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As the lowest member of her tribe, Astrig has no one to look out for her. In her harsh young life, she's learned to use men as efficiently as they use her, but that won't change her status. If only she had a little magic...
Astrig’s mind wandered as she lay on the pallet while the boy moved his body in quick bursts. He was rough, but not the roughest he had ever been.
She didn’t mind; he'd be done soon, and she liked having the favor of someone higher-born. It was Astrig's fifteenth year.
She was angry, but not at him. As a kitchen girl, she was always stuck scrubbing in the kitchen while Muriel served the men out front, fawning and pawing the best plate leavings. Astrig did things the men liked; it wasn't fair.
She dwelled on it, and the anger made her want to smash the other girl’s face in.
Astrig shifted her body so Kerr Ammon would think she was interested, but she looked over at the dusty floor. She noticed a black cricket on the splintery wood planks of the lean-to she slept in.
Kerr pushed into her harder drawing her attention back to him as he grunted, and her anger flashed again. That was when Astrig found out her power could push as well as pull.
But, she couldn’t send her wrath into the boy - she didn't want anyone to find out her secret. Instead, she sent a spark out across the floor and pushed the cricket into the corner.
The creature tried to hop away but turned back the way Astrig wanted it to - into the web. A big brown spider shot out like lightning and grabbed it. Astrig pretended she could see the spider's fangs, and she felt better. But Muriel would still pay.
Astrig was born to a woman of the Savik tribe. Her father had come from the foreign city of Mer Segarra, though he hadn't been magic like most of his kind. And, being a piss-poor hunter with no magic meant the tribe didn’t want him around long.
Astrig thought of her father only when she considered whether her small magic came from him or somewhere else.
She thought even less of her mother, who gave her nothing but the story of her birth. When you came into the world, the midwife told me to leave you for the wild dogs.
Astrig learned early that when bad luck or tragedy came to the tribe, fingers pointed at her. The Mer Segarran had brought evil into their midst. She'd been beaten more than once just for existing.
The cricket in the corner was entirely encased in silk now, and the boy left her to her thoughts. She wondered if she was evil like her mother said. She didn't think so, but sometimes the hate and fear and malice felt like it might consume her.
It was late winter and the Savik had stayed in their temporary camp too long. The men were anxious to move. They loitered, gambled, bedded the girls. Sometimes they came to the kitchens where Astrig worked.
“Kerr Ammon, you shouldn’t let that oaf D’Alton think he can best you - you’re the stronger.”
Astrig butchered a deer carcass as she talked. She was petite but strong and could do most of it herself. But she had a plan for one of the other girls to clean up that day.
“Let it be, Astrig,” Kerr replied as he watched her work. “I’ll go with my father the next time…”
He was almost a man and had most of the privileges that bestowed. He looked at Astrig as she worked and felt himself getting hard, but there would be trouble if he interfered and the meat spoiled. And when there was trouble around Astrig, bad things tended to happen.
“I just thought that Naas Ammon’s son would be bolder about such things. D’Alton thinks he’s better than you. You have the opportunity now while he’s gone. The other men wouldn't blame you. They'd do the same.”
Kerr looked over at D’Alton’s woman, Muriel. Astrig was right. A man might play for higher standing by taking another’s woman. It was petty, but accepted when the lines of leadership were in flux.
And Astrig sensed that a change in leadership was coming.
“I heard Muriel bragging how important her D’Alton was to the tribe. That’s why he was selected to go this time.”
That put Kerr on edge. If the women were talking about his standing, maybe it was time to remind them who he was.
Astrig could see the thoughts cross the young man’s face. She paused her work to concentrate and send a little push to set her plan in motion.
Kerr was angry now. “D’Alton’s a fool and Muriel shouldn’t be so loose with her tongue.”
She had him.
“She’s not even working.” Astrig lowered her voice and cocked her head. “I’m sorry I can’t be with you now, Kerr. I shouldn’t say it, but I can see…you’re ready. Makes me want to go with you.”
She looked through her tawny hair with mock shyness as Kerr’s face turned red for something other than anger.
“Maybe fate is working for you," Astrig continued. Muriel can satisfy you today since I have to finish this.”
Kerr heard logic in Astrig’s voice, and he simply nodded and left to find Muriel and teach her that he was just as important as D’Alton. More so, even.
Kerr was grateful. Other girls would be jealous, but Astrig only helped him. He entered the small shack that served as kitchen and quarters for the girls who were too young to be married and too old to be children. Just right for many of the men.
Astrig watched Kerr walk away. He was the leader’s son, but he was so stupid. She had done a good job of propping him up but that would stop soon.
Next: Astrig is honing her ability to manipulate others. Will it put her in a better position in the tribe?









Great world-building! That was one compelling beginning. I couldn't spot any grammatical errors, so great job at that author! I love the fact that that the MC is witty and has an average IQ, unlike in many other books where the protagonist commits basically all the horrendous blunders in the book. The chapter flowed really well. Just a head up, try writing shorter paragraphs, although, I personally have no problems regarding the length, I have observed readers complaining about lack of spacing. But all in all, I loved the chapter!!
Ohhh. I have to keep reading. Love this so far.
Compelling start! It's a tense chapter, directing us to the conflict right away - the crises between the two characters (D'Alton and Kerr) and Astrig the MC herself. I agree with the world-building, I'm confident that the author knows the characters so well and their motivations - which, I think, is the reason why the chapter starts with a backstory of Astrig and the man she's been with. I have no problems with the chapter length. The narrative at times can stray a little bit with the details, but I'm guessing it'll get better as the plot thickens in the later chapters. :)