Lyssa M. Spade

I'm really searching for a beta audience for my writing. Check out my Tumblr and Tiktok for Character Aesthetics and story updates! @lyssa_spade_creations http://goth-mami-writer.tumblr.com

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Solid plot ideas minus some formatting that needs some review

Okay so I think I agree with some of the other reviews in that I think it's a little dialogue heavy. However you have really well rounded characters and you obviously have thought out how they fit into your plot.

The idea/originality is really cool. I like the idea, it's not something I've read a thousand times which I feel like is really important.

When you describe actions, maybe go a little more in depth. I remember a part reading "walked in like she owned the place" (paraphrasing) maybe unpack that a little bit and do a little more digging for a broader description.

Also, character thoughts, motives and backstories are a great way to avoid the dialogue heaviness. (I'm guilty for too much dialogue, you're not alone here) but the way over found to avoid it is through the above tricks.

Great writing! 👍

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar & Punctuation

Super intriguing and very well written.

Your descriptions are so vivid and I love it. It's a little dialogue heavy towards the end of chapter but I feel like it doesn't really take away from the action in the story. There's a lot of characters introduced in this first chapter and I'd love to read some more! 👍 Awesome job!

Read the story now

No reading lists yet

No badges received yet

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.