Chapter 1
Dear Diary,
Have you ever had that moment of clarity where it feels like everything that went wrong in life can be narrowed all the way down to one moment? One single moment that changes everything for the rest of your life? The catalyst for everything to come…. Well, I know where it all went wrong. I knew the exact moment everything fell apart for me.
3 years ago
I was on my way to my dad’s beautiful yet quaint little paradise in suburban Connecticut. He and my wicked stepmother moved here just over a year ago. Dad has worked hard all his life to provide for us in his fast paced and cut throat job as a stock broker. Last year, he retired and moved to the suburbs for the peace and quiet he desperately deserves.
He made an honest living to provide for my stepmother, Elizabeth, a socialite with entirely too much time on her hands, my spoiled rotten and self-centered stepsister, Blair, and of course me, Coraline, his only child. I love my father immensely, but I have never felt very comfortable around Elizabeth or Blair. I always feel as though I’m unwanted when they are around. They seem to want my father to themselves and are forced to share him with me. However, my father, James Edward Wilcox III, and I have a very close relationship. He’s my rock and protector, and for a long time after my mom passed away, we were a team. He worked constantly, but there was always time for me when I needed him. He has always put me first above everything else. Maybe that’s why Elizabeth and Blair both dislike me so much.
However, I couldn’t care less what those two prickly pears think of me. Elizabeth is beautiful, but it only goes skin deep. Everything on the inside is rotten, and unfortunately for Blair, the rotten apple didn’t fall too far from the tree. Both women have that classic New Yorker look about them. Sleek dark locks with big doe eyes and figures so slim that I’m sure that they scarcely eat at all. I couldn’t imagine. I’m quite the opposite really. I have a much more athletic build, and I’m a head taller than both Elizabeth and Blair at 5’8 but it doesn’t feel that way when I’m around them. They always seem to come together to cut me down to size. Starting with my unruly, curly blonde hair, my bland pale jade eyes, and then my lack of fashion sense.
Lucky for me, they won’t be here today. Dad called yesterday to say that the girls were going to the spa, and he wanted to know if I would like to drive out to the coast and drop a line in the water. I can’t tell you the last time dad called just to see if I wanted to go fishing. He must really be enjoying retirement. I know I’m 24 and by all accounts an adult in my own right, but I couldn’t help being excited to go fishing with my dad. Most of the invites I usually get are for some soiree that Elizabeth insists we all must attend. She is such a social climber, and I have never had any interest in trying to “marry up” or climb that social ladder. Probably another reason she doesn’t like me.
After pulling in the driveway, I walk up to dad’s two story slice of paradise. It’s nothing too ostentatious as that’s not my dad’s style. Not sure how he got Elizabeth to agree to any of it to be honest. She constantly complains of being in the burbs and how she misses the city and her friends. She’s been spending a lot of time in the city with Blair anyways, so I’m not sure why she’s so bothered.
Dad loves to be outside, and it shows. His lawn is in pristine condition, and I know he does the landscaping himself. Perfectly trimmed shrubs line the walkway up to the house with rose bushes on either side of the shaded front porch.
When I get to the front door, dad jerks it open before my knuckles even make contact. He wraps me up in a warm hug as though he hasn’t seen me in months when it’s only been a few weeks. But I take a moment to inhale the scents of home, of my father. He always smells like he’s been inside of a coffee house, but really it’s because of just how strong daddy dearest takes his coffee. Black of course, like me. But he does seem to carry a faint whiff of the peppermints he keeps on him for the strong coffee breath that lingers after.
“Hey Baby Girl. I’m so happy you could make it.” my dad says against the side of my head after he presses a kiss to my cheek.
“Of course Dad! I couldn’t wait to spend some time with you on the pier. It’s been too long.” I gush as I pull back from my father. He holds me out to get a good look at me. I notice that he looks a little slimmer than normal, and his face is ashen. When I get to his eyes, I see that they’ve misted over, and I know in my bones something is wrong. I have a knot twisting in my chest, but maybe he just isn’t feeling well.
“Dad, is everything alright? You seem upset.” I ask in a shaky voice.
“Well, my girl, I did have another reason why I asked you to come with me today, but we’ll worry about that when we get to the pier.” Dad responds after clearing his throat and blinking a few times. What the hell is going on? I think to myself.
“I have everything loaded in the truck. I was just waiting for you, Baby Girl. I’ve got some coffee brewed for you in the kitchen if you need a little rocket fuel to get you going.” he chuckles while turning away from me to make his way through the open living room to the kitchen. I’m too nervous now for coffee and know it will just give me the jitters, but I grab myself a cup anyways. Old habits die hard.
I open my mouth to ask dad again what’s going on, but he’s quick to cut me off, “How’re things at the shop?” he asks.
“Oh, don’t get me started.” I huff back then take a large gulp of my coffee. “I love my job. I love baking, but working for Charlie is the absolute worst. The bakery shop is small, but we could still drum up more business if we branched out and tried new things besides just the classics, you know? But Charlie says ‘If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.’ Well, there’s more out there than chocolate chip cookies and pie for God’s sake.” I exhale and throw my arms out.
Dad lets out a small chuckle. “Did you let him try your homemade coffee cakes? Those are my favorite Baby Girl. I wish I could have one every morning with my coffee.”
He has always been my biggest supporter, and I love him dearly for it. When I decided that I didn’t want to go to college and that I wanted to follow my passion and bake instead, my dad was proud of me that I found something I truly loved doing. My stepmother was less than impressed and made sure to tell me so. Blair thought that was exactly where I belonged, serving people.
“I did, Dad. But he’s so stuck in his ways. He’s had the same selection for years, and he’s not going to stick his neck out there with his shop just for me. Maybe I should just open my own bakery.” I say as I finish up my cup of coffee.
Dad takes the cup from my hands and turns to rinse it in the sink as he says “Maybe you should. I don’t see what’s stopping you. You still have your trust for your college education that you didn’t use. I don’t see why you haven’t touched it.”
I roll my eyes as dad takes my arm and starts leading me to the garage to get in the truck. “Dad, I’ve already told you, I don’t plan on using that money unless there’s an emergency or maybe if I ever get married you know I could use it for the wedding or something.”
As I open the truck door, I look over the roof of it and see straight into my father’s sad eyes. He gives me a half smile, shrugs and then slides in the car. I sit down into the seat, and he grabs my hand in his. I look up at him, and he softly says, “ Cora, you are absolutely beautiful inside and out. I know, because you look and act just as your mother did, and she was the most beautiful and kindest woman to ever grace this earth. Don’t sell yourself short. One day, some wonderful man will see you and not be able to take his eyes off of you just as I couldn’t with your mother. Then, you will dazzle him with warmth and wonder, and he’ll be hopelessly in love with you, my girl. You deserve nothing but the best that the world can offer. Don’t you ever forget it! Promise me.” he says while squeezing my hand tighter. His eyes mist up again as he whispers,”Promise me.”
I nod and my lip trembles as I whisper back, “I promise Daddy.” He wraps me in the warmest hug, and I can feel his bones shaking under my arms. What has gotten into him?
A short while later, we pulled up to the pier. Neither of us were very chatty on the drive. I hop out of the car to help my dad retrieve our poles and tackle from the truck. We’re using lures today so no live bait. As we walk to the end of the pier, I take a moment to breathe in the salty air. It’s pretty cloudy out today and it’s supposed to storm this afternoon, but we should be able to get a good couple hours in at least. I spin around to dad to ask which lure we’re using today, and I see him just looking at me like he’s taking it all in. Me, his surroundings, the feel of the air around him, and the look on his face is sending chills up my spine. The wind picks up, and it feels as though my breath is leaving my body. “What is going on Dad? Please tell me.” I say on an exhale of what feels like all the air I have left.
He walks up and puts his arms around me, pulls me close, and kisses the top of my head. “I have cancer, Baby Girl.” I think my heart stops beating. “I’ve been feeling unwell for a while now. One of the reasons why I went ahead and retired. I had the money saved up and figured it was the stress of the job. I started gardening and spending more time outdoors which did make me feel better. But then I just started feeling worse. I had some tests done but… it’s too far gone. It’s in my bones, honey. I should have said something sooner, but I was hopeful that the cancer would be treatable. Elizabeth said, “I shouldn’t worry you until I know for sure.” Of course I’m absolutely steaming that I wasn’t told about this sooner, but that is typical of Elizabeth to try and have me kept in the dark. My mind whirls with all the things we can do. Second opinions, radiation, chemo, other herbalistic type medicine. I’ll use that trust fund for the different doctors.
Dad must see all the thoughts flying through my mind as my lips tremble and my eyes fill with tears. “Now don’t do all that.” he says, brushing tears off my cheeks. “I’ve been to several different specialists and the best oncologist in New York. There’s not much they can do except chemo for comfort, but that stuff makes me miserable. I don’t want to spend my last days cooped up inside because I feel too bad to get out of bed. This is what I want. You’re my greatest accomplishment, Cora. I’ve never been more proud of the woman you are. I know this is going to be very hard for you, but know that I’m always here with you my sweet girl.”
A choked sob escapes my throat, and I grab my father, who pulls me into his chest. I sob until I can’t cry anymore. My eyes and throat burn, and I continue to hiccup into his chest as he strokes my back, telling me how strong I am and how proud he is of me. I think back to the day that changed my life forever and still regret that it was him who had to comfort me, when it was I who should have been comforting him. He was my rock, my protector, my hero. Now he’s gone.
