell is the boss? I should call him, he could be ill or have had an accident.” I panicked, grabbed the phone on my desk and hit the speed dial that had already been pre-programmed to my boss’ mobile first, or cell as my directory had it listed as. Well, he was American I supposed as I heard the tone that seemed to ring forever before connecting to what I had anticipated being an answer phone.
“You’ve reached Denton Miller’s den of debauchery and iniquity. Unfortunately Mr Miller is unable to come to the phone right now as he is busy between my thighs, can I take a message?” the voice asked, the voice of a woman I was fairly certain wouldn’t belong to Mrs Miller, so who was she, with her soft and subtle American accent that sang with amusement?
“I erm, sorry, I’m, my name is P.A., well not, I, erm,” I stammered while Maya watched on with a horrified expression that was in stark contrast to her grin. With a deep breath and a wipe of my free sweaty palm down my thigh I composed myself and tried again. “This is Eloise, Eloise Ross, Mr Miller’s P.A. He was expected in his office this morning…” I allowed my voice to trail off so that my words might register when I heard another voice on the end of the line, a man’s voice.
“Tia, what are you doing? How many times have I told you, do not answer my phone? That’s not your place.”
I glared down at the receiver in my hand wondering how my husband had got his views on my new boss so wrong. Arrogant prick I thought, except when I heard Tia giggle down the line and Maya stifle a laugh with a gulp, I realised that I had said it, out loud.
“It’s your office, your P.A.,” Tia explained. “Checking up on the boss.”
This woman was also a pain in the arse, her and my new boss, maybe they were meant for each other.
“No, no,” I stammered before I heard Mr Miller’s reply.
“I don’t need checking up on. I’m going in now, as per the email I sent to my P.A. Could this day get any worse?” he asked as I flushed crimson despite him being unable to see me.
“Did you get that, honey?” Tia asked still laughing.
“Yeah, got it, thank you, sorry, sorry to have interrupted your erm, sorry,” I cried and hung up. “Oh bollocks, his day has nothing on mine!” I told Maya slumping into my chair.
“And you kind of hung up on him at the end there.” She smiled with an accompanying cringe.
“Oh God! Why am I even doing this? He was so sweet on webcam,” I said, thinking aloud.
“With Mr Stanton?”
I buried my face in my hands. “Shit, yeah. He was with a woman, maybe not his wife and like with her with her I think.” My whispered realisation made Maya laugh loudly.
“So, to sum up, you have inarticulately interrupted a secret shag, somehow made it sound like he was a naughty boy by being late and then hung up on him?”
My horrified expression must have conveyed how awful I felt because Maya appeared before me on her haunches.
“It wasn’t that bad babe. He’ll be fine, I’m sure. Come on, lunch.” Getting to her feet she pulled me to mine. “Come on, no arguments, we’ll go to the pub over the road, no alcohol, just food.”
Nodding, I grabbed my things and then quickly checked my emails, only to find an earlier email from my boss.
Morning Ms Ross,
I was hoping to be in before you this morning, but I had to change plans.
Will be very late afternoon so may not get to meet you until tomorrow as I have a busy day planned.
Regards,
Denton Miller
CEO Miller Industries (Europe)
“Oh,” I whispered almost undetected as a second email hit my inbox.
Ms Ross,
Thank you for the nurse maid duties, however unnecessary they were. I am able to tell the time and arrive at the office without assistance!
After further changes to my first day I may not make it into the office at all today.
I shall expect to see you in the morning no later than 8 a.m.
Oh, and Ms Ross, don’t ever fucking hang up on me!
Denton Miller
CEO Miller Industries (Europe)
“He’s really got to be kidding me, hasn’t he?” I asked pulling Maya to see my second email, but she literally just squealed with some kind of delight.
“I think I am going to enjoy working here, a boss that emails with swearing and a bollocking! Come on, lunch, I only have cover on reception for one hour, meaning we now have exactly forty seven minutes to be back here.”
Every mouthful of my linguini that tasted like shoe laces rather than pasta got stuck where I imagined my gullet might be, even with the assistance of two glasses of a non-alcoholic beverage.
“Do you think he’ll sack me?” I asked Maya who had no problems digesting her food that was a steak and ale pie with seasonal vegetables and seriously chunky chips.
“No, I wouldn’t have thought the interruption of a mid coital rendezvous with his mistress would be classed as a sackable offence.”
“Thanks,” I replied, wondering what else I could say to that and decided there was no more to say.
I returned to my office, which was actually a working space within Mr Miller’s office space. I suppose it could be seen that I occupied his vestibule or an atrium, the space between his inner sanctum and the world beyond, although as this space happened to be at the furthest point of the building everywhere else was the world beyond. I liked that a small amount of reworking had been done up here so I didn’t mistake the office as Michael’s, it was Mr Miller’s and I couldn’t, wouldn’t forget my place. As well as my work space, this area also housed his reception area, the place where I’d be responsible for entertaining any visitors who were waiting for my boss. Maybe if he was finishing off Tia, or whoever.
With I sigh I observed the boxes of stationery that still littered my floor and decided to tackle them, get to the bottom of it all, just not yet. After a cup of coffee, if I could find where the coffee machine was housed. Yes, that was a plan. Coffee, and just in case my wayward boss turned up I’d take my photocopying down the hall with me and make myself look busy.
It was another forty-five minutes before I found myself back at my desk, with coffee and the photocopied proposals that Mr Miller would need later in the week. The mess on my floor was worse than I had remembered. Could this day get any worse I wondered once more as another email hit my inbox?
Ms Ross,
You appear to have littered the floor with semi-unpacked boxes of stationery, please resolve this issue. Also, why do we have such a ridiculous amount of compliment slips and headed paper? We live in an age of electronic communication. I think you may have overstocked somewhat. Again, resolve before tomorrow morning.
I am out for the day. In the event of an emergency, I repeat, EMERGENCY you may call me!
I take my tea with just a dash of milk, no sugar, and coffee no milk, one sugar. I drink tea until 10 a.m. and coffee thereafter, unless I instruct you otherwise.
Regards,
Denton Miller
CEO Miller Industries (Europe)
“Fucking numb nuts,” I told him even though I was alone. The cheek of this man. “I have semi-unpacked the stationery that was ordered by someone else, not me, and I know we live in an age of electronic communications, so I have not overstocked anything and yet I am expected to sort it. I will call you when hell freezes over after my initial attempt at contact and on top of that I am now your tea girl!”
The sound of my phone’s ring brought me back to the here and now, Michael.
“Hi, you okay?” I answered.
“Yes, just checking in. How’s your day going?” he asked and as much as I wanted to vent I knew he wouldn’t get it. He’d turn everything on its head and blame me. Not me personally, but my position, so I replied accordingly.
“The new boss had a change of plan. He appears to have popped in, a visit I missed and now he’s not in until tomorrow, but things are fine.”
“You don’t sound sure? Maybe you should think about scaling back, love.”
Oh my God! I actually wanted to scream at him because he was the retired one, not me, I wasn’t even half way there. Why the hell would I want to scale back, but as usual he continued to speak.
“There’s a group, at the hospital, a support group for families. You could help them out, or Johnny at the golf club was saying they’re looking to take on a part timer to help with memberships…”
I cut him off, abruptly. “Michael, I don’t want to scale back, nor work at the golf club, nor listen to people discuss how hard it is to, well, whatever. Denton Miller may prove to be more of a challenge than I had first imagined, but it’s fine. What do you fancy doing this evening?” I asked hoping he’d say something exciting, different to the norm, maybe even dinner, alcohol, a bath and an early night.
“I’m easy, whatever you want darling, although there is a documentary on the demise of the bee on at half-past eight so I’d like to be done by then.”
“And an early night?” I suggested, hating myself a little for pleading for his time, attention and his penis. This day really was turning to shit.
“El, I don’t know, we’ll see,” he said, the dismissal obvious in his tone.
“I might be going out straight from work,” I lied. “Maya is back here, she’s the exec’s receptionist now, so I thought we might catch up, in the pub, or a bar or something.”
I was slightly disgusted with myself for lying so blatantly to my husband. Something I’d never done, about plans that didn’t exist, but the mere thought of sitting and listening to a blow by blow account of why bees were disappearing made me want to cry. Almost as much as the idea of drinking cocoa before finding myself sitting up in bed reading stories of passion and romance while my husband slept next to me, snoring, having managed to fall asleep in the time it took me to wash my face and brush my teeth.
“Oh, okay, well let me know when you’ve decided what you’re doing, and remember me to Maya.”
“Okay,” I whispered before guiltily but honestly adding, “I love you, Michael.”
“I know darling, and I love you too.”
Throwing my phone into my bag I felt shittier than I might have ever felt, but more than that I felt discontent, sad and restless, and possibly a little reckless.
