Chapter 1
PART 1
Time comes and goes by, and so do people; and we can do nothing about that. What’s important is to use that time in the best possible way, and to never leave anything in the past, however insignificant it seems. The burden of the past just keeps piling up and eventually swallows you. That’s why it’s important to finish everything. That’s why you should never leave anything in the past.
It was a cold, windy day in the middle of January. Few feet of snow covered the ground entirely. The white blanket gave away a very peaceful feeling. It was just a usual winter day, everyone was sitting near their fireplace, going outside from time to time only to get more firewood. I was just wandering around, without any idea where I’ll end up. I left the town when I was a kid, so it’s not like I actually knew where I was going. One thing I remember was my old school, a big yard where I used to spend my days playing tag with friends. As I grew up tag turned into sneaking in to drink and smoke with those same friends. And then I had to leave.“The city has changed quite a bit.” I said to myself.I didn’t have any problems talking to myself out loud because I knew no one was around. As I continued walking down the winding streets I noticed a park where I spent most of my time after school. Right across the street was a weird building where my first love lived.
“I wonder if they still live there.” I said. I continued walking down the street, admiring how the city has changed, reliving my childhood. I saw myself running from my friends all around the town. And as my memories continued to unreveal I noticed someone walking towards me.
“Pretty unusual” I thought “why would anyone be on the streets in this weather.”
As the man got closer and closer I recognized him. He was tall, scarf covering half of his face, but his walk seemed really familiar. “I’m sure that’s Leo, I’m hundred percent sure” I thought.
“Andrew!” said the man, “Where were you all this time, old friend? You just disappeared, how many years has it been?”
“Leo!” I laughed “You didn’t change a single bit. I had to leave, and I’ll have to leave again, you know how this city is.” I sighed.
“You’re just making excuses. Why don’t we go get a drink, c’mon like good ol’ times” said Leo playfully.
“We’ll have time for that later. I just need to walk for a bit. It’s been years y’know” I explained.
“Ah come one. You’ll have time later. Let’s just catch up for a bit.” Said Leo trying to convince me.
“Okay, okay. Let’s go to that Irish place. Is it still open?” I asked
“You didn’t change at all my friend. Of course it works, it changed over the years though.” Said Leo.
We walked for around ten minutes, talking about different stuff. Nothing remarkable happened until we got to the cafe. There was screaming and shouting; it seemed like a big fight broke out.
“Should we go in?” I asked “it seems like it’s not a good time. We could just go somewhere else.”
Leo just walked me in. He didn’t care, or he knew exactly what was going on.
As we walked in the smoke from cigars started choking me and I started coughing. The air was so thick and heavy I could barely breathe. I fought to stay on my feet while Leo dragged me to the back of the cafe. We sat at our old table where we spent so many hours playing cards and talking crap.
“You really didn’t joke when you said this place changed. I remember it being small with a big couch in the middle and small big tables. Look at it now.. It’s all spread out, small tables, full of random people, even the bar has changed. Last time I was here it was all made of wood, and now this marble thing.” I looked suspiciously all over the place trying to see all the changes with a tear in my eye.
“Okay Andrew, slow down now.” Leo laughed “it’s not that bad, it needed some modernization”
“You know” He continued “you never told me why you left in the first place.” Leo was curious about my story for a long time. I even remember him writing to me a few times, but I never bothered to answer. “It’s a long story. I doubt you want to hear it. Really, it isn’t anything special.” I tried to convince him that he doesn’t want to hear it.
“It was because of John and the guys isn’t it? You couldn’t stand them? Man I know you better than anyone.” Leo said convincingly.
I took a shot and just looked at him for a second. I took a good look. He was a man in his late 20s, with a beard that covered most of his face, and unusually big nose. His dark green eyes matched his trench coat. After a moment of looking at him I shook my head.
“Y’know, maybe that’s the reason. But I have no idea. I had no choice. I had to leave okay. Why do you have to be all in my business” I said, quite irritated.
“But yes you know me better than anyone. You can say I left because I was afraid, or sick of being pushed, or whatever. The thing is that I don’t know. Can you please stop bothering me now” I continued.
I couldn’t control myself. At that moment all the arguing had stopped. The dead silence filled the room.“I’m sorry. It’s a touchy subject. I didn’t mean it.” I said to Leo, trying to justify my overreaction.
But Leo didn’t buy it. He just looked at me; his eyes full of disappointment.
“You know, this is why everyone hated you. I get it, you’re an artist, you’re different but man.” Leo paused “you really are the piece of shit. John was right all along” he concluded.
Leo stood up and left the cafe. As he was leaving he reminded me of myself some years ago. Maybe he’s right, maybe I am. But I can’t help it” I said to myself.
I left the cafe after a few minutes. I didn’t have the courage to lift my head up. His words were repeating in my head, and I was remembering every time I was an asshole to anyone. Suddenly I saw a flash. It was the day before I left. I was leaving my girlfriends flat and as I stepped out John and his friends jumped me. They started beating me up, and with no people around I was left at their mercy.“Why are you still here you crazy drawer? You better get away from Anna’s flat. I never want to see you again! Understand?” Said John
Many more insults and threats came my way. I didn’t plan to leave the city. I loved it. On my way home many more people said the same thing. They didn’t want me here.
I tried to remember the reason why they all hated me but nothing came to my mind. I continued walking down toward downtown. On my way there many memories flashed before my eyes. I remenised every time I was pushed aside, every time I was insulted, every time I was treated differently. And then it hit me. At that point I realised what was the problem. I never talked bad about anyone, the time at the cafe was an accident. I don’t know why I overreacted. I was of a different color, I was into different things, I thought differently, and spoke differently. Those were all problems that caused me to do what I did.
I found myself in front of my girlfriends flat, and as I was passing by I saw her leaving the building.“Anna!” I called her
She turned around kind of confused.
“Andrew!” she said happily “what are you doing here? I didn’t see you in years.” she continued
“I had some unfinished business here” I said “but that’s not important, have some plans for later?” I asked politely
“I’m really happy to see you but I really don’t have any time. Maybe tomorrow?” She asked.
“I think I’ll be able to” I responded “can I have your number so we can talk about it?” I finished
“Sure” She said and gave me a small note with her number.
“Actually I can’t. I have to leave early tomorrow.” I said in one breath.
She looked at me and nodded “Okay… But be sure to call me next time you’re around okay?” Anna asked.
“I’ll do my best.” I assured her and continued to walk.
Strolling down the city I noticed that people started coming out. It was around noon and streets were soon filled with familiar, and yet different faces. I remembered how some of those faces made me feel. I took my phone and texted Leo and Anna that I’ll be leaving soon, but I also told them that I’ll be back soon. I didn’t want to leave them just like that.
“There’s only one thing I want to do before I leave.” I said to myself.
I closed my eyes for a second, took a deep breath and pulled my paint brush and a small canvas from my backpack.
Moments later the sky turned into a beautiful bright blue, and the sun was shining from behind the tiny white clouds. With such ease Andrew was painting details of the good old city on his small canvas. Big houses, small buildings, empty streets covered with snow, and beautiful sky. “The city will always be with me after I finish.” Andrew thought.He continued to paint, losing himself along the way. When the picture was done Andrew was tired and he felt lost. Few hours had passed, and he didn’t see anyone on the streets. The city looked the same as it looked while he was painting. Almost like nothing had changed. Almost like the city was trapped in his picture. While he was capturing every single detail of the city, Andrew didn’t pay attention to what was happening around him. And at the moment he lost himself in the picture; he couldn’t come out. He was trapped in the moment for so long that he became one with it. He felt the same way as when he came there, he felt weird, unwanted, different. He only left a small backpack and canvas behind him. The place he was sitting at was soon covered with the snow again. No one noticed when he disappeared. No one even knew he was here; other than those two friends he saw.
