Good work!!

"I admire even though your story was going good, I think doing some good editing would make it even better. For instance if you choose to do any dialogue for your characters, you need to separate them in individual lines. You can indicate them with quotation marks too. I think you are aware of that. Another thing, while reading this I felt caged. Just as how your characters were, I was feeling it too. It showed how you explored feelings in your writing. Your plot already is in the making since you have conflict between your characters. I am really hoping that before you get to the high point into your story you would expand a little more about your characters. It needs to show who they are, what they are fighting for, personal description, bio-data even. Make your characters seem as though they are real and facing life challenges every day. Just as how we as humans are. Your story structure was indeed good, and just as I said an elaboration would fix all the cracks it currently has. I think this story surely has potential, and your grammar also need an uplifting a bit. It sure would make something even better and as you have said this is ongoing, I would really love to see how it turns out. I hope this helps you to figure things out."