Uh hi there
I hope this comes as gently as possible as it is not my wish to discourage your endeavors or creativity.
Read the story now
There are a lot of grammatical errors, about approximately one every page. This makes it hard for me to truly enjoy the plot and get lost in the novel. There are issues in correct word usage, sentence structure, and other basic grammatical elements.
I honestly just reccomend reading more and taking notice of the language and how it naturally occurs as well as the usage of words. There are some stylistic elements that I simply would prefer, although pleasr don't feel the need to change to please me (literally one reader): you don't have to spell out everything to us, the reader. If Enzo is angry maybe try to describe his physical feelings instead of saying he is mad. Is his heart beating faster, blood rushing through his ears, does his field of vision narrow to his focus?
Thanks for recieving this. I wish you all the best