Voldemort's Weakness Bared

"Moony, I can't do this," Sirius whispered, his knuckles white and twisting in his lap.

"Why not? We've waited our whole lives to kill the son-of-a-bitch, let's do it," Remus looks into Sirius's eyes, his face tired and haggard but his jaw set.

You look at your two best friends. Sirius's terrified expression, the eyes wide, the pupils dilated. Remus's prematurely lined face, the firm mouth, yet soft eyes. You've never seen him look at anyone else like that. On cue, Sirius's head droops in a very doglike way, and he whimpers in fear. Remus gently runs his hand over Sirius's.

"It's okay. We can do it. We can do it together. I believe in you. I believe in us," he soothes, his voice tender with love. Sirius doesn't look convinced.

You have to admit, you're scared. But the chance of killing Voldemort is a chance that cannot be wasted. You have to try. After the Golden Trio's death, your only chance is to help the two remaining Marauders end the war once and for all.

"Are you guys sure about this?" you mumble.

"Yes." Sirius says loudly. Remus and you turn to him in surprise. "Look, it's now or never. We can't just sit here and not act when the lives of the wizarding world are at stake. We are going to do this to everyone he murdered. For James. For Lily. For Harry." Sirius stands up, puffs out his chest, and squares his shoulders, looking unexpectedly impressive. For a second you stare at him. Then all of you burst out laughing.

"Let's go then," Remus grins, grabbing Sirius's hand. The couple looks at each other with the familiar mischievous look in their eyes, and Remus briefly touches two fingers to Sirius's face.

You hate to interrupt their special moment, especially when you could stare at them, filled with awe, forever, but you have to know. "Guys, um…. What's the plan again?"

Sirius looks thunderstruck. "We didn't tell you?! Ok basically, we know where Voldemort is. He's in Regulus's room, looking for the locket. He knows it's there. However, what he doesn't know is that the noble and most ancient House of Black is bewitched such that only a Black can successfully commit murder within its walls – and no counterspell or binding magic can block the killing curse. I am going to do it, and I am going to enjoy it." Sirius gives you a grim smile, a trace of savagery creeping into his dark eyes, and you are reminded of the fact that he spent 12 years in Azkaban.

"Ready? We're going to Apparate there at the count of three. Wands at the ready, and both of you grab my arm." Remus chokes out. You and Sirius nod, your hearts beating hard. You grasp Remus's forearm and close your eyes.

Iron bands squeeze your chest, your lungs compress painfully, your heart appears to be beating sideways, and your eyeballs compress into your skull. You're about to die, right now-

And then wonderful oxygen enters your brain and you resist the impulse to take deep gasping breaths. The three of you are standing in the dark landing outside Regulus's bedroom. A sliver of light falls on the ground a few centimeters ahead of you. You hear movement inside the room, then the murmur of a high, cold, cruel voice.

"Is it possible the blood traitor never did hide it here but instead gave it to Dumbledore? Stupid little boy, I should have killed him when I had-"

You feel, rather than hear, Sirius lunge for the door, breaking it open. Voldemort whirls around in surprise, the red eyes wide with shock. He reaches for his wand in the same moment that you step forward, and feel the heel of your shoe stumble and slip. As you fall forward into the light, Voldemort's gaze falls on you, but before he can turn his wand on you, you feel the hem of your robes catch on a stray nail sticking out of the wall. Before you know it, there is an almighty ripping sound. Your robes tear spectacularly from the bottom to the top as you fall to the ground, and, unfortunately, you hadn't done your laundry that week and so aren't wearing anything under your robes. Voldemort screams in surprise and Sirius utters a low cry of shock as you fall to the ground, spread-eagled, and completely, humiliatingly, and utterly naked.

Having never seen a naked woman in his life, upon having a vision of your naked body burned into his retinas, Voldemort makes a choking sound, clutches his heart, keels over, and promptly dies of a heart attack.

"Nice of you to do the job for me," Sirius grins as Remus doubles up, howling with laughter.

You turn magenta.