Chapter 1 of terrible story telling
Jerd is dumb. He is also writing this book. So he or technically I will tell you this story of how I got some milk from the store.
So one morning I was eating my cereal and as everyone does I drank the leftover milk and then after I finished I wanted more and I drank my emergency 5 gallons of milk. After my milk rampage I realized I had no milk.
I knew that I had to go to the market and get the milk. So I grabbed my "fun" bag and headed on the 499 mile journey to the market.
My love of milk started when I was two when a cow laid next to me and 1 of its utters went in my mouth. At the time I was asleep and I also sucked my thumb so my brain subconsiously sucked it. Then when I woke up I felt extremely good. So that is where got my love of milk.
Back to my journey. My house is surrounded by mountains all very tall so I knew I had to grab some from my "fun" bag. As I dug around I was thinking about a delicious onion and yogurt sandwich and thing I was looking for fell out the bag down part of the mountain.
I was only 578 feet up but it still fell 396 feet down. So I had to climb down and retrieve it. As I climbed up I decided to test out my new item. That item being the the skobobalat. The skobobalat allows its user to turn anything into a capybara.
So I decided to turn the mountain into a capybara which worked but now I was 82 feet in the air. As I was falling I uses the skobobalat to turn air molecules into capybaras and create a huge pile beneath me to break my now only 5 foot drop onto capybaras.
As I climbed past all the capybaras I found an large toad about the size of a washing machine. It seemed to be chill but as I walked past he jumped after me. I tried to use my skobobalat but it was out of its daily charges. So I reached in my "fun" bag and grabbed a garppenplop. A garppenplop allows me to swap places with any living thing. So I used it to swap places with the capybara at the top of the pile. Then I swapped places with the toad.
Leaving the toad behind at the top of the pile I walked on and continued my quest. As I was walking through the desert right past the mountain I was just admiring the scenery and unintentionally walked into a sinkhole.