Chapter 1
Eloise
I have always hated the summertime. The heat turns my skin all hot and sweaty and it just makes the working days in the brothel feel longer than they actually are. Since learning how to write properly jenny and Clara my closest friends who work at the brothel house bought me this notebook. They said I could write in it anytime I was feeling down. Or happy or just wanted a way to escape this life. Though I know their are not my real family they are the closest I will every have to sisters .
Since I am a week away from turning 16, madam handfield told me I should be working for her as a whore by then. I made a deal that the day I found myself to be bleeding, that is the day I will be claimed as a woman as long as she got to chose, of course. I still feel too young for any of that. Not that any of the women here have a choice. My mother is always working and smoking and drinking. She does pull in a lot of the men from old Grundy’s pub across the street from the brothel. I think that is why the old woman tolerates me inside this hell hole.
When mother cannot afford to pay madam her percentage of her days earnings earnings I help out with maintenance of the interior for longer shifts. Assisting with cooking, cleaning and sewing the ladies dress back together when the mean old drunk men are more intolerant to clothing worn by whores. I know this is a brothel house but madam handfield calls it the company because working women keep gentleman’s company. I write all of this counting down the days to my 16th birthday. Madam handfield says she has a surprise for me. Though I told her I did not wish to make an effort for the ocassion myself she inissited that I would have a special day. Each month now she doesn’t let me wash unless one of the ladies are with me. This is to check I am not bleeding without telling her directly. Though I pride myself in not lying as I am told it is a sin. I am quite scared for the day to come. I do not wish for this life for myself. I do not wish for a man old enough to be my grand farther touch me in such a way that violates my body and then discards me like a used up rag. I know what men are like. I have always known what they are like from a young age working here.
Mother is in fact a whore and a very good one indeed. That is what she tells me anyway. She uses alcohol to make the men too tired to perform and when they awaken from their slumber, which is usually our room. she makes them pay before they leave. Silly old men always fall for her tricks, leaving somewhat satisfied, thinking they have done the deed with a keen whore. And trust me, when it comes to money and morals, she is very persuasive.
It is lessons in life as these that I am equipped for. as I am no use for anything else. Or at least, that is what mother says. I did not know my farther or other family as mother does not allow such questions. She smokes away our money when she can and brings us both in to further debt when she needs to have her drinks. I work to pay of some of the debts but it is no use. She will always be my gaurdian until madam handfield finds me acceptable enough to work off my new debt to her. Free lodging since I was a baby and food on top of that. I will be as old as madam before that is the case
