What is your opinion?
Fabulous
"what a story you have goin on here. It is awesome, and truthfully I don't like gold either. Ha. Keep up the good work, can't wait to finish all the books, I love Greek Mythology."
3/5 ⭐️
"Some weak points I found in the story: (-) The Summary --> It starts off with an unneeded question. The last two sentences of the summary are also a bit weird and could be worded differently. (-) Dialogue --> They don't sound regal enough. Although Zeus is quick to temper, I don't think he would talk like that. I also don't like the way Apollo sounds like a frat boy. (-) Opening Scene --> It would have had a better impact if it were written from the 3 POV because the 1st looks sloppy. (-) Time Period --> What time period is this even written in? In the beginning, it seems like it might be in the days of the Greek empire, but then there was something about a ski lift, which seems a lot more modern. I think you should work to establish exactly when the story takes place more early on. (-) Historical Things --> I can see a fine line of fact and fiction. Like some parts read as a book would, but others sound like it's straight from an online essay. I think you should work on blending the two of these together. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them for you. Take care ^^"
Getting There
"The plot is fun and intriguing--can't get enough of demigods, personally--and no question in my mind that the author loves her characters. The writing skills were pretty clean, also, which I greatly appreciate. It's just...I felt more like I was sitting across a coffeeshop table from her, being told what was happening, rather than being on-site seeing/hearing/smelling/tasting/feeling it with my own eyes. Lots of things that could have been shown in action or in dialogue were just...handed to me. It's not a huge problem and not one that can't be overcome--and I hope this writer will. The story deserves it! Please keep writing!"
