svara_narasiah

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Potential

Okay, so:

Overall: The symbolism is good, and so is the writing. I like the way you explain things and though it isn't captivating or satisfactory it's fun to read.

Writing style: you need to work on flow. Let the writing flow from one sentence to another. Don’t repeat words or the same sentence.

Grammar: there are no spaces between your sentences which makes it hard to read and understand. Put spaces and it’ll be a much better read.

I’m giving you three stars overall because you have a lot of potential. Keep working and you’ll improve :)

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Overall Rating
Plot
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Grammar Punctuation

Gorgeous

(I know you've only written one chapter so far, but I can't help but write my review now)

This is definitely one of the most beautiful and descriptive things I've read, and I do read a lot. The writing flows and keeps the imagery alive, I absolutely cannot wait for the next part to come out. I really MUST know more about this emperor!!!

The only piece of critique I have is your "......" You should probably keep it at 3 dots each time, otherwise it's much too long and distracts from the writing (doesn't distract much, it's just a little thing) but that's all!

Keep writing and take care

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Overall Rating
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Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Beautiful

For such a young writer as you, this is very impressive! The history, the story, everything. You're a very good writer now--keep going and you'll be an awesome one!

There were a lot of grammatical errors, however. For instance, not capitalizing "British" or "Jake" and there were some spelling and punctuation mistakes. These can be fixed very easily though!

I did wish there was a bit more dialogue--when characters speak, it makes the story come alive in some ways. Your descriptions of certain events are very well done. It would also be nice to give your characters a personality--tell us about their hobbies, their looks, their interests. That way the readers can imagine them more clearly.

Overall I loved reading it. It's so amazing to see so many young authors writing here. Take care and keep on writing!

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Overall Rating
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Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Gorgeous

It’s just simply beautiful. The way you write and the way you can structure descriptions makes the story flow in a way that makes the reader breathless. I love the characters and the story so much, it’s definitely a favorite on Inkitt. There are a few slight punctuation mistakes, but it doesn’t distract from the story and they can be fixed easily. You’re a truly amazing writer and I can’t wait to see how everything plays out!

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