For such a young writer as you, this is very impressive! The history, the story, everything. You're a very good writer now--keep going and you'll be an awesome one!
Read the story now
There were a lot of grammatical errors, however. For instance, not capitalizing "British" or "Jake" and there were some spelling and punctuation mistakes. These can be fixed very easily though!
I did wish there was a bit more dialogue--when characters speak, it makes the story come alive in some ways. Your descriptions of certain events are very well done. It would also be nice to give your characters a personality--tell us about their hobbies, their looks, their interests. That way the readers can imagine them more clearly.
Overall I loved reading it. It's so amazing to see so many young authors writing here. Take care and keep on writing!