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As tears dropped down, she smiled in sadness as she knew she’ll never be wanted by others. She acted as if she was this energetic and carefree person who never cares what others think but Deep down, she was Quiet, Anxious, and cared what everyone thought of her. As her thoughts raced, and her throat burning from holding back everything she wanted to yell at the top of her lungs. To Be Seen. To be heard. To be wanted. Everyone told her that she was loved but something was still holding her back from the feeling of happiness. She wanted to know so desperately why she was like this. She Felt like She fell into a hole of questions and the need to escape. It was so dark yet also blinding. She screamed but nothing came out. Hide they say, hide how you look, hide who you are. Hide. hide. HIDE. But what’s the point if they already know? What’s the point if everyone knows who you are. Or who they think you are? The fear of not knowing where she came from always haunted her. The guilt of not being able to be the girl everyone expected came crashing down on her at an early age. No older than 9. She was outcasted in elementary school. Just for being who she was. She was weird, she was outcasted, she was untrusted, she was ugly, she was… No. She is. She is weird, she is outcasted, she is untrusted, and she is ugly. She knew it. She didn’t fear it anymore, For she knew it was true. Yet it still haunted her. She always asked why she wasn’t wanted anywhere, yet they gave her the same old answer. “You belong, where did you get that from?” She hated that response, she just wanted an honest truth. For someone to be honest with her. “Why? Why? Why? Why?” She asked over and over again all her life yet there were no answers given. Her heartbreak was like falling down the stairs, not knowing what’s going to happen next. But that’s how life is?
Right?
