Chapter 1
‘Hey wake up everybody. That brown-nose, Adam is trying to print again.’
‘Huh?’
‘What?’
‘Where?’
‘Ke? ’
Tuesday’s are not Karl’s favourite days. Monday’s actually are not that bad. A lot of people called in sick on a Monday, still drunk or hung-over from the weekend, but Tuesdays was that day were the sick, the lame, the lazy, the flu ridden or otherwise horrible humans had run out of excuses not to come to work. They all had to make an appearance, even if it was just to justify why they deserved to be on the payroll.
Karl is a copier / colour printer machine. He was bought 3 years ago when Butler & Co., a small law firm, was first starting out. Since then, it had been a bit of a roller-coaster ride until Jonathan Butler hired Jane. Jane became Jonathans PA, confidant, mistress….you get the picture. Jane had a boob job last year, going from a respectable ‘C’ cup to a voluptuous ‘DD’. Since then… no…actually since always, the boob job only immortalised his decision, Jane had been Karl’s favourite. Since Jane joined, business was up, revenues were up, and business was growing. A decision was taken to expand Karl. Donnie came along.
Donnie is a duplexing unit. They instantly became best pals when they discovered a mutual, undying love for Boobs. Needless to say, Jane became Donnie’s favourite too. Prior to Donnie arriving Karl had been a little lonely, with only that pompous water cooler, Wally, to talk to, and then only if Wally decided to climb down that perch he thought he belonged on, as he was clearly way more important than a simple copier / printer. Yes, at first it appeared that way, Wally was far more popular then Karl, he attracted far more ladies than Karl until business started to pick up, then the fabulous duo, along with duplex printing, became the rage of the office. Business continued to grow. Several months later, Maria joined the boys. She is a multi-tray paper feeder so now people could print A3 without having to load it manually. The trio was taking over the office.
Maria is heavy into shoes, jewellery and accessories, but her one and true passion is handbags. She always believed that all paper should be carried in a handbag. Jane also became Maria’s favourite, not because of the boob job but because Jonathan rewarded Jane’s ‘services’ with lavish gifts. Jane was always dressed to impress whilst Maria was easily impressed. As paperless started becoming all the rage in the office, the trio became a quartet, when Georgios joined them.
Georgios is a duplex scanner; he is Italian, full of flair but mostly just hot air. Moreover, he thinks he knows more about jewellery than Maria. It was a bit of a rocky start but soon Karl and Donnie got back to their boobies, Maria went back to her shoe and handbag fetish whilst Georgios did whatever Georgios did. The others never cared and subsequently ignored him.
Adam is an associate with an eye on becoming junior partner. He joined about 6 month ago. He was one of those real ‘go-getters’. Brown nosing and following Jonathan around the office like a puppy. The boys always wondered; if Jonathan had to stop and walk backward really fast, would Adam get stuck up Jonathan’s bum? Not knowing too much about human anatomy they hoped it would happen one day. In fact, they had a pool going that even Wally was part of. Actually, Wally had a drastic change of attitude after that Japanese double door fridge arrived with its cold water AND ice facilities. She was somewhat cool, but she was forever counting the calories of the stuff people used to bring for lunch. She got along better with the kettle. However, let us get back to Adam, and his print job.
As part of Adams efforts to be noticed by Jonathan, he took it upon himself to create weekly reports. These reports would highlight the individual lawyers within the company, along with their weekly billable hours. This was an attempt to show-off how many more hours more he was billing compared to the senior partners. What Adam did not know, was that many of the hours he and other associates spent on a case, will later be transferred to the senior partner in charge of the case. This would drastically increase the billings for the company. A senior partner’s time is charged back to the client at 4 times the rate, compared to Adams. It was simple economics, but as Adam was not aware of this, he also did not know how much of his own personal time he was in fact wasting on the reports which would ultimately end up with Sue, the shredder. However, the quartet was very much aware of this and disliked Adam for not only wasting his time but also waking them up an hour early. Maria needed her beauty sleep.
