What is your opinion?
Good!
"This is an interesting plot I must say. It has potential to be a really good story. I do like the different charters voice. I got a bit confused because they all were in first person. It just made a few lines in the story a bit confusing. I would say write it in 3rd person. I would also say just a tad bit more description. Over all it is a catchy story and i would keep reading!"
A lovely start...
"This is not typically the type of book that I would usually read but I enjoyed it very much. You have a really interesting plot and I would like to see how the rest of the book plays out. Is this your first book? Because you have a lot of potential as a writer here, really great ideas and are good at moving the plot forward. You have clearly put a lot of thought and effort into your work - so really well done! Just some tips for improvement: 1) When writing a book with multiple voices it's best to stick to third person. First person is absolutely perfect when there is one voice but it can get really confusing when you're using first person with multiple characters. As the book progresses, it changes from first to third person and back again in multiple places in the same chapter - this can be very confusing for the reader. I think it's a great idea to change prospective as this can give you a great insight to another character. However, I would stick to one point of view per chapter (meaning either first or third, not both). If you prefer first person, I would only use it for one character and third for every other character. 2) When you wrote about Athena's mum's age. It stated she was "the head scientist at 29". Do you mean she is 29 or she achieved head scientist at 29? This needs to be clearer as I wasn't sure, the latter being more plausible, 3) There are some grammar and punctuation errors, nothing too major. 4) Try to structure your descriptions with more visual details to show the reader what is happening. This is something that will come with time. You have the base of the story so far, you just need some things fleshing out. Overall, a really fantastic start! Keep up the hard work! I hope I helped x"
Great!
"I’m really enjoying this so far! I love the writing style! Clear and descriptive while not overwhelming the reader with details, while still providing plenty of descriptions, so great job with that! I didn’t notice any grammar mistakes either. And the characters really jump off the page-right from the beginning I’m invested! Overall great job! :) "
great
"story develops well"
