Don't Look

Welcome to your new home. I know you’ll love it here. Make yourself comfortable. Here’s your room. No, sorry, the master belongs to me.

This one’s great though! Look, you get a perfect view of the backyard. Great little window seat for ya. Now, there’s just a few rules we have around here that you really ought to follow. It’ll make everything run smooth.

Don’t look behind you. Never look behind you.

When you hear the giggles in the hallway, let them play. If giggling stops, turn on the living room TV. It’ll calm ’em down.

It’s rude to stare. Never stare. Stop staring.

You’ll like it here. I’m sure of it. You’ll like it here.

Just follow the rules. You can do that much, can’t you? Atta girl.

When the lights go out, light a candle. Don’t call the electrician. The electrician won’t come anyway. And you won’t like what happens next.

Why are you staring? Don’t stare. It’s rude. Stop staring.

If you feel something in the bed with you, just look the other way. They won’t bother you. We get lonely too, you know.

What happens when you have friends over? No, no, no, that’s not gonna happen. Why? Those people, they aren’t your friends. We’re your friends here. Trust me. It’s better this way. You’ll see.

I’ll bet those friends of yours are nothin’ compared to us. I’ll bet you.

We’re nice enough to share the house with you. You should be grateful. You’ll learn to love it here.

What are you doing over there for? You know better. C’mon, girl, you know better. Stay away from that part of the house.

Don’t ask about that part of the house.

Boo! Ha ha ha, gotcha.

C’mon, girl, don’t be like that. It’s a joke, alright? Just a joke.

You’ll learn to love it here.

Don’t ask about that. It’s nothing, alright? If you needed to know, you’d know. Alright?

Stop that.

Boo! Ha! Gotcha again.

Calm down, alright? It’s just a joke. Just a joke.

Oh yeah. You should get a small mirror, too. It helps when you want to look behind you.

Don’t look behind you.

It’s rude to stare.

Don’t be like that. Did you really need your dog? C’mon, admit it, it’s better here now that it’s gone. I’ll bet you were wishing that we’d do it.

Don’t be selfish, we all have to share the house. Don’t be unreasonable. Atta girl.

When the record player turns on, leave it. They get real touchy when you mess with their music. They’re nostalgic. Let ’em enjoy it. Don’t move the record player. Don’t touch the records.

Everything’s perfect around here. You’ll learn to love it here.

I noticed the sign out front. Trying to sell? It’ll never sell. You keep this place looking like a dump.

It’s fun here, isn’t it? It’s great having you here. Everyone loves you.

Oh, sorry, we wake you? I told you these are better hours to keep, anyway. Didn’t I tell ya? Much better.

What are they doing here? You want to bring them into this? You want to trouble these people this way?

Of course we did! That’s what we do, you’re the one who brought them here in the first place.

Don’t be like that.

See how much better it is when it’s just us? I told you. It’s much better this way.

I told you the house wouldn’t sell. Didn’t I tell you? The house won’t sell. If you’d liven up the place, you’d come to love it.

I wish you’d stop trying to get in there. You know the rules. You gotta follow the rules. Atta girl.

Don’t be silly, we love having you here. Of course we do! We wouldn’t wanna keep you if we didn’t!

You’ve been a great addition. It’s the other ones who cause trouble.

What d’you mean they’re causing trouble? You have a problem with the giggling? What kind of person are you, anyway? They’re just kids.

Don’t be silly. We love having you here.

What’d I tell you? Stop staring. You know I hate that. Stop staring.

I bet you’ll end up loving this house. You will. I promise. Let’s make a bet.

If you love it, you get to stay.

If you hate it, you have to stay.

You’ll learn to love it here. You will.