What is your opinion?
Thanks for the nightmares
"Well, you did warn me. I'm surprised at the amount of awfulness you've managed to pack into such a short work, so good job I suppose? I found your writing style excellent, the writing was smooth and easy to read (grammatically and stylistically anyway). I noticed a few spelling errors, but nothing that really grabbed my attention enough to note down. The plot itself is a bit messy, and by that I mean I found the out of sequence nature of the story a bit jarring. We begin with Dr. Spitzer's side of the story, and then after he meets Celeste we jump into the backstory. When you finish with the backstory in "Ensnared", I found the pacing a bit off. You rush over Celeste's investigation and watching of Spitzer fairly quickly and jump into her ambush and Spitzer's counter-ambush. This is a fairly short book, and I think you would be better served by expanding on this aspect of it. There's a lot of potential in that storyline, and I feel as if it's wasted to a degree. Spitzer's escape raised a few questions for me in and of itself. How did he know Celeste would drink the water? Wasn't he restrained and locked in a cell? How did he get out? Maybe I simply missed something, if so I apologize. I noticed in "Homeward Bound" the line "They spent the night hugging each other on the bed" is placed after the line break, I think it should be before. Overall, I found the story very engaging, it drew me in from the beginning and held my interest until the end. You do a good job here of presenting the disturbing side of the story in a way that's extreme but not overwhelming to the point of being unreadable. My only complaint in that regard is the scene where Mark rescues Celeste, I found the sexual imagery there a bit over the top and unnecessary, especially because it continues over two chapters in a fairly short book. I may have some trouble sleeping tonight and for the foreseeable future, but I'm glad that I read this, I found it very engaging."
Really difficult subject, interesting writing
"This story is about a serial killer and his "victim". The theme was one that I enjoyed, being a fan of disturbing, realistic stories. This story shows the darkness that nests in all of us. Definitely not for the squimmish or the faint of heart. Technically, I would like to comment the following: I would love a little more description in some parts. I had this feelings that events were taking place pretty quickly (like Celeste's rescue) More psychological insight of the characters The text need a second time polishing for minor grammatical errors."
Very intriguing
"This was very interesting. After reading your preface, I decided that I wasn't going to read a whole lot of this story, but I wanted to try to give you some feedback on the first chapters. I really liked what I read. First of all, the quote that you put in the first chapter was really good! It was ominous and fitting for the story. Then, I really enjoyed the scene in the desert with the man and his family. You did a great job of setting the situation, and I was so sad when I realized that his kids had died. And then realizing that he was chained up...that was a good moment. I kind of wish that you would have expanded that part. I was curious to know what the place he was being kept in looked like, how he felt after the ordeal, if he wondered what had happened to his wife. That sort of thing. You could have poured some more emotion into that scene. After that, it was a little slow moving. I liked that you took the time to real flesh out your setting. You might have been able to do that through the eyes of a character to make it more interesting. I don't know exactly where the plot is going yet, but I'm thinking that maybe you could have worked that information in elsewhere? Like you could have interlaced it into the scene with Neil and into later scenes? I also really liked the scene with Neil. It was really well written and you did an amazing job of showing rather than telling. You do a great job of sinking your hooks into the reader and making them want to know more! This was really good so far. I like that you chose to use shorter chapters. It's very refreshing and gives the story a nice, snappy pace. The writing was simple yet descriptive. Great work! I would definitely read more by this author!"
