Terry Palmer

Secrets on the Wall

Thank you Lauren for this fantasy adventure. Your story unfolds well as do the characters. I think this will do well if your target group is teens or younger. Make sure to go back and fix the grammar errors, puncuation and etc. You seem to want to use descriptive narrative, but perhaps not at the start. Try again with some dialogue which will pull the reader into the story and keep then there. Good overall impression. You have the skill sets needed to become a great writer. I'll look forward to your next books. Author Terry Palmer