H.L. Johnson

OMG AMAZING 10/10

Lol I can review my own story this is great. Okay well FIRST of all: I’d my writing style is decent. Not perfect, but pretty tolerable. I’ve got the basic grammar stuff down. Have I mixed up countenance with continence before? Sure. But I personally believe that it’s just as important to understand a man’s expression as it is his ability to urinate at will. Let us move on to plot. Not gonna lie, the story is a TAD slow in the first few chapters, but I think things really pick up around chapter 3 and keep going strong from there. There’s some fun little magical mysteries floating around the place, and I’d say most people are curious to see where things go. Romance. Cute and sweet. Could do with more tension at first, but I felt like just keeping things cotton candy for a bit. Humor. Hit or miss. I have a weird sense of humor and sometimes people don’t even get my jokes 🥲 Lastly, characters. This is probably what I feel most personally proud of. I love my boys🥰 The Sons of Midnight are quirky and fun to write. Okay, well, I hope we can all agree that this was not TOO biased for someone rating their own story but OMG AMAZING I LOVE IT 10/10/10

Creative fantasy world

I enjoy the fantasy aspects of Xiaofan’s world. The world they live in is unique from other magical worlds I’ve read about before. The grammar can be a little distracting, but grammar is usually an easy fix. I recommend trying to write your story on Microsoft Word or Google Docs and use proofreading settings. One common thing I noticed was that punctuation marks were on the outside of quotations “like this”, when it should be “like this.” But again - an easy little fix! :) It was interesting to see how the story took from past, present, and even focused more on different characters here and there. Occasionally I struggled a bit to keep track of who/when the story was focusing on, so it might be nice to clarify that a little bit if possible. I did find myself wanting the story to move along a little faster. There was a lot of dialogue and description between the action and major plot points, although the core of the story works. All and all, a fun and creative read! I enjoy exploring the new worlds a writer can create in their mind. Hope some of this is helpful!

Darkly Fascinating

What a strange, twisted, fascinating story! So much mystery and intrigue all around. From the beginning, you’re immediately gripped by the mystery of the mirror. Somehow things only seem more tangled up and messy the more you know. I was very engaged at the beginning of the story and then even more engaged as events began taking place. There was a little part a few chapters in that I wished had more action, but things sure got interesting afterwards! There are quite a few little clues popping up in different places about the Island, the characters, and whatever strange phenomena is going on. It’ll be very interesting to see how everything connects and figure out what in the world is going on!

Intriguing

Pathak has developed her own unique writing style. I love the openings to each chapter - they read almost poetically. It lends a lot of drama and emotional tension to the story. The plot is developing at a good pace. It takes a lot of skill to know when to hold back information and when to give a little, and that's so important for any type of thriller or intrigue. It's just enough to make me have the right amount of questions. I want to know how their relationship started, why they married, how did his love develop for her, what is her secret? It's also very interesting to see the story from the husband's perspective. Generally, I'm used to reading stories like this from the wife's perspective. Seeing it from his perspective is new and makes the mystery that much deeper. There are a few grammatical errors here and there, mostly punctuation and syntax, but these could be fixed pretty easily. Overall, it is an engaging and mysterious novel. It will be interesting to see what happens next! Best wishes :)