Great first chapter! You tell the story dramatically, but not overly and with just the right amount of words.. There is no cut in the action. I do wonder at the ladies male friend from the village, and what happened to him, but I suppose that will be revealed later. This seems like an epic in the making! Glad to have stumbled upon it on surprise story! Looking forward to your wars and adventure!Read the story now
Just finished chapter one. You have a very engaging first chapter. The reader is hooked by the mystery of Kira's mark and the fate of her village. There are hints of the society and magic of your world. I'd like to know what Kira's occupation is. As a writer, I might have developed the story and characters a bit before laying this bombshell of town annihilation. That way the reader might have more of a grasp of the town and its people and your characters, and more of an attachment to the story to fully appreciate the brunt of the devastation of the town. But, that's just my style, and not nearly as hooking at this delivery.
There is a lot of energy in your writing. The dialog is engaging and your style is descriptive. There are some switches in tenses and grammar/spelling errors, but I'm sure with a few read through's you can clean it up nice..
Excellent beginning! .
Chapter two was incredibly engaging! Its a great hook! No laps in the action. And you answered my question as to Kira's career. Great pacing! Keep it up!
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