the inevitables
I’ve never thought of losing something that I wished to have, the opportunity to stay with the one who I loved the most but it wasn’t meant to be, because it’s destiny. After the death of my mother, my father and I moved to Kampong Endah, a small village in Malaysia where there are only a few shops and food stalls, limited malls, and no tall buildings. My father Mr. Adams, is mostly known for graphic designing which he’s been doing before he got married to my mom. He works with uncle Aden, his twin brother where almost everything looks alike except for their eye colors, dad’s in bright brown eyes just like me whereas uncle Aden’s will be in bright blue and my dad is bald whereas uncle Aden has short brown wavy hair. I was only 15 years old when my mom passed away, and I started to hate myself whenever I looked into the mirror because my aunt used to say that I have her eyes. Bright brown eyes shine so brightly like the sun. I didn’t have the opportunity like the other teenagers, having a busy and happy lifestyle going to colleges or universities. Ever since mom’s death, my father limited my contacts with the outer world. “Dad, can I go to the park?” I asked in a pleading tone. “Oh honey, it’s best for you to not go out there, I’ve toasted some bread, eat it before it gets cold. And honey, I’ll be late as usual, I got some work to do at uncle Aden’s office. Do take your pills once you’ve already taken your dinner. Without any second look or a word, I walked to my room with the toasted bread and the milk on the other hand. I’ve been living invisible for almost 5 years without anyone to talk to me, to share my thoughts or feelings. Dad said I’ve been imagining things after my mom’s departure but it’s not that, I have no one to talk to so I started talking to myself looking at the plain white wall and sometimes I’ll take a walk in the garden sometimes, roaming around the empty hall and rooms in the house or I’ll be sitting on the rooftop at night looking at the sky, the moon the bright shining stars. It sounds crazy but it makes me feel better. Dad feels it’s bizarre and I’m going out of my mind because he warns me every time to avoid doing a strange things, especially at night but I always disobey his words. He decided to take me to a psychiatrist. So I ended up taking pills but I knew I’m not going crazy. I know dad’s trying to help me but he’s not doing his best, all I needed was company to talk, a normal life, the freedom to choose what I want but he never thought about it because he’s always with his laptop and mostly at the office. One day, uncle Aden suggested father take me out for a vacation, thinking it would help me to feel better but I was unsure yet I agreed.
