Chapter 1
Tommy. Just your average British 15 year old boy. With 2 big brothers and a loving father. Two best friends, and a pet spider. Seems normal. His Father works as a media researcher, one of his brothers wants to be a musician, the other one a business man. But what about Tommy? It seems as if Everyone’s got their future planned. Even his friends. One of them wants to be a Scientist, the other an art director. It’s never been more frustrating for Tommy. He has 2 years to decide. But he really doesn’t know. And his family has been bugging him about it. Even if it’s two years. Tommy has never been good with decisions. It’s just to hard for him to make them. It’s almost impossible. Even small one’s. That's why he makes bad decisions often. And this is supposed to be so important. And he can just fuck it all up. He knows if he even mentions dropping out his father will blow up on him. Tommy wants to make his father proud. Just like his brothers do. But he already knows he's definitely not the favorite. It’s one of his brothers. Maybe both. Though it just seems like Tommy stands out from them. It is true. Tommy never felt like he was a part of the family. He felt different and distant from them. His relationship with his brothers was good. Until Tommy started high school. They became distant. It felt as if they didn’t think of him as a brother anymore. Tommy didn’t know if they were just scared of him growing up or thought he changed. Tommy didn’t change. By appearance maybe, but he still had the same loud and annoying personality. This wasn’t right. It felt so wrong. It felt as if there was something wrong with him. He just wanted the good old days back. When him and his brothers were close and would always hang out, watch movies and laugh. Tommy missed those days. He missed them more then anything in the world. It was almost the same with his best friends. They started drifting away from him. Ignoring him and treating Tommy as if he wasn’t there. Almost like he was a ghost. It was awful. Tommy felt more alone than ever. It wasn’t fair. Nothing was fair anymore. His brothers wouldn’t talk to him, his friends would ignore him and his fucking father didn’t even care. After a while Tommy stopped telling father how school was and what was happening in his life. He stopped after the day he begged for a therapist or someone to talk to about this. But he just brushed him of. And when it seemed that life couldn’t get any worse. It fucking did. He started failing school, his so called “friends” wouldn’t even look at him, his brothers were almost always angry at Tommy for no reason. And dad. Dad just didn’t care. He didn’t give the effort of asking Tommy if he ate, if he was hungry or anything like that. Why? Why was this all of a sudden happening? Did he do something wrong? What is the reason this is happening? Tommy didn’t want to have to be the one to mention this. But he has to. Of course he’s fucking scared out of his mind. Tommy had a feeling this will go bad. But he wanted to ask so bad. Tommy wasn’t in the best mental state. He was crying himself to sleep, or not eating for days just to get their attention. But of course none of them cared. After a while he stopped. At this point he wanted to kill himself. But he was scared of death. He wasn’t before. He used to say: he's not ready for death, death isn’t ready for him. Well that aged horribly. Not only was he scared of death. He wanted to die. It wasn’t something he wanted to feel. He just did. He just didn’t want to exist. Dad called them down for dinner. And Tommy was scared to ask. But he was going to. The silence was killing him. It was to loud. “Why...” Tommy starts. You can hear the breaking in his voice as he speaks. “Why what?” Wilbur asks. He looked almost annoyed at Tommy. Wilbur asked, but it didn’t seem like he cared. “Why have you... been either ignoring me or... getting mad at me for no reason?” Tommy said. Slowly. To not hurt anyone. To seem as nice as possible. He wasn’t mad at them. He was just...it was just not fair. They stayed silent. “Dad?” Tommy asked. His voice was just so unsure. He didn’t know if it was the right decision to ask. “Tommy, we’ll talk about this later.” Philza said. “No.” Tommy shoots back. “What do you mean by “no”?” Philza looks at Tommy like he’s crazy. “No! I want to now why!” At this point Tommy was angry. He wasn’t just “sad” anymore, he was fucking angry. “Tommy! Don’t talk back to dad!” Wilbur shouts. Techno just stays silent. “No, that's fucking it.” Tommy gets up and storms to his room. He can’t fucking do this shit anymore. He’ angry, sad, disappointed and over all...it’s just not fair. He wishes he could have like a time machine, that way Tommy could go back in time where he didn't ask or when everything was fine. At least they stopped bugging him about school right? That's the one topic Tommy didn't like. School. He's been skipping classes recently. And the school has tried many a time to talk to Phil. But he was never available. And his friends...oh does he miss when they would walk around town talking about stupid shit. He misses Tubbo and Ranboo. Tommy just wants them back. He really fucking does. He's been friends with them ever since they were little. Even before kindergarten. It's so unbelievable that they just turned on him like that. They left Tommy. At his fucking worst. He has no one. He has nothing. But why all of a sudden do that? And it's literally everyone he loves most. It's because they don't care, everyone in this world you think cares...probably doesn't. A voice that sounded awfully like Techno said. I promise you this...I'll always look out for you. Another one said, this one sounded like Wilbur. There's no big surprise you turned out this way. A voice that had that soft Philza voice said. Your the only friend i need. That...that one's Tubbo? We'll laugh until our ribs get tight. Ranboo? He doesn't understand what's happening. Why is he hearing fucking voices? This is weird shit man. Is it because he hasn't sept? Is he hallucinating? I don't deserve you, you deserve the world. Though it feels like we were built from the same...dirt. Oh, Tommy remembers this one! It's the song Wilbur made! "Your sister was right"...Wilbur used to sing this one to Tommy...he loved when Wilbur sang. He missed the singing. Some times Techno would join in and it was beautiful. He wanted to be like Wilbur so Tommy started going to voice lessons, but quit after 3 years. Tommy's teacher used to say he has a lot of potential. He kind of regrets quitting. But then he joined the marcel art's! To be like Techno! But he quit after 2 years. Then he signed up for the sowing club. He liked that one a lot, but quit after 5 years.
Now he wants to be no one. Not even himself. The treatment Tommy was getting is awful. At this point Tommy would rather live on the streets. That's not a bad idea actually. Maybe it's worth a try? But he knows he probably won't survive for that long. But the thing is there's nothing else he can do. Just wait. Wait for an answer. Wait for something. Wait for some one. Anyone. An opportunity maybe. Or a sign. At this point. Anything.
It was something he did probably. It was something he did that made people turn on him like that. Tommy knew that was the reason. He was sure of it. But what did he do? What fucking thing did he do for people to treat him like this? Did he say something? What the hell did Tommy do?
Unless there's no reason. Or they're just realizing that Tommy isn't as interesting anymore as he was before. Or they just want to be asshole's. It's almost sad, almost not worth it anymore. Almost unbelievable.
