Some Houses Bleed

The house was big, very big. The more the realtor showed Ray around, the more he realized just how great an undertaking it was going to be to bring the old place back to life. But it was a house that Ray wanted in the worst way.

For years the old two-story had been left abandoned. It was built in the early 1800's and was in dire need of an update. But the age of the house and the wear and the tear was not what was keeping buyers away.

"This is definitely the house I saw online," said Ray.

"It is a bit of a fixer-upper," said Jessie, who was very new to the job and extremely eager to make her first sale. "Which means you really get to make it your own."

"It's gonna take a lot of work," said Ray.

"Which is why it's priced to sell," said Jessie. "You will not find a house in this neighborhood at this size for this price. One might even say it's a steal. How has it not sold yet? Am I right?"

"I do love it," said Ray. "And it's in my price range. That's a huge plus."

"And it has more than enough rooms for you and your family."

"Oh, it's just me," replied Ray. "I used to be married . . . but not anymore."

"Really?" asked Jessie, sounding more than a bit surprised. "This is a lot of house for one person."

Ray didn't respond.

"Are you a house flipper?" asked Jessie.

"Something like that," replied Ray. "I like to think that I leave a house a little better off than how I found it."

"Then this is definitely the house for you."

"I think I found my new place," said Ray.

"There's just one tiny, little, insignificant detail that I have to disclose to you before we can do any paperwork."

"What's that?" asked Ray.

"This dwelling is considered a stigmatized property," explained Jessie.

"What does that mean?" asked Ray.

"Well, some people, mostly the superstitious, think this house is kind of . . . haunted."

"Wait . . . what? Are you telling me that you're trying to sell me a haunted house? Is that why this place is so cheap? Did a bunch of people get murdered here or something? Am I going to be cursed if I buy this place? Like I can never leave?"

Jessie was clearly taken aback by what Ray had just said and was unable to muster an answer.

Ray immediately began laughing. "I'm just messing with you," he said. "I don't believe in all that supernatural garbage. People hear a creak in the night or see a shadow on the wall and assume that means there's a ghost in the house. Believe whatever you want to believe. If it means I'm getting a house for thirty percent less than market value, then good for me."

Ray filled out all the paperwork that afternoon, and within only a few days was moving his belongings into the house.

As he was lugging boxes from the moving truck to the house, an older couple pulled up in a beat-up old truck. They quickly made their way to Ray and greeted him just as two people who had known him for years would have.

"So you're the new owner," said the old woman, eagerly shaking Ray's hand.

"It's a hell of a house," said the old man. "A hell of a house."

Before Ray knew it, the couple had ushered him right into the house.

"It looks just like the pictures on the internet," said the old man. "Ooh, there's the fireplace."

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" asked Ray.

"Oh, where are our manners?" said the old woman. "My name is Estelle and this is my husband Warren."

"It's nice to meet you," said Ray. "I'm Ray. So what are you doing here? I just bought this place, so if you're interested in it, I hate to tell you that you're a little late."

"Oh, we're not buyers," said Estelle. "We just have a fascination with old houses like yours."

Warren pulled out a camera and began taking pictures.

"Am I missing something?" asked Ray. "Is this house, like on an historic registry or something? Cause if it is then am I gonna have to run it by the city if I want to make any renovations?"

"Oh, don't change a thing, dear," said Estelle. "Leave it just the way it is. Have you moved much of your stuff in yet?"

"Not much," replied Ray. "I just started moving boxes about an hour ago."

"Oh, that's good," said Estelle.

"What's your husband doing?" asked Ray, who noticed Warren had taken hold of the curtains.

"Oh, pay no attention to him," replied Estelle. "Why don't you show me the kitchen? I'm sure it's the most interesting room in the house."

To Ray's dismay, Warren pulled out a lighter and tried to set the curtains on fire. Fortunately the lighter looked to be just as old as the couple and wasn't igniting.

"What's he doing?" asked Ray.

"Oh, don't worry about him," said Estelle. "Now, you were about to show me the kitchen." And with that, Estelle tried to lead Ray away. "You just keep looking forward, dear. Let us save your life."

Eventually the lighter ignited and Warren succeeded in setting the curtains on fire.

"You crazy old coot!" shouted Ray before running to put out the flames.

Ray had nothing capable of putting out a fire so the best he could do was to pull the curtains from the wall and attempt to stomp them out.

"Don't do that," said Warren, trying to pull Ray away from the burning curtains.

"You'd better get out of this house before you become the next thing I start stomping on," exclaimed Ray.

"I thought you told him we were trying to save his life," Warren told Estelle.

"I guess he wants to die in this house," said Estelle.

An hour later the police were on the scene taking a statement from Ray.

"So these old folks got the drop on you and overpowered you?" asked the officer.

"I never said they overpowered me," said Ray. "I said they caught me by surprise. They pushed me down while I was trying to put out the curtains. I guess I was too preoccupied with keeping my house from burning down to get into a fist-fight with a couple of senior citizens and prevent them from leaving."

"I've already written down that they overpowered you," said the officer. "I can't erase ink."

"Son of a bitch," said Ray.

As Ray was talking to the officer, a detective on the scene was watching him very intently.