Improvements needed
-I liked the story over all. -Your editing skills need improvement. There were sentences that didn't make sense because it looked like you started a thought and then changed it partway through the sentence. -You need to pick a tense and stay with it. Normally past tense is best because it come across as a story. -The main characters had no real relationship other than sex. He came across as a pervert/stalker that she kept running from. Then they suddenly loved each other. You spent so much time writing the sex part that you forgot to make their relationship grow. -I don't mean to come across as mean or harsh. This is purely constructive criticism.
Read the story nowGreat job!
You did a good job conveying the feelings and the growth of the characters. Keep up the good work! I'll keep my eyes open for more of your stories.
Read the story now