Acceptance
"If chaos is a work of art, then my heart is a masterpiece"
-D. Antoinette Foy
“OMG Bart, you have to stop it!” - I was really pissed off.
We even didn’t left the house yet, but I already regret that I have agreed for this.
“No no, sister, listen to me!” - his eyes glowed, - “It’s been a year already!”
“It’s been a year already” - I repeated with a squeaky voice. - “So what?”
Bart gasped and rolled his eyes.
“Soooo, you need to move on. Have a fucking life, Vel!”
He is right. I need to go out from my house, live my life, meet new people and live my life...BUT....
“It’s so easy for you to say” - I replied and my voice went down. - “You are not the one who...”
Bart made a mess on my closet: pulled out all my clothes and was looking for....something.
“Just shut up, and listen to me!” - Bart interrupted me, - “I don’t wanna hear about it, about HIM or about ANYTHING related to HIM, understood?”
He seemed being very angry, but I knew he just can’t stand me suffering.
“Velia, listen to me: we gonna go, we gonna have fun, drink and see the world! And you will have fun and be happy, alright?” - He looked at me with this kind you-can’t-say-no-bitch looking.
I silently nod.
“Can’t undo your booking, you say?” - I smiled.
“Vel, if you will continue to complain or shoot me with your sadness, I will undo YOU”, - his angry look went to my clothes, - “And in the name of Gods, why all your clothes looks like you borrowed them from grandma?!”
I looked at the green sweater in his hand. It looked like I had washed it 50 times in a row. But for the past few months, I didn’t care at all what do I wear or what do I look like.
“I don’t need clothes since I hardly leave the house...”
You know this feeling, when you are absolutely happy with someone? You heart is just pumping out of your chest? Feeling, when you have your person. Your support in this shitty world. Someone, who says you are the most beautiful, the most intelligent, the most attractive to him?
When you have so much love that you give and give and give. And then, one day, everything is just gone. Your person doesn’t need you anymore. Your person, who supposed to marry you, build a happy life with you, comes home and yells into your face
“I DON’T LOVE YOU, WHAT YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND??”
They say we women are exaggerating with everything, including emotions. But when I tell you, I died that day, I am not exaggerating. Cause my heart has broken into a million fucking pieces, I almost cried my eyes out. I was choking, I couldn’t catch my breath. Cause when you love someone this much, the silence from his absence is it takes everything out of you until at the end there is nothing left but emptiness.
Bart was looking at me. He wasn’t angry, just concerned. I have to admit, even he was a kind of VERY difficult person, for his family and friends he was giving all he got. Sometimes I wonder, how it is possible, that two totally different person could became best friends? He - a tall, blonde with green eyes, IQ over 170, perfect analytical mind, limited in emotions, and VERY smart. And then me - small, thick, very emotional polyglot, introvert, fond of painting, has demon tattoos everywhere. But as Bart likes to say “Velia, your emotionality doesn’t make you less then a very intelligent and interesting person”.
To make me go out of my own cave, Bart decided this Valentine’s Day he will take me to Germany for holidays, as “We are both lonely, and you are the only woman in my life that I can pamper without remorse“. probably so he can find himself a good-looking blond for quick game, and maybe persuade me to at least talk to some guy.
Indeed, Bart was working hard whole his life, and now he is kinda rich. What makes him a target for gold-diggers. And it seems, I am the only women in his life you doesn’t give a fuck about his money. Probably this was +1 reason why I became his best friend.
“Get ready, we go to the mall right now and I’ll buy you some nice clothes for our trip”, - he said with such a daily voice, so I won’t get offended.
I took a deep breath to express my outrage but Bart took out his phone and stuck his finger in front of my face.
“I don’t want to hear anything, we’re going to Germany and you will not embarrass me with your appearance”, - he glared at me, - “You won’t be wearing stretched leggings and sweaters, you can sit at home and read your vampire romances looking like Baba Yaga, but not when we are in Europe around people!”
"Hey, that’s rude!" - I grabbed my heart, pretending it hurt. - “At least my vampire romances are not hurting my feelings”.
“Just get ready for God sake”, - he looked at his phone again. - “You have 5 minutes”.
