I'm Sorry, don't leave me!

Today is my son’s seventh birthday and the day to which I have to let go of the once happy family which I dreamt in years and carefully cared for in eight years like holding a vase of delicate porcelain. Even though how much I tried to make this family intact, happy, contented and faithful but my beloved husband one day fell out of love for me. It was the saddest and the most depressing day of my life like the entire universe came crumbling down at my feet. I tried so hard to save my failing marriage but me alone struggling to keep it intact was like trying to hold the running water by a hand. Slowly, it dissipated and will vanish sooner or later.

That was the situation when I understood I have to let go of him whom I loved the most. Forcing him to stay by my side was like putting him in a cage where he can feel no freedom. My love for him goes beyond my own happiness and security; so, I realize that I have to set him free and I agreed to the arrangements he made two years ago about the idea of annulment when our son will reach the age of discretion.

My son, Kerby---such a unique name, turned seven today and we planned to organize a small celebration for him. He was all I got and the reason which I have to keep going in life. He got his father’s look—curly hair like that of a baby angel, pointed nose, brown eyes and even toned skin. They said he had my qualities and intelligence---witty, well-mannered and kind. Whenever I gazed at him, the memory of my unique love story came afresh my mind--the love story that was sweetly written in my heart that will soon end sadly. Will it? Was there no other way? Why keep my hopes of him returning to me when in fact the glimmer of his eyes every time he saw me disappeared entirely? What has gone wrong along the way?