Kaltril was an old and wearied man; one of many tales and many mysteries. Children delighted to hear him speak for he shared these stories freely. He lived in Porta, a great city on the coast of Dimum and yet his tales reached even the furthest places of Finis which was on the other side of the world! His stories filled the listeners with delight but were not always cheerful, some were spooky, some were sad, and some were plainly preposterous.
It was a deep blue dusk, the clouds had moved over, and the sun had set, it was in snow times and Kaltril had his listeners. He sat in his rickety old armchair, fireside and warming his toes. The tavern was warm, the drink was good, and his beard was wet with droplets from his mug. There were the usual eager faces of the small children staring up at him, it was time for a tale and a good one too! He smiled and cleared his throat; it was time for his tale to begin. But what shall it be tonight? He had many old favourites he rattled off when he was tired, but tonight he wanted to try an old tale; a secret favourite of his but he told it, he had to keep some tales rare to hear. He put his mug on the table and took his feet off it and hummed as he done so – humming always jogged his memory.
“Now kids,” he said with a smile and a gleam of the fire in his eyes, “Time for a story, eh? Well old Kaltril has one for you, a rare treat. This story is called the banishing of the Pechnol. Now can anyone of you tell me what a Pechnol is?” He scanned the audience, knowing none of them would be able to answer his question. A voice from another table rose up however, a man sitting with a dark cloak on next to two of his friends.
“It is a sort of demon animal is it not? Or an animal which has been possessed?”
Kaltril smiled, he recognized the face of the man, he had been at many tales and may have been old enough to remember the tale. “It is indeed a demonic animal, an animal which, it is said, to be the body of an evil being. Yes, a Pechnol is evil indeed, but only one type of animal can become it, only one animal is ever known to be it.” Kaltril loved the suspense when telling stories. “On the eve of a double orange moon, it is said that the soul of an evil Fairy is released from its prison and flies about trying to find something to possess. But these Fairies cannot just infect any old beast, oh no. They create the Pechnol, a fearsome creature from a… pig!”
The children giggled when he finished his sentence. A pig? A pig? What is so scary about that? Old Kaltril smiled with a knowing sparkle in his eyes. “You may laugh of course, but the pig does not remain as it would normally be, it is tormented by this evil Fairy and its body changes. It grows tusks like swords, sticking out from its mouth; a thick brown hide on its back; its legs grow large with muscle; and its tail, its curly tail, well, that grows longer and far curlier!” There were some chuckles from the children in the audience as Kaltril described the Pechnol. “What is so scary about such a beast you wonder? It becomes twisted, the poor creature does not now like the peelings of carrots or of potatoes, it now craves for other things. Oh yes, it hunts in the quiet time before the cockerel calls to wake us up and so they can be a nuisance to the villages if they are not dealt with swiftly.”
He stopped talking and looked out of the window, staring up to the stars. The twinkling of them was reflected in his mug and within his eyes. “But what do they do?” a little voice said. Kaltril turned back to his audience as the little girl finished speaking. “What do they do?” He repeated, “Now that, Miss Koli, is a remarkably interesting question. Of course, tales tell of some things that they do. They steal buns from bakers; they steal the milk from babes; they steal the cheeses from the lords and even the seeds from the chickens! But they also sometimes steal people! Whip them off in the night, their tusks carry them after a spell of sleeping is put onto them. Oh yes, they can have the whole village in an uproar and out of their beds very quickly, which is why they need gone. And that is why I was called for. A little village, a good way from here, called Telwin was having some mighty trouble with not one but two Pechnols! They needed my help, and my help I gave them. The night I arrived was much like this night, clear, the clouds had gone, and the stars were out over the sky. But there were lights a plenty, candles, lanterns, and bonfires! Not one was unlit, they were on their fifth night from when the beasts first struck and now, they were missing two of their villagers. The first to disappear was Madam Novellin, the wife of the mayor who was out tending to her night lilies; the second was poor Master Illion, a small boy, the son of the blacksmith.”
Kaltril was getting into his stride now, the tavern was deathly silent as everyone was listening to his tale, even the old people who had heard before of this tale. But as it was seldom told, they needed a refresher. Even the creaky old tables, chairs and floor were silenced. Not even a sound could be heard from outside or upstairs. This was the way of the old tale master; he could command any room and make all pay attention. Especially those closest to him.
“It was a nasty business; people were running around like headless chickens, and they were squawking just like headed chickens. There were people prattling on about how their bread had gone, and others were moaning for their wood being burned and some were running about to make sure no one else had gone. But when they saw me, they all stopped, they knew that I was coming of course and so they all gathered around me. ‘So, where are the houses of those poor stolen people?’ I asked them and they led me first to the blacksmiths home and then to the mayor’s home. They were both on the eastern edge of the village. ‘Hmm’ I said ‘now I think that these beasties will have come to the closest houses they could get to’ I pointed then over to the east. ‘What be over there’ I asked them, ‘the river’ they replied. Well, I thought, the Pechnols cannot swim so they must have holes before the river. ‘Are there any trees or bushes over there?’ I asked. They told me there was and that they were too scared to venture there. ‘Pish posh, they are only two and how many are you? No, you do not need to be scared, they do not harm they are just to frighten. Bring me the mayor and the blacksmith and five more with the largest lanterns you have!’ They all set off, wandering about in different directions until all people and things were brought to me”
“Now with the mayor, the blacksmith and five people with the five biggest and brightest lanterns, but they were covered and darkened, and my trusty old stick, we walked out of the bright town over to the trees. ‘Hush now, no talking’ I said to them, although they were too scared to even whisper. We got to the edge of the trees, and we heard then the noise of a mighty rustling and rummaging in the leave littered ground and the noise of a deep grunting and of eating. The lanterns were swinging and the men shaking as I continued forward. I took a lantern and wandered into the midst of the Pechnols little dwelling. They had carved a small bowl within the wooded area and then dug two small caves into its side, within these now were the two people, still dreaming their Magick dreams. ‘Oi piggies!’ I shouted and banged my stick against a tree and unveiled my lanterns, the Pechnols grunted angrily and stared at me with their beady little eyes, ‘now I have your attention, why don’t you give us back those you stole?’ They seemed to then laugh at me with short snorts and little hisses. And then one of them spoke to me, spoke proper words if you can believe it! ‘And who are you, old man, to ask this and to call us names’ one of them said, in a breathy sort of voice. ‘Old? Who are you calling old?’ and as quick as a flash I bonked the Pechnol on its head, ‘and I call you piggies because that is what you are! Naughty little piggy thieves, stealing these people and food...’ Oh, they did not like that, oh no sir! The one which I hit with my trusty Gertrude, my stick, was in a rage, it pawed the ground as though it would charge at me and then it really did charge just like a bull, the other one was laughing still. I dragged my stick along the ground and then heaved it up and Gertrude let a storm of leaves fall, giving me cover to dart to one side. Crash! The Pechnol had ran straight into a large root of a tree and fell dazed back. The men looked down from over the bowl of the trees and sniggered at the beasts. ‘Piggies are no good at charging, you should stick to the lying down, that’s why you’re ever so tubby’ I said as I pointed Gertrude at the stomach of the laughing Pechnol, it laughed no longer.”
“With startling agility, it leapt up, all four legs propelling it into the sky. It jumped up to get me, but I was too quick for the fat little pig, and I slid under it as it jumped. But then it done something no fat piggy had ever done, instead of landing on its hooves or its back, this creature landed on its curly tail, and it launched it into a perfect backflip, right back to me! I was so started that I could only get away just in time. I looked at it and chuckled, ‘what sort of jump was that?’ and once again, Gertrude showed her wrath as I bonked this Pechnol on its head. The men watching the spectacle from the edge of the bowl were now laughing openly, first the hitting, the charging and now the summersaulting pig? It was more than they could handle, and they were crying out with mirth. The Pechnol scowled and then yawned deeply, I took my chance, and I stuck an apple into its mouth as quickly as I could. The men were starting to cry with their joy as the beast had been hushed by the apple and now looked like the pig you would see in a banquet. ‘If only you could eat these apples and not the whole villages cakes, then you wouldn’t be such a round piggie and maybe you could be a proper scary beastie’ and with a wide yawn, the loudest laughing yet and a poke on the nose from Gertrude the Pechnol fell and snored.”
The silence in the room was now gone, there were now laughs and smiles and giggles filling up the room as this old man told the incredible and nonsensical tale. But there was more to tell as he smiled and continued.
“Then the men came running down, their lanterns filling all the bowl with a great light, and we could now see the stolen people waking from their given dreams. The mayor and blacksmith rushed to them, while another spoke to me ‘so what do we do now? Wont they come back?’ ‘Oh yes’ said I ‘A sleeping, and insulted beast will always hunt for those who laughed at it. No, no, I will not leave it like this. There is an incredibly old cure of pig ailments you may know; you make a powder from the seeds of apples and add to it the fine powder of a Goshal stone and sprinkle it in its ear. Well, it is actually a cure for Pechnols, however it only forces out the Fairies and returns the pigs to normal. So, here is the plan….’ And I told them my plan for how to catch the Fairies, for they are Magick beings and cannot be caught with just a net. The men were positioned, and the mayor and I poured the cure into their ears. With a sneeze there were two glowing orange balls of light, they were the fairy souls, and they were not happy! But they could not harm us just by themselves, they needed other creatures to infect.” And as he told this, Kaltril’s mouth curled to a smirk. “And they thought they saw some, two shadowy pigs standing outside the light, and they zipped fast over to them and… bang! They hit into another large tree root. When dealing with Magick beings, you need Magick yourself, and although we had no spells, we had the Magick of illusion. On my asking, the men had cut some pig shapes in fabric and two held this in front of the lanterns and the shadows cast themselves onto the wall of the bowl. The Fairies were none the wiser! They were too angry to think and crashed into wall, and now lay dazed. The Men cheered and sang as the orange light of the fairies dimmed and became no more. They had returned to their prison for their evil hearts. We returned victorious to the town, and they celebrated long into the morning of the return of the stolen and of the possessed pigs, who were a bit shaken but oinked happily at being fed their proper food once more. Although when I asked for some cake, there was bitter news, the Pechnols had stolen it all! And alas, I had to turn down the lovely mud cake Master Illion had made as a thank you for his rescue!”
Kaltril finished his tale and there was much laughing and cheering and applause from his audience, and, as he often did, he stood up, took off his hat, and bowed deeply for them. All faces were joyous.
