What is your opinion?
Liked the story though erotic even to the reader
"The suspense was Abit too plain add more suspense such that I cannot tell what's next ...good work "
Loved it
"One of the best stories that I have read so gar"
Permission to review?
"Finally, a story that has a master tell his sub to go into pre=arranged positions. It's not only about the sexual release but about the dynamic of partners. A sub's trust is more powerful than a master's instrument. A sub's submission empowers a master to be more confident, sure of their decisions, and focus on the sub's pleasures. I would like to see you upload more of your works, ideas, and stories. Rihanna sang it best, "'Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it Sticks and stones may break my bones, But chains and whips excite me""
Promising, but...
"For this reader, the story was not very compelling. I found the beginning to be good, but the rest of the story did not really make me sweat the way erotic writing should. I think what is missing for me is more about how things actually feel. Most of this is told from the female/sub's perspective, but the story lacks explanation of why she finds this kind of relationship to be so stimulating for her. What is it about the relationship that so excites her, that makes her want to submit? I don't get a good sense of that. Along the same lines, the sex scenes had a good physical description, but lacked much insight into how it actually felt for the participants, particularly the sub. Physical sensation is notoriously difficult to describe, but I think you have to make more of an effort to with this story. The physical and the emotional. There are many grammatical issues here: poor sentence structure, run-on sentences, issues with comma use etc. This needs a thorough editing. Many of the paragraphs are too long and should be broken. This is an issue when reading on a small screen. With my screen there is a formatting issue in the second chapter where many word pairs are combined into a single word, e.g. "Showme", "tugginglightly". There is promise here, but it needs work. I hope this is helpful."
