0 chapters read
"Such a clever story. I really think this requires talent, and that's what you have. Everything about this story kept me wondering and curious. I think you've done a really good job here. Keep on writing!"
3 chapters read
"So to be honest the story is good. It has the thrill to make you want to read it more. You style is impressive. Although I don't know much about action and fantasy writing, I still liked the story. It just needs a little spice. First the synopsis and the cover. It's basically the first impression. I just dont feel like its from an author's pov. Like the first paragraph of the first chapter has this line 'this man had' which didn't really sit well with me as it could have been a bit better like 'he had' . Your Grammar is really good, so much better than mine. English not being my first language troubles me a lot. But it also makes me appreciate other writers who have really good Grammer. Overall love the story, keep on going. After all it's your first draft. ❤️❤️❤️"
10 chapters read
"Firstly, I'll start with something you're probably already aware of - the grammar and spelling needs work. I would download Grammarly, the free version would help you a lot. I think the plot is decent, but it's a trope I've seen a lot before in stories on this platform. I think it needs something to differentiate it from the rest. These plots are used a lot for a reason, becuase they work and so for that reason it is engaging, it just needs something extra to really set it apart - convince me why I should read your story instead of the other ones of this trope. The style is fairly good, in some areas the dialogue feels a little strange and unnatural, but I think someone pointed that out in the comments already (I would definitely follow the advice Eugene has commented, it's all things I agree with 100%) I think what you have done well is create a good character in Harry, he's very likable. Diana is likable as well, and I enjoy that she's not helpless like some female characters are made out to be - however, it is confusing when the title of the book is "Weak" and the female character doesn't reflect any of that? I would maybe workshop the title a bit (and change the cover so that it's not the same as your other book) I also think some of the chapters could be longer, either by consolidating two chapters into one or simply adding more detail/action to each chapter. The average chapter should be about 1000-2000 words (I think that's what Inkitt recommends as well) - I get the feeling that some of these chapters fall into that range, but some of them feel very short Overall, keep on trying - I think the first step is fixing the grammar and Grammarly would really help with that! Good lucky!"