What is your opinion?
Great Short!
"Great Short! This was very well written. I also think that if you wanted to ever expand on this and make it a multi-chapter story you could easily. If you do, I would be very interested to read it. Keep up the great writing!"
Dumbledore's intentions
"The story did a great job of telling what if Dumbledore was a villain. The writing is commendable. However, I am more a fan of showing than telling, so I would like to see more of that. If Dumbledore was evil, it would make sense for him to hunt down and obtain the remaining Hallows and take them for himself. Perhaps it would make more sense to fit in his doings with his intentions. And what of his background story? Did he still have a dead sister? Overall, it was a good attempt and I would love for it to do more."
Realistic end
"That's quite logical outcome, there many people like thet. Though in Rowling's world, in her story there is a distance and difference between Dumbledore who shared Grindewald's intentions and ideas and the oldman who learnt some lessons. Dumbledore really wanted some universal - greater good, that's why he was pityless to people. and did not think about their personal happiness of life. To give him justice, he was pityless to himself too. However, the story is amusing."
Excellent plot, but too brief
"I think this story is an example of the importance of "show, don't tell". Because while the idea behind the story is exquisite, without any obvious plot holes and no technical faults I could pick up on - it reads very flatly because it's essentially Harry giving a summary of the events without giving much opportunity for the reader to see the events as they happen. At the very least there should have been a little more show at the end when Dumbledore showed up to face Harry a last time - there's really no excuse for just glancing over that part when the narrator himself was there in the middle of the action. Other ways to divert from the telling would have been to, for example, reference how the golden trio in the original books would often give each other exposition when necessary. Start off with Harry doing a minor exposition dump on the backstory to Hermione and Ron and then cut to a flashback of when Dumbledore shows up. End of flashback and Harry wraps up any loose ends with more exposition if necessary. But like I said initially, the core of the story is really great, and it certainly made me want to read a full fleshed out version where we get to see the scenes of Dumbledore interacting with Grindlewald, how he faked his own death and how the showdown between him and Harry went. If you ever decide to flesh out the story and show all these scenes you've told us about then I would feel most privileged to read it, because I think could be a true gem."
Review
"Overall, the story was well written, and i certainly could not find any obvious mistakes, but you could have elaborated a bit more about the background of the characters, for example, you could have found more about Dumbledores family, his relationship with Gellert how he molded and used Tom for his own ends, how he failed, and how finally he used Harry. And so on."
