Chapter I: Kazz
It was storming. The whole of Othania shook like a stomping, violent beast. It was hard to hold things. Every time I thought I had just the right angle to pummel the stupid sword I was working on, the ground shook and threw me off balance. I swear it was an earthquake. I hoped the storm would let out soon. Every time it thundered, my hands shook really badly. This was no different.
I tossed the hammer to the side. “Screw it. I’m done for the day.”
My legs gave me grief. I’d been standing since morning and now the sun was going down. Maybe some blacksmiths have the stamina for this but not me. I wanted to lay down but I still technically had to be at the shop because I hadn’t made nearly enough to rest peacefully.
The table to my left looks nice to lean on. Sure, it isn’t the steadiest, but I only weigh forty-nine—
The table flew back alongside just about everything on top of it. I fell on the ground.
—Kilograms.
My back screamed at me, rightfully so. I should have known better. That table had been wobbling since I got it. Now I was covered in dirt and surrounded by tolls. Brushing the dust off my face, I saw a small box bounce off the table. It was my grandfather’s special box. He told me not to open it unless I absolutely had to. It apparently attracted bad luck or something. He told me that when I was, say, four? My old man gave me the box before completely disappearing and leaving me with this rugged, old blacksmith shop. I never did know what happened to him.
And up until now, I never cared about what was in the box.
I reached out my hand, yanked the old thing at gave it a good, hard look. It was golden with black and red gems lined all around it. It also had what look to be hinges on every corner, side, and face. A puzzle box? I never really paid much attention to it until now. My grandfather said bad luck and that was about it for me.
But something really made me wanna look closer. Maybe it was the grimy writing on it, repeating the word Koldryth. Whatever that meant. Or maybe it was all the fancy-ass gems welded onto it. No, maybe it was just because I had a knack looking into things I shouldn’t!
I turned the first corner.
Then the second.
As I tried turning the final hinge, this aching sense of foreboding kicked me, stopped me!
I heard footsteps running. I had to get up! Something was coming!
But it was just a customer. A weird customer because he was all dressed in wet, black robes and had a gargantuan stature on his back. But he was still a customer.
“Greetings.” He spoke in this nasally, raspy voice. A little high pitch. I could tell he was old from his voice and his shrimp-like posture. Maybe it was the big ole statue though. The figure on his back, also golden, was dripping some black fluid. The metal beast had a bunch of tentacles and a million eyes covering it. Weird, indeed. “I am in hurry and I think you have what I need, no?”
“We got it all! Axes, arcane focuses, hell, guns! Whatcha want?"
He pointed to me. No—he pointed to the puzzle box!
“See, I just wish to inspect that box of yours.”
My heart dropped and my brow jumped. “Excuse me? This isn’t for sale.”
“Oh no, not for me! I only wish to know its magical properties!”
His voice shook and rose.
“I guess I could check?” Right as I turned around to look for my arcane focus, the bastard reached over the counter and took the box! He then ran off with it! “Hey! Get your ass back here!” I started running! Running really fast cause if he took that box my grandfather would come down from heaven and kill me himself. I couldn’t shit on his treasure like that! “Come back! Hey, thief!”
He ran into the woods; I saw him! This creep, out of nowhere, just popped into the shop, lied to me, stole my puzzle box, and ran the hell off! Worst of all, this old man outran me?
“Guards, anyone! Help me!”
Of course, when a dashing young lady such as I calls for help, it’s only a matter of time before—
“Is something the matter?” A tall, anvil-shaped hunk of guy stepped over to me.
“Yes!” I wrang my hands. “This robed asshole stole my treasure!”
“Oh my. That is quite the matter! I’ll look around for him. In the meantime, you stay here. We wouldn’t want anyone else to go missing.”
“No, you idiot! We’re looking for him right now because I need that box back! God only knows what he’ll do with it! Probably sell it to some rich folk and then I really won’t get it back!”
“I can’t just leave patrol!”
“Then I’m going after him myself.” I started to walk off. If he wasn’t gonna help me, then I’d get it back alone. I’ve dealt with thieves before. I took a step away, then two. Though if I’m being honest, I hadn’t ever ventured into the woods. Not too big on wild animals. Something told me he’d change his mind.
“Okay! Alright! You win. I’ll help you look for him, but you owe me if I get kicked out of the guild.” I was right.
“Deal.” I faced him, putting my hand out to shake. “What’s your name?”
He shook my hand. “Drakel Han, you?”
“Kazzura Nahvra. Call me Kazz.”









Nice first chapter, it gets you right to the action. The only thing I could suggest (for presentation options) is organising better the dialogue. It would make reading going easier. :)
Thx for the tip Evina