Forever Lonely
I’m a girl. I’m fifteen years old. I have a few friends, but they are not my best friends. They are my part-time friends. They are still friends though. Me and Cindy were best friends since we were six. Ah, memories...We used to run very fast almost catching the wind after school going home, go at each other’s sleepovers and even study together. We had rhyming names too! Mary-Cindy, get it?
But now, things have changed. No, I didn’t change at all. She did. We were both ten when this happened. You know, when we reached our age of puberty, hormones did their thing and made Cindy like the school’s bad boy. I warned her and told her that she’ll get into some big trouble, but she snapped, “You’re just jealous that he’s my future boyfriend and you’ve got a crush on him. You don’t even know girl code, duh!”
Then she started looking more like a women and found every thing of mine childish. Even my binoculars.
I told her then and there that I will never fall in love, at least till university. These people are just not my level. Also, what’s girl code? I have no clue. I’m just kidding, I’m not that dumb. But seriously? Why would I be jealous? And now that we’re not best friends anymore, I’m kind of happy that Cindy has a boyfriend, Lucas. At least, I have an option to leave Cindy at recess and go to the library.
The library is like the best place in the world. I’m fascinated by libraries ever since I was four and learned to read little poems. Our library is huge and fully air-conditioned. Also, Miss Laurence loves me! She is like a book doctor and she always prescribes me the best books for me. The library is also where I write my thoughts in my journal. You know, curious childish thoughts.
Sometimes I wonder, who am I narrating my life to? Will anyone even bother to know me? According to mum, I just need to find the right people, my people. According to me, I need to just find my clone.
A clone is basically a replica of you. A sheep called Dolly has once been cloned. But I’m not talking about that. I believe that there’s another Mary, desperately trying to find me. She is my age, too. I can hug her as well, if I ever find her in this life. Maybe I will find her in another world and not on earth, I don’t mind.
I’m fifteen, but not from the inside. The child inside me is so much louder than me, myself in a whole day at school. My curiosity is way more overwhelming right now than any other toddler.
