I Hear You
To start off, I love the idea of the story and the main characters are good ones. I like their personalities and their relationships and all that stuff.
As far as writing goes, there are some issues. One is tense confusion. I think that it is primarily in present tense, but sometimes some past tense slips in there and it gets a little confusing for the reader. Second, there are some words that are switched around. Many times when it says "out," as in people being out or being outed, it says "oust." Sometimes, instead of saying "while" it says "well." There are other words confusions similar to that because the words are homophones and the writer just has the wrong spelling. There are also some awkward paragraph breaks that kind of ruin the flow of the story.
The plot is a little basic and predictable at some points, like every time the mean guy shows up, it gets a little worse and more information about Porter and Ryker has been discovered. Sometimes the dialogue and the characters' narration is a little too tell-y (as in more telling than showing) and I would like it if some of Ryker's past came up more organically instead of being shoved out into the open. Along the lines of dialogue, the dialogue tags are varied, but the variation is actually distracting at some points. As a reader, I would rather see something like. "'Why didn't you tell me that before?" he asked, his eyes searching mine." than something like "Why didn't you tell me that before? he demanded to know." It's nicer to be able to visualize what the character is doing rather than telling their verbal inflections with dialogue tag words like "state" and "demand" and "comment."
All of that being said, I did enjoy the book, and I'm glad it's not over yet!
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