What is your opinion?
I need more!
"This is such a great twist on well known clichés, and the writing style really brings out the ideas. The characters are well written and likeable, and I'm really sad to see this amazing idea abandoned. "
Can't Wait for More
"This is a great start and I can't wait to read more. I really like the idea and the many possible directions it could go in. There aren't many grammatical errors I could find. It went by so fast that I didn't even realize it was over. Can't wait for more!"
Great story
"Jessica is a great character and could be a reflection of many of us. I love the story and the author's writing style so much!"
keen-edged fantasy
"Spot-on pacing for an intriguing modern fantasy. This author seems aware of tropes found in YA fantasy and is clearly having fun with them. I'm intrigued at the world the author has sketched in, and eager to read more. Pacing is top-notch--I never felt bored or skipped over parts. This is clearly a polished work ready to find its audience, as long as the author can follow through on delivery of the promises of the first few chapters. Great job!"
Well presented!
"Although the plot itself wasn't something I'd normally like, I was immediately drawn in with the dialogue's realism. It was almost as if the writer had been there before, like she was writing from personal experience, and that's always a good sign. The punctuation and grammar is of high quality, and what's more the story's opening moments in the library juxtaposed with the incoherent text-speak of the infuriating teenager further strengthen this. I sense perhaps the author has a vendetta against this style of communication. ;)"
And the plot thickens...
"Alrighty then! I´m just going to start out by saying that this is really quite a good story. I´m going to go over every point, saying what was good and what needed improvement. Firstly, plot. Its a good premise so far. The story had some very intersting points, especially with the glasses. I love the idea, its so interesting! On the other hand, its a bit slow for chapter four. By now it should be getting more exiting, otherwise the reader might get bored. Personally I would have made this into two chapters rather than four, that way it feels like its just the beginning. Also, the plot is a bit unclear so far. I dont know if that is intentional or not, but I am very confused about what type of "stories" Peter is talking about. Ancient Greece? Rome? English/German folklore? Scandinavian? All of them? Its need to be specified. Usually an author would pick only one culture and then stick with that, but you´ve hinted at several of them. Goblins (and Peter is a goblin, not a dwarf, dwarfs dont have pointy teeth) are more northern Europe and satyres belong in Greek Mythology. This is something that could either play out really well or turn into a shipwreck. Tread carefully. Secondly, characters. The characters in this story is what reallt kept it going, especially Jessica. As a young woman with OCD tendencies myself, I think the character is very well written. I like how she is and I think she is complex enough for these four chapters. But dont forget to evolve her as a character as the story progresses, its a common misstake I see many people make. I also like Peter and Giles. Especially Giles because he seems like a good guy but not a nice guy. Its a good contrast and it gives the story more deepth. Not all good characters are angels. Writing style, over all very good. Text has a very nice flow, none of the hiccups you usually find. Dialouges could be better formated, its difficult to keep track of who ways what if there is alot of talking. Technical style is the same. There was a few sentences in the beginning that need a look-over but other than that it looks great. Overall a very good story, cant wait to read more!"
