Crixi

Reforged

The author of this story has a vivid imagination. The characters and the world around them are intricately created, bringing the reader into the fantasy as it is being played out.
You start out waking up alongside a sleeping goddess as her awareness slowly materializes, and then you are thrust into the beginnings of a war between gods.
The chessboard of life is created in this book where you meet the characters who are unknowingly part of the game.
It will be interesting to see how the story unfolds in the next volume.
The concept of the story is excellent, but the writing style needs some work. The author tends to repeat a description in various different ways within the same paragraph, and the characters can be a little long winded.
Overall, Great work!
Happy writing!
Crixi

Sagittarius

So far, your story seems intriguing. There are only two chapters to base my opinion on your book. I can tell this book will go down a very dark path. What I feel is missing is a picture of the world around your MC. She turns out to be a demon, so is your world a magical world, or is it a mundane world.
I feel like your MC is starting off well. Mentally disabled people can be a bit chaotic. Add demon blood into the mix, and you have a recipe for disaster. You have portrayed that very well!

Happy writing
Crixi

flower on the riverbank

This story follows and battle worn general who finds an infant in a destroyed village. After the war the general keeps the girl and becomes her teacher until another war ensues. He tries to keep her hidden until he is bedridden and is forced to give his position to another, younger general. The younger general makes a connection with the girl, who is now and adult, and struggles with his feelings.
The Author painted a wonderful world and pulls the reader through the story in the young girl's P.O.V. The reader gets to experience her childhood, and I found myself reminiscing on times where I had similar experiences.
Tragedy makes it's claim and makes your heart bleed for the girl, but as with life, when one door closes, another door opens. The story continues on and brings a smile to your face.

The only recommendation I have is to create more of a dynamic between the characters. You tend to narrate the scene more than allowing the characters to experience it and allow the reader to see what is happening. The Showing vs Telling aspect changes later in the book and the story telling becomes incredible.

I enjoy this book and look forward to who your MC will choose as a companion.

The untold forest

I love happily ever afters and this book didn't disappoint.

There were some areas where large time gaps were made that I had a hard time following. There were other times I thought the story lacked some deeper emotions and richer backgrounds.
Overall, the story is a fun magical story that grabbed my attention after the second chapter.

great work on your story!

Nola & Duke

I loved this book. I loved the chemistry you created with the characters and the sweet ending. This is most definitely my kind of book.

That said, the only thing that bothered me was the time jumps. It took me a couple of paragraphs into the chapter to realize that weeks or months passed between chapters. I would recommend starting off the chapter by telling the reader that time had passed. You did that toward the last few chapters.

Great work!

Inherited Extinction 1 Adam

This story is a reverse of so many other romance novels written. In a world where extinction and survival are prominent, the males generally find a female of any species to procreate with. In this book, the females are the dominant gender, and they will do anything to get a male to help procreate.

The storyline is fantastic, although the execution needs a little work. You should add a little more details to your world and give Adam more of a child-like reaction to all the of the new things he is exposed to.
It isn't until he meets Celina that I realize the world doesn't have vehicles, and the villages seem old world. I would recommend creating a description of the world as Adam plans his escape from Gen-corp.

My other thought was Adam doesn't seem to acknowledge his surroundings or try to fight his way to Glasow to find Aaron. He seems to just go-with-the-flow.

I enjoyed the idea you have for the story, and your ability to create multiple characters with different personalities is good. It is hard to keep the personalities of each character separate.

I would also recommend going over your chapters and correct your punctuation. There are commas missing or misplaced, and some of the sentences needed a question mark instead of a period.

Keep up the good work!

Her Familiar Stranger

I like the story so far and the way the story flows. You have me grinning by the end of chapter four and wondering how Ceylan will react to the text message. Great job so far!

Brimstone

This book had a harry potter flair with a unique outlook on evil creatures such as demons, witches, and the like.
I had a lot of fun following the main character and her friends as they discover who they are. There were times I felt Kas should have known certain aspects of her world, and at other times she seemed to magically know how her powers worked.
This book kept me intrigued, and I love how the friends began opening up to each other in a trusting relationship, which is not typical with evil souls. I also loved that the characters all survived. I find it hard to read books where the author builds characters then destroy them.

Brave

I would like to give you credit for writing a story and making the MC the anti-typical hotshot writer tend to use. I love that you are using normal everyday individuals with normal everyday feelings and hardships. It brings light to the kids who are bullied. I loved that about this book. Despite all the negative appearances, the guy is human and has the same thoughts and emotions as the Hotshot guy.

With that said, I like the story, but I am a bit confused about how teenagers in your world are able to do just about anything they would like to do, like get married and fly off to a honeymoon in the middle of a school year.

I love how you did not end the book in a happily ever after and a tragedy for the MC. You showed that a marriage doesn't always turn out and you gave the ordinary guy a chance at redemption.

Keep up the good work!

Wolf Heart

I enjoyed this book and loved the happy ending. You did well with Steven and Cora's relationship. The only thing I would recommend is to give more details on Steven's struggles emotionally toward Cora. Show how he tries to resist the magnetic pull each time he in the same room. It will build more passion by the time they finally come together.

The mystery that is Cora and how everything was connected to her kept me going and wanting more.

Blood of Decepetion

This book is rich with different characters, and the dynamics between them are believable. I love the way you bring the reader into your world and make them apart of the story.

I found a few errors, but that is to be expected from any writer. I don't have any suggestions that could benefit your story.

Good job and keep writing!

Crixi

Love of My Life

Your book has everything a good romance story has. People like to see the hot and cold rollercoaster of a relationship. While the couple seems to begin to trust one another and become attracted, then some dramatic tragedy strikes and they have to start over.

The accent in your writing is a bit thick, I am not sure if that was intentional considering the culture the story is about.

Good job writing your story.

The only thing I would change is adding some descriptions about the world around your MC and the descriptions of the friends.

The up and down relationship has reached its max for me. By chapter 46, I would assume they would commit to their relationship. That is merely my opinion.

Happy Writing!
Crixi

Great Beginning

Calypso finds herself being sucked into what appears to be a royal coop. A little explanation of the details about your world would give a clearer picture about your world and how it is set up.
So far there are only four chapters, so I am giving you the benefit of the doubt.

The story sounds good so far and I am interested to see what happens next.

Happy writing!
Crixi

Well thought out

This is a story that seems to have been in the works for some time. If feels like you built a world and paid attention to the details to create a believable story.

I, personally, am not into reading books of war; however, this one is well done and can stand against other books or warfare in the fantasy realm.

I would suggest getting a friend to read over the chapters you have written so far. Every now and again your spelling or grammar slips up. I think this book is worth finding an editor and publisher.

Happy Writing!
Crixi

Blood Moon Rising

I like the loose, cheerful writing style that you have. I love the dynamic you created between the characters. The story is consistent, and I find myself discovering your world alongside the MC. I realized I was hooked to your book by the tenth chapter. I really want to see if Carter and Krystal will actually have a relationship, or if Carter is simply the ass that gets his family in trouble.

The only thing I see is every now and then your wording changes. A final edit is all this story needs.

Keep Writing
Crixi

Assassin's beast

There are lovely twists in this book and I am hoping for a happy ending. The boy finds himself and the girl finds her heart and together they find a life worth living.

But that is my hope.

There are some grammatical problems, but the story keeps thickening as you go along. I don't have any insight to improve on your story.

Happy writing!
Crixi

Impressed

I am delightedly surprised I like this story. The Sword Who Cuts the Heavens is not a genre I normally read or even watch on television. I love your writing style and how you pull the reader along with your characters. It is refreshing to know that ANYONE can read this. I am not familiar with the Japanese culture, but I am able to follow along and envision the environment because you explain what each item is. I will continue reading the second part of your series.

Great story

Your choice of words is poetic. You describe things in a way that seems to flow like a lover speaking to his mate. The genre is not my cup of tea and unfortunately, I didn't enjoy the book to continue with the story, but I can see how this story will be popular for the audience you want to target. Great work!
Happy writing!

Shocking

This story left me with my jaw unhinged and thirsty for more. It is like a horror scene you shouldn't look at, but you can't help but stare at it. I really hope you will write more of this story.

The plot and the storyline are excellent. The grammar and spelling are a bit off in some places, making it hard to understand what is taking place. I get this is a work in progress. I would encourage you to take the next step in publishing this book when you are finished.

Girl in Pain

The characters are beautifully written. I find myself immersed in the story and rooting for the heroin. I love the gentle soul you gave Cole and how he broke Oceana's vow of silence. There is healing from a deep wound. I am excited to see how the story ends.

Imaginative

I like how you chose to write an interpretation of the day-to-day life of a low income family. The story is depressing and insightful. It is not a story I typically read, however I cannot not leave Dave. The story pulls me along as Dave spirals deeper into depression. I keep wondering if something will inspire Dave to find his meaning in life of if he will finally exit the stage.
Over all, Exit Sign is not for everyone, but I appreciate the artwork. I will continue with Dave's journey until the end.
Happy Writing!

Sweet

Ceo falls head over heals for a assistant designer. both hero and heroine have a painfull past that they must overcome before acting ont he feelings theyn have for eachother.
Mathew is a goofball that kept me grinning while Sophia is a down to earth girl and loveable.
This was a good, safe read with a happy ending. Thank you for the warm fuzzy feelings.

Great Story

I love your imagination. You did well creating a plot and keeping mystery of who the hero truly is. I saw the growth in your writing which was a treat. Your chapters were too long and too discriptive. While the characters interacted you used "sigh" "aghm" in stead of "Sange sighed in frustaration" for example. I was a bit bothered by that, however later in the book, you stopped using those discriptions. Chapter 11 was an improvement from length and dialogue. I loved how you introduced each character and how you grew the bonds slowly. Over all the story has grown beautifully and I can't wait to see what happens next.

a twist to the apocalypse

I like the story. The story progresses very quickly with very little drama. The chapters do pull me along and keep me interested in what might happen next. The scripts need to be reviewed and edited. I will definitely keep reading the book. My only complaint is that the hero does not struggle much in the beginning. Perhaps create battle scenes from his home to the temple and how he survived the demon and zombie attacks. Overall I loved the twist you used to make a magical zombie apocalypse. It shows your imagination.
Good luck, and happy writing. Looking forward to more of the story!

Disturbingly erotic

I liked the story. I couldn't put it down. The writing style is a bit different for me, but it works for the purpose of telling the story. I got all the feelings. I was hurting for Elise, and mad at her for not fighting. I was a bit confused why dad was a loser and stayed out of his kid's business. The abuse is sickening and arousing at the same time. Great work. I am always a sap for a hero with the blazing glory of a God and rescues the maiden. I also like seeing the big strong dominate slowly soften to a cuddly puppy. I have a feeling the twins will soften up a little. Keep up the good work. Happy writing!