What is your opinion?
Le Givre
"I love the story. Amazing! You just kept reading to see the next chapter. It will sure make an interesting read. I love the effort put into it to sensitize everyone especially the females. I am sure there is a lot of lessons to learn from the story. At some point, it wanted to look more horror-like but I think it never got to that extreme as I thought, but mild. A few suggestions though, watch your grammar and punctuation. Try to connect every paragraph carefully and thoughtfully. It seems to me you are putting ideas down too fast. Let it flow naturally because I know, you know exactly what you want to tell your audience, let the build-up be gradual. I love the narration and different examples to buttress your point' Overall, a good story with morals! Good work."
Le Givré
"I was completely astonished when I reached the end of the story. I absolutely loved it. What happened with Avril's mother left a deep scar and effected her. Apart from some grammar that can be easily fixed I absolutely loved it. 😍"
Cool
"I am new here but I liked the book"
Good
"I liked it but I don't get the ending Why is the title it never really ends but then you say it ends by her being better and everything? Will there be a second book? "
Great Premise
"So, just some general guidelines to start - small grammar issues - told, not shown - unimmersive (nothing left to the imagination) - "It was all a dream" aspect This is not to say it is bad. The story is about a young girl who wishes to get revenge for the deaths caused by Le Givre. We are run through the various cases of the victims presented as afterthoughts, although they are dead. Then we are put into the shoes of the main character, Avril, who finally gets the chance to enact her plan in exacting revenge. There is some build-up to this concept, as the minor mention of her knowing this event would eventually happen, however, it's only mentioned once. The prologue. The prologue has issues with revealing later key details and doesn't leave much for the reader to learn or discover. And throughout the tales of the victims, we are told the same story with slightly altered details to fit their own lives. Le Givre is the perfect man, full of devotion and love, incapable of wrong, and oh so intelligent. But how? I have no idea who this man is, but he must be pretty great. But in the grand scheme of things, this repeated description leaves him as only a passing thought and I still don't know what kind of person he is. I understand that this man is a projection of something that happened in the past, however, there are no signs, patterns, motifs, or hints that draw that piece of information to a grand conclusion, well... one that has anything to do with the first half of the story. Perhaps a characteristic that this man always has, something that not only relates to the women on a personal level but something that the main character fixates on about him. That brings us to the ending. To explain, why I mentioned that it has an "it was all a dream" aspect is because in the end none of it really mattered. There was no build-up or clues to this at all and it was suddenly thrust upon us by a character with whom we have no connection to. Which is another point in itself that we are not given any reason to care about the characters or Avril getting better. We don't know these characters through their life experiences since it is never shown and what is told is a brief summary to the point (we know the result, not the cause nor exactly why). Like I said in the very beginning, this does not mean that your story is god awful, or that I hate it. It means that the premise is good, and I think it can become something great. One thing I noticed and loved was the biases in each narration fit with the fact they are all told by the same person. Small things like that are always to be noticed. Hopefully, you can grow from this writing experience and make something awesome! Can't wait to see your future projects."
Great start!!!!
"Awesome! Thrillers always excite me and author has added a special twist to the story. So the story revolves at wound a serial killer who goes around killing single women. And a young girl waiting for her revenge. I like how you are including the inner dialogue’s of the dead. It helps to understand them better. But my suggestion would be try to give a little more detail about 1-2 dead women. It feels very superficial right now. The dialogue And writing style is good. There are few grammatical errors but it can easily be fixed. Cant wait to read more chapters. Update soon mate. ❤️❤️🙈💌🌈💯🦋 Totally hooked. "
