KETER

"You are here" Someone says. His voice is calm but deeply penetrating my conscious.

I open my eyes and found myself standing Infront of a door. Strangely enough I can't notice how the looks or shape. But I know that it is a door and that little information is good enough for me.

I try to open the door which seems like it's a natural thing to do, I don't need a permission to do it, I don't need to knock either, someone already call me inside, he is waiting for me. The door handle feels cold and fragile as if it's never been used for a long time, but I force myself to open it. The door creaking sound welcome me with a slow gush of wind coming from inside.

When the door is open, I immediately start to walking with my head straight. I lost the confidence that I'm the one who control my legs. Me and my legs are just walking in the room. I ignore what is happening with my body and continue walking.

It's strange, I can't perceive any information about the room or my surrounding. At the first glance, I can see some of them for moment before they are changing into something meaningless Infront of my eyes. I try it again to another thing in the room, I see an equipment and try to focus my eyes and learning what actually it is? Again At my first glance, I learn that it's a tool or something of mechanism and I can tell that it is very important and priceless but the harder I'm getting to get more information from it, the quicker it turns into meaningless box shape for me, it's like looking at a rock at the road which I usually take.

I see someone, he is on the other side the room. It's a man sitting at his desk with only a single orange light bringing a brightness for his space. and I can see that he is working: writing on a something. A book.

I keep walking toward him and stand Infront of his desk, I have a feeling that i should wait for him to say something to me.

"You were a fragment of my thought" He says.

After he said that, I can feel myself released from some bond that has been attached to me for a very long time. I'm free from that bond, I can feel it, but I am not sure what it is. Consecutively, I walk to the right side of his chair so that I can see what somehow he wanted me to see. When he spoke that command? I don't know, yet again it doesn't matter for me.

______________let there be light_____________

"I have seen this sentence many times before, why do you want me to read it?" I comment spontaneously.

"And yet you don't understand" He says.

It looks like my presense doesnt bother him, he still continue his work. He doesn't even bother to look at me.

"What is this place?" I ask.

"It's my place. I work here" He replied.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"You know where we are, ever since you were a child you always ask me to come here. Here I am" He replies.

"Are you..." I ask.

"I am" He replies.

"Am I..." I ask.

"You skipped that step" He replies.

"What? Hold on..you are saying that I skipped death? What is that even mean" I ask.

"What did you read just now?" He ask me. My last question doesn't concern him and it doesn't seems like he will answer it. He still working and writing on his book. He never look at me.

"It says let there be light" I reply.

"And that's how created it" He says.

"What is that mean? You mean you create light simply by write it down?" I ask.

"Yes. And I also created you and your death by simply write you down at the book, and I also create your universe simply by write it down" He continues.

"What?" I am confuse.

"Your light, your dark, your universe,your death, everyone and everything known and unknown to you...They are words in my book" He continues.

"What? Where is this? Where were you all this time? Why no one can find you?" I say.

"You were a fragment of my thought until I wrote you down. That's when i put you in the book. The book is the whole story of your reality and universe, and your reality and universe is just words in my book. Everything that I wrote become a command to all materials. And all materials is also just merely words in my book. My words is already in your book. I am here and always" He says.

It takes times for me to understand what said. I tried to distract myself to look at our surrounding but to no avail. All things in this room is turning in to meaningless items for me after seconds I see them.

He is still working on a book, I try to look what kind of book it and what kind of pen he is using and what kind of gesture of his body and hand to write but.. No, there is nothing there for my brain to digest. and It's the first time that I start to understand my situation. This man is telling the truth. He is God.

"Why am I here?" I ask.

"I allowed you to be here" He replies.

"For what?" I ask.

"You are here because you always wanted to be here to meet me. Then I granted you a freedom to be here. What are you gonna do about it?" He ask.

"I don't even know what to say.. We are just words in your book.. Everything is just words in your book" I say.

"That is the truth" He pauses his work. I am starting to get his attention but he still not looking at me. After a moment, he continues his work.

My piece of memories start flashing on my vision. I can remember what happened before I got here. Deep desperation and sorrow haunted me in an instant and throwing me into an Abyss. A tear coming though my eyes.

"What happen to my universe? Did you end it?" I ask him while still holding my tears.

"The end is always there, I wrote it and I finished your book. I can see the end of the book and I can turn it back to the beginning of the book, All I need to do is turning the papers back and forth" He calmly reply, he ignores my realization.

"But why all of this happen? I don't understand your reason" I ask.

"I am the reason" He says.

"What? Don't you find it cruel?" I ask.

"Cruel is a word from me. It exists when I wrote it in your book. You understand cruel, but a word will never be able to see the structure of a whole book. Believe in me. Because I'm the reason of all" He replies. He dismissed all my reactions and emotions.

"How can I understand you" I say.

"You can't because you don't have to.." He then pauses his work.

"Look for example, I notice that I wrote "chemical bond" in your book, you don't know what it is so I am going to give you a quick introduction, It's like cooking. It is an activity that happen when you get something "new" by combining different things. But do you know how they actually happen in the size of even far far far more smaller then you can see?" He continues.

"I don't know..." I says

"But you know the result, did you?" He ask.

"Yes" I answer.

"And now, how relevant is that all the explanation for you?" He continues

"It matters. I want to know everything, we human want to know everything" I reply.

"And I already told you that I'm the reason for that...This is the conclusion of whatever you are trying to find. The end of your journey to understand anything. ME" He says

"...." I can't say anything. I'm speechless.

"Do you know how you got here?" He ask again, Ignoring my confusion.

"I don't...really remember" I answer.

"Yes you do, I called you. I am the reason of why you are here" he says

"But that doesn't really explain how I got here" I demand more explanation.

"And now I am giving you a choice between two:

1. You can spend ALL your time here and I will explain all that down to the far far far more complicated than you can possibly imagine that resulted YOU being here.

2. You can simply accept the truth and finally have a conversation with me".

Now He look me in the eyes and waiting for my answer.

He is right, I can't. It's clear that I can not waste my chance here.

.................