LadyRowan

Potential But Needs Fleshing Out

Blood Moon follows an Alpha wolf named Sara for short. The book is written from her point of view giving us insight to her thoughts. Currently, the story is centered around her trying to save her friends from vampires that have infiltrated her area. These beings want Sara to find a wolf they've been looking for.

While the plot has potential, the story itself seems rushed. As a reader, I felt like I was missing descriptions of key elements that would make for a more cohesive story outline. In the second chapter, the main plot seemed to be Sara being bribed into finding a rogue wolf, but then we see Sara murdering a teenage boy, having the rogue wolf come to her apartment, getting bitten by a vampire, and more. We're still not entirely sure what the rogue wolf said to Sara in her apartment, just that she had turned her. I feel like there was more to that conversation we should know about.

The story seems to have a lot of side plots that are making the flow choppy. While side plots are okay, it shouldn't distract from the main points of the story. I almost feel like each chapter is a short story by itself.

The main character Sara is highly impulsive and seems to make poor decisions. It's a little unclear how she became the alpha when it looks like the only redeeming quality she has is being able to fight. This isn't a bad thing, but it makes it hard for me, personally, to relate to her. Even when she says she cares about her pack members, it's hard to see. Maybe the author can write in more of a connection between them so it's not as forgettable or left to the way side.

I do think the author is trying to set up a romance between Calyx and Sara. Everyone loves a romance, but the slow-burn thing isn't exactly happening for me. It seems a little awkward and disjointed because there's not even description and detail to have me invested in their romance. I think adding more description to the scenery, the action, the plot, and character development and dialogue would help immensely.

As for the grammar and writing style, there was a lot of repetition. AutoCrit is a great free tool that searches for repeated words. Grammarly and AutoCrit help with spelling and grammar as well. There were also instances where the protagonist broke the fourth wall, taking me out of the story.

The book has potential, but write now the way it's written seems like a very rough outline of events with little detail. Add more, and I think it could be great. Keep writing!

Thought Provoking

Your work is thought provoking, a trait I admire. I love reading poems that make one think about their own mortality and ideas about love and loss. I especially enjoyed your poem in the first chapter with the deadly sins. Your use of different writing styles and forms for each poem was refreshing and made it thoroughly enjoyable to read.

I also felt that a lot of the content you wrote about is relatable for a large audience. Thank you for sharing your work with all of us.

Up For The Challenge

I think this story has a lot of potential. The author sets up a large group of teenagers in an allegedly, haunted house were they are told by a mysterious voice that they'll be participating in games. The stakes - their lives. The plot of the book reminds me of the Saw series and a few other books and movies. I'd like to see how this story unfolds as we learn about each of the characters on this twisted ride.

From the description of the games the announcer gives in the book, it looks like the author gave us a road map to how and what kind of games are to be played. I like the fact the author chose old school games that most people know. However, I think it would've been cool to keep the readers guessing which games they were in the book. I don't think we would be guessing for long since they're recognizable games, but I'll have to wait and see how everything unfolds.

Fresh Plot Line

I honestly really enjoyed reading this story. It's vastly different from what I've seen done in other shifter romance novels and I'm digging it. The author has pieced together some of the traditional lore that we see from these stories with unique and interesting twists that have kept me coming back for more. I will certainly continue to read this story as the author updates it, because I need to know what's going to happen next!

Killian is the new Alpha of the Black Moon Pack and has recently found in mate in Helena of the Silver Moon Pack. Helena comes from a long line of wolves that are fierce warriors and healers. Their cultures are different from one another and they must learn to live together as mates to ally themselves against an on-growing threat from outsiders.

I think the plot of story is unique in that Helena and her pack are more beast than man, sharing many similarities with wolves in their human form such as color-blindness, strength, agility, and endurance. They're also extremely tall creatures making them physically different from the simple shifters of the Black Moon Pack.

I'm very glad the author chose to give us a slow-burn romance instead of something fast paced. When having characters immediately lust after each other, it comes off as being rather clunky without an emotional attachment between the characters. With this, the author shows us Killian and Helena's progression with their relationship instead of immediately jumping into lust.

I enjoyed the author's writing style and I like the pacing of the book so far. There were a few grammatical errors but they didn't detract from the story for me. It's nothing a little editing can't fix later on.

Good Realistic Story

I enjoyed the story. It was very grounded in reality and completely relatable. Mia is a very well developed character. I also enjoyed your writing style. The pacing and flow of the story is very good with minimal grammatical mistakes.

Eerie Mystery Short

I thought this was really interesting and I had a lot of questions at the end. I understand this is a short story and it's completed, but you should think about turning it into a novelette (40,000-60,000 words). The premise is quite intriguing since we have a group of friends and Richard is showing them this box he has out in the woods.

We don't know what's actually in the box, but we do know that there was a lot of blood. Human or animal, we don't know. That's what's eerie about it because it keeps us questioning what kind of horrors Richard is showing his friends and based on their reactions, it's not a good sign. Has Richard truly gone mad? Is he showing them a trophy from a victim? Has he murdered an innocent animal, the beginning of a serial killer?

I liked your writing style and your use of description. I would just suggest going back and doing a little editing since there were some sentences that were missing minor words. It'll help with the flow of the story but the pacing was decent. I'm glad you didn't drag on with your descriptions and you did more showing than telling. Good Job!

Impressive Vocabulary and Technique

I thought this was a uniquely written book in that it's written from a narrative perspective about the life of Elyren. From what I gathered, Varta is an Immortal, who chronicles the life of a human man by the name of Elyren who holds great power concerning magic.

The descriptions and imagery are well-written and generally easy to follow. From what I've read, there's not much dialogue currently in the book, but I assume that's due to world-building and catching the reader up to speed past Elyren's childhood and early adulthood to the 'meat' of the book.

There were certain points within the novel where I felt that Varta was speaking more about his own life instead of Elyren who is the title character. That's the only issue I would advice the author to be wary of when writing a narrative such as this. If this is, indeed, an account of Elyren's life then I don't particularly need to know too much about Varta outside of his encounters with Elyren.

The technical writing skills of the author is quite good. Some of the sentences could be rephrased to help with the flow of the novel and others are a little awkward, but overall, the writing is pretty grammatically sound. There isn't much distraction with errors.

Great Writing Style

I really liked the writing style of the author and I was pleased to see that it was written from third person instead of trying to keep up with all the points of view for each character. I feel that it made the story flow a lot better than what it would've if written a different way. It allows us to see all the characters at once and know their feelings during situations.

Kara is a well-written character that seems very mysterious. I want to know more about her like where she's going and where she came from and why she feels the need to move around so often. It makes for a compelling character with a lot of interesting history. I also like the fact that she's not a simple wolf shifter and that the author employs many different shifters in the book. With the shifter world expanding to different animals, I thought this was a nice reprieve.

The mate concept is a little predictable with any book about shifters at this point so I hope there's more conflict in the future between her and the mate she doesn't want. With the writing style so smooth, I'm expecting some original plot twists to maintain reader interest.

There were a few grammatical errors but nothing so distracting from the content of the book that made it difficult to read through. The pacing was also great within this book. Overall, I enjoyed reading it.

Creative with a Fantastic World

I thought the world within this story was very creative. The author talks about different Gods and Goddesses who have recreated the world of Barathorn after destroying its previous incarnation due to the greed and corruption of humans. They each bestow an unique gift upon the humans as they build the Second Age and watch over them as they build their civilizations and make families.

It's really interesting to see the rise of man from the eyes of the Gods and Goddesses. The author does a great job with describing them, their powers, and the realm in which they live. They also describe how they watch the humans and how they sometimes, interact with them.

It was almost like reading a book of mini-stories that explained how humans arose, how dogs became man's best friend, and how they help the humans flourish. It's quite endearing to see how well looked after some of the humans are and how they pop down in a disguise or in dreams to steer the direction of the world.

As the story unfolds, we start to see the rise of kingdoms and the beginnings of war. It's a great plot and very well-written keeping the reader captivated. The grammar is nearly perfect which keeps the reader from being distracted from the story. The pacing of the novel is quite good without being stagnant.

Overall, I truly enjoyed reading this book and I think others should check it out. I don't have much to critique besides the dialogue between characters being together in paragraphs instead of being separated in some areas. Other than that, the story is very smooth and I can't wait to read more!

Strength, Bravery, & Perseverance

The opening scenes of this book are so intense that it felt like I was actually there with Tawni. The story follows Tawni, a seemingly normal girl, who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. An active shooter arrives on the scene and while she is saving a little girl, she gets gunned down in the crossfire. Because of her bravery, the angels in heaven have decided that she may ascend to become one of them for the wars to come between good and evil.

I think the plot is fantastic and the description for the different realms of heaven is very in-depth allowing the reader to fully immerse themselves into the story. The depictions of the emotions occurring throughout the book with Tawni are spot on and are quite captivating. I am so pleased to see that the author uses dialogue to help explain the situation to Tawni and give the reader just enough insight to where any questions that arise are answered, at least the most pressing ones.

The pacing of the story is great with just enough action and dialogue to push the story forward so there's not a stale moment. This story is very well-written and it makes me happy to see an author who does some editing before publishing chapters. It helps to maintain the flow of the story without becoming too distracting.

I can't wait to learn more about this world and the realm of Makon. I'm also excited to see how Tawni changes mentally, emotionally, and physically throughout the book. She seems like a very strong female character that I can easily get behind and root for.

Unique Plot

I think this book has a lot of potential. The plot is very interesting since, from what I've read, Crescent is a very pretty girl who lives with her pack and catches the eye of her alphas - Alec and Xander (very witty names, I might add). Unfortunately, it's revealed that Alec and Xander, the alpha twins, are in fact mated to each other instead of being mated to her which is what they both truly wanted. Crescent turns 18 and at this point should've met her inner wolf spirit, but instead, it appears that she may never meet this side of herself if it even exists.

It's a pretty good twist on a werewolf novel that I haven't personally seen in other books which I think makes it extremely unique. I also think that having two alphas in the pack is an interesting concept and I want to know how that role, which usually belongs to an individual, is divided by the two. Will Alec and Xander be able to work together cohesively for the greater good of their pack? Or will they eventually become jealous of one another and seek to have their own power and thus their own identities separate from their twin counterparts?

These are just some questions that have crossed my mind while reading the book and sets up a dilemma that I hope the author addresses throughout the plot. Also, Crescent is coveted by most, if not all, the male wolves within her pack and others. Lucien is the beta of a neighboring pack that seeks out the hand of Crescent but I don't think that Crescent is actually his mate even though he attempts to force that role on to her by trying to mark her before she is saved by Xander. I'm assuming that there's about to be some serious wolf action to punish Lucien for his transgressions against Crescent.

Crescent seems to be a nice, kind-hearted character although I feel that the author should show us a little more about her. At this point, the only defining character trait is that she's stunningly beautiful. I want to know more about her heart and soul as a person. I understand that beauty can make anyone jealous such as Cassy, one of the female wolves, but I need to know other traits that make her special. It was revealed that she may not have a wolf spirit which made her a little more interesting.

I understand the author is not a native speaker of the English language so I'm not basing my overall review on any of the technical writing skills. I did have to place stars for that category and wanted to be honest, but like I said, it doesn't effect the overall star rating score.

I do want to see where this book is heading.

New Places, New Faces, & Coming of Age

I'm actually really enjoying this book! I think the plot is thickening at the right pace with just enough reveal to keep the reader interested in Sky's life. One of the burning questions is what really happened to her when she went to the club before heading off to college? Who is this ex-boyfriend of hers that her friend Lisa set her up with? How will her relationship with her roommate affect her life and experiences in college?

Right now, I'm equating it to a coming of age novel about a girl trying to discover herself in college without the distractions of her home life and past mistakes. She meets her roommate Nathalie and we can immediately tell they're polar opposites of each other. While they have similar interests with Sky liking art and Nathalie preferring music, the similarities sort of end there. It's like she's traded Lisa for another friend who honestly, is just like her old one.

Nathalie sounds like she's very free with herself and loves a good party whereas Sky prefers a more quiet, less complicated lifestyle. I foresee Nathalie getting Sky into some trouble along her college journey but I don't think it's meant as malicious intent. This creates a wonderful dynamic between the duo as well as adds to any drama that's bound to ensue.

Sky is a very likable and relatable character. She's obviously been through something traumatic although it hasn't been revealed quite yet what that was. Because of this, she's suspicious, a little hesitant, but overall, appears to be kind-hearted and knows how to stand her ground.

I thoroughly enjoyed the author's dialogue between the characters because it really showcased their differences and revealed to us a lot about their backstories. Dialogue is a very important tool for driving the plot forward within a book and the author does a great job utilizing it.

There were some misspellings and awkward sentence structures within the novel but that can all be fixed with the editing process. My review is more so based on the dynamics of the characters and my interest with the plot itself.

Mystery, Romance & The Mafia

Let's talk about the plot to this story. I think it's very creative and sets up a murder mystery alongside the romance that occurs in this book. Ella has been framed by her brother for the murder of their parents and must hide from the mafia lest they take her life. While in hiding, she meets the illustrious billionaire, Aiden who she works for as an assistant. It makes for a very intriguing book.

With that being said, I think the plot needs to be fleshed out a little. It all happens quite quickly for her - with getting the job, meeting Aiden, kissing him for the first time. This woman is not slowing down but the pacing is a little too fast for my taste. I want to get to know the characters so I can invest in their relationship with each other. At this point, Aiden barely knows anything about her and was kissing her by the fourth chapter I believe. This is more of a formula for an erotica rather than a romance.

Also, when the characters are relaying an internal struggle by showing their subconscious thoughts we're already inside their minds with the 1st person perspective. This just seems a little unnecessary and made me think, as a reader, that the characters were schizophrenic. When I realized this was a regular occurrence across multiple characters I understood what was happening. I think these subconscious thoughts should be taken out since they seem a little redundant. We already know what they're thinking because we're reading it from their POV.

I also think the author could be a little more descriptive about the scenery. We know Aiden has his own business but what does it do? We know her office is large but what makes it so special? We know Ella went out for drinks with friends, but what did the club look like? Were there a lot of people around, flashing lights, thumping music? These are all sensory descriptions that help the reader immerse themselves into their world.

The other issue was the grammar and writing style. The author flipped between past and present tense within the book that can be confusing. I find it best to stick with one form to make it more consistent and have a better flow. This makes the chapters and the book as a whole easier to read and more comprehensible. Also, there were a lot of grammatical mistakes but I know the author revealed they had a hard time trying to edit their work. But with that being said, these mistakes do detract from the story.

I'm giving this book a 3.5 stars (I rounded up to 4) because I was torn between the two ratings. While there's a lot of potential in this plot line, it needs to pack more deliverance for the audience by placing more sensory descriptions and improving with technical mistakes. Also the pacing is a little too fast not giving us much time to get to know these interesting characters.

Creative, Interesting & Action Packed

This is a very interesting story and I can't wait to see where the rest of it goes. Algea is the heroine of this tale who meets Seth, sent to her by her mother. I would say that he was sent to protect her but the truth is, we don't actually know the real reason yet. And neither does Algea. She just knows that she needs to protect him at all costs until she finds out what's so special about him.

This story features demigods, children who are descendants of Egyptian Gods and Goddesses. From what I've read so far, it sounds like they only inherit their powers or find out their true lineage after dying a mortal death. Once they've done this, they live for a very long time and are able to use their full powers. At least, that's my understanding so far...

While the demigod concept isn't new (we've seen it with Percy Jackson), I did think it was refreshing to learn about a different pantheon other than the Greeks. Egyptian mythology has always seemed a little darker in my opinion with many of their deities portrayed with animal heads. I'd like to see if the author uses this in the novel because that would be absolutely terrifying!

Algea is an interesting character herself, having come such a long way from her bloodthirsty past. Throughout the novel, we're shown how witty, smart, and kind she is, a stark contrast to the person she used to be as evidenced by the prologue of the book. Her commander, Enyo, is on the hunt for her as an enemy and I'd hate to see what they have in store for her if captured.

Seth, the boy who appeared saving her life, has a secret of his own behind his innocent existence. Portrayed as kind of like a sidekick or pet to Algea, they grow closer as they travel together to find Algea's teammates that Enyo has taken prisoner. The friendship that the author has created between the unlikely pair is adorable and very well written. I would love to see more dialogue and witty banter between the two as it helps the reader get to know the characters on a more intimate level.

I'm giving this book a 4 star review based on several factors. While I think the plot of the book is fascinating, I also don't think the reader has been given enough clues to piece it together. What I mean by that, is while a little mystery is great, a lot of it can frustrate you. Even the explanations Algea gives to Seth are extremely short. It raises more questions than it provides answers. For example: Why do they have to die a moral death first? Do they all know who their parents are? Or is that only revealed after dying? Are their powers reflective of their parents or are they a variant or completely different? Can they sense other demigods before they've died a mortal death? Can they be killed after their mortal death and if so, how? These are questions I feel like Seth would've wanted to know and as a reader, I'm dying to know.

The other reason is the dialogue. There needs to be more of it so the above mentioned questions can be answered within the book! I love the author's attention to descriptions with surroundings and actions, but I just need more background story at this point to help answer these questions. These are driving points that can really help develop the plot and keep the readers coming back. We just need to know the rules of this world that you've created.

Other than these recommendations, I would say the author has a decent grasp on the technical aspect of writing. There were some grammatical errors but not so many that they distracted from the flow of the book. The author also managed the pacing of the action very well.

Dark, Different, & Not For The Faint

Let me start my review by saying that I'm not accustomed to this style of erotica and therefore did not base my review solely on the plot. While I have read dark books before, this one takes the cake for me. While I'm not basing my overall review on the plot, I would like to speak on it since that's a crucial part to any novel.

Priya is a young woman who has been arranged to marry Ronak. While they are both attending a reception, Priya catches the eye of Aman Verma who immediately desires to have her as his. However, this feeling is far from mutual.

The Prologue of the book starts out by describing each character based on their personality and physique. It sets up the story by telling the reader what each character is doing. It reads kind of like the beginning of a play where scenes and characters are being described and continues on in this fashion throughout the novel. Because of this style, it makes it a little difficult to get into the characters minds because it feels as if we're an audience watching what happens versus being immersive within their world.

Aman is extremely abusive towards Priya, going so far as to pin her in an elevator and enter her bedroom to sexually abuse her. It almost plays out like a Beauty & The Beast concept except the Beast is much more wild and unbridled in his pursuits. While this is an excerpt from the book since the author is self-publishing, I'm assuming at some point Aman will actually rape Priya. At least, that's the vibe I got from this.

With that being said, I just want to reiterate that the author is very clear about the darkness of the novel. Dare, I say, it's devoid of all color, simply black. This novel is not one of love. I wouldn't even say, from the portion I read, that it's even intimate because that word implies there's a closeness and cozy nature between the two and currently, there is not. Aman is particularly damaged and raised the question of how he became that way considering he came from a humble beginning. Also, what makes Priya so special? I assume it is entirely based on her looks because he's not trying to get to know her as a person.

The only character I felt worse for besides Priya was Ronak. He seems like such a kind man and yet has no way of knowing any of this is going on. Priya must truly have cared for him to let him go based on the threats by Aman. I can imagine Priya being whisked away to some remote location just like the Beauty, never to see her family again.

With that being said, the author showcases Aman's rage and anger and Priya's fear accurately. However, the technical execution of the writing distracts from the thoughts and emotions being portrayed. There are many grammatical mistakes and the overuse of the ellipsis (...) is not needed in many places. I suggest the author use Grammerly or another free grammatical and spellchecker website. It helps to pinpoint mistakes and will help polish the manuscript a little better for readers so they can enjoy the crispness of the work without the distraction of mistakes.

I'm giving this book a 3 star review based on several factors. First, while I'm not basing this on the abuse within the plot, I will say the plot, in its current form resembles many others just darker. I feel like the author should do something to make it stand a part from all the other billionaire/alpha story lines to help give the book a refreshing twist on the genre. Also, currently, the writing feels like actions are being listed out in chronological order instead of being told to the reader in a more relatable and immersive way. We need to feel as if we're actually in the moment rather than just watching it happen. We have to be able to place ourselves in the characters of Priya and Aman for it to feel real giving us that sensual and desirable feeling found in erotica. The last part would be about the grammar, but the author can definitely edit that at any point.

Overall, I think with a few changes, the author has a promising career doing erotica for those who desire darker undertones to the work. It takes someone with a lot of courage to handle those types of situations.

A Dark Sultry Tale

Let me start by just saying I absolutely love witches and I enjoyed reading the author's concept of how witches act and live together in a close knit community among their family and elders. The author's writing style generally flows well and is definitely not lacking when it comes to description and imagery of scenery and the actions of the characters. While this helps establish the setting and the situations taking place, these descriptions do tend to become lengthy in certain areas where the action may seem a little stalled to get going. However, when the action (and the romance) does take place, the reader is transported to world within the author's mind that plays out almost like a motion picture.

Will is a completely lovable character. While he may seem rough around the edges, every girl secretly wants a Will in their life. The protagonist, Kelly, is a little less lovable but not in a bad way. It was easier to picture her child-like with a penchant for learning. SPOILER: She did progress more towards the middle of the book, growing more into a woman than how she started in the beginning. I hope to see her continue this character arc in the sequel. Jess was another character that stood out among them. I'd like to see a story just about him. Perhaps, a spinoff in the future.

I applaud the author's choices to not hold back on the graphic content of the violent scenes. They were simply traumatic in a VERY good way.

Fast Paced, Charming, and Dangerous

I like a good book with a fast paced plot and a lot of action. Damien and Destiny are the perfect characters and while Destiny doesn't say much while being mute, the author has done a good job fleshing out her thoughts to make us think she's said a lot. It's nice to see disabilities being normalized in a book. It makes it inclusive for readers.

Damien has a good story and makes way for potential to be the brooding hero. His flaws are very evident from the start but as the story progresses we're moved by his more vulnerable displays. The internal conflict is evident in his thoughts and words.

This is a story I recommend people to take a look at.

A Lot of Potential

My first thoughts while reading were in regards to the detail put into each chapter. While description is nice to have, there was a lot of it which made it a little exhausting to read. Much of the description was in thoughts, scenery, clothing, food, etc. While some of it pertained to the plot, a lot of it felt like filler that was unnecessary. Because of all the minute details fabricated throughout the story, it made the chapters incredibly long-winded. Don't forget to leave some of it to the imagination of the reader.

As for the plot of the story, I really enjoyed it. I love reading about elementals and such so this was right up my alley. I also thought the interaction between characters were good, although I would've liked more dialogue to balance out the descriptions.

I did notice you did a lot of telling and not showing. This was probably most evident when describing bedrooms and character traits. Instead of simply describing them in a paragraph, separate pieces of description out as they do things or speak. For example you could have a character brush a lock of frizzy, red hair out of their face with a sigh. That tells me about their hair, what they're doing, and that the character might possibly be frustrated about something - perhaps the impatient type.

There was also a lot of repeated words which felt a little redundant. Websites like AutoCrit help you remove those words or change them to similar ones. Grammarly is also helpful. I didn't see too many grammatical mistakes, just the repeated thoughts and words.

Overall, I think it has a lot of potential! Happy writing!

Interesting Take on Wolves

The storyline is very interesting and unique. It's quite different from other werewolf stories I've read, especially being set in the future. Ava, the main protagonist, is appealing. She seems very kind with a good heart - something I'm sure our wolf friend can sense. Thus, the reason for him allowing her to be near him.

The story is written from a third person present point of view. I'm not used to reading stories in present tense. However, there seemed to be certain points throughout the story where the tense flipped from the present to the past which upset the flow. There were also some areas for improvement to grammar and punctuation, especially in regards to dialogue. You could use editing services like grammarly or AutoCrit to help you with this.

Overall, I thought the plot was interesting and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work!

Relatable Relationship with Great Description

I think the story is very indicative of the frustration of couples all around the globe. This makes it easily relatable for most. We've all been there where we wished the other person would take initiative without being asked multiple times to pull their weight in the relationship. The plot follows Anna who is due to give birth in mere weeks and her partner, Sean. Sean seems to be more invested in his work - which may or may not be the only income supporting the both of them. While one slaves away over a job, the other is left to take care of the rest of the household while carrying a child.

This is something that is all too common. I like that the author shows the dynamics of the household and how each person feels to be doing their part. The argument over the dishes may seem trivial to some, but can be a downright catastrophic if this has been an on-going thing. Anna isn't upset about him not doing the dishes - she's upset about the fact she has to keep asking him to do basic things that affect everyone.

Sean, while trying to remain calm and understanding, completely misses the point. Anna isn't asking him to quit working. She's asking him to take more initiative in the relationship without her feeling the burden of being the "nagging wife." The author does a very good job with stirring these emotions within the reader.

While I think the plot is interesting, there were some issues with grammar. While many of the sentences are sentence fragments, which are completely acceptable, they seem to be missing small words. It does throw off the flow for the reader. Also, some of the sentences could be toned down for clarification. Instead of using flowery words, simple words may be better. I think a once over in grammarly or any editing website may help.

Overall, I enjoyed the tension of the story and the descriptive details that helped show what was happening throughout. Thank you for the enjoyable read!

Good Plot with Interesting Characters

I really like the plot of this story and I think the pacing of the book is great. Grace is a very determined and focused character with a plethora of skills that make her a fantastic predator to her prey. Although she can be cold at times considering human emotions are forbidden in her world, she has a witty and unique personality. She's very strong - definitely a character I can get behind. I also admire Hunter. While he has his flaws, I think he's relatable and seems to be protective when it comes to his friends and family.

There are a few things along the plotline of the story that can be expounded upon. I think the description of the action scenes are well written. I would like to see a little more of the compound Grace belongs to. I'm not exactly sure what it looks like. Does it look like an FBI training facility or more like an area with multiple buildings kind of like a college campus? Adding a little more description would help.

I did notice there were several instances when the author meant one thing but wrote a different word. I do this sometimes as well with my own writing. I would suggest going back and rereading it to catch those instances. There weren't a lot of grammatical mistakes, but a few rounds of editing should help correct the few I saw.

Overall, I'm thoroughly enjoying the story :)

Has Potential

I read over the story a few times because I had a really hard time getting into the novel itself. There are a lot of characters that seem to pop in and out of the story at random, and often, brief times that unfortunately, make them forgettable. Because of this, I had to stop and go back to see how the characters were related to each other as I kept getting confused of who was friends with who.

I think the concept of the plot is fairly interesting. I haven't read very many books where it starts off with a couple who has broken up and then finds themselves together again. I thought that was rather charming! I think the main characters, Aiden and Sasha, are likable and believable as far as young romances go. However, as I previously mentioned, there are a lot of side characters that don't add much to the plot line and I would even go as far as to say, they take away from the story. While it's good to show your characters have friends around, unless they're essential to driving the plot forward, I would suggest taking some of them away.

I think the story moves along at a good pace and I like the length of your chapters. However, some of your chapters frequently incorporate the "time lapse" technique when I think it would flow better to go throughout the character's day without employing it. Time lapsing can sometimes disrupt the flow by pulling the reader out of a scene abruptly.

I also noticed that at certain points, the story would switch between 1st and 3rd person which also caught me off guard, disrupting the flow. Be careful of this and try to keep it to one POV. Also, I saw places that could be improved where there was a lot of passive writing. For example, in one of the chapters you kept writing, "Sasha began to walk..." This is considered passive when you could simply say, "Sasha walked..." which is more active. There was slight repetitiveness in certain areas and a few other grammatical errors that can be rectified during the editing process. You could try using Grammarly or another editing tool to help you. I use Grammarly for my own writing.

I hope this review helps you!

Interesting Start, Needs More Background

Ashley is the protagonist of the story who upon her 13th birthday discovered that she had unique abilities unlike anything she had ever seen or known. Unfortunately, she's not exactly sure what she can do or how powerful she is or if she can even control them. While in school, she meets Lane who is struggling with the same thing she is. However, their personalities couldn't be any more different.

I think the premise is interesting but it should be fleshed out more. While the main characters are clueless, it also makes the reader feel the same way - I don't have any idea where this book is going. Within the first few chapters, I think there should be some clearly defined for the main characters such as trying to figure out how to activate their newfound abilities, learning a little bit about what they can do, and then trying to discover the reason they have them in the first place. Basically, they need a plan here to help the plot move along. They don't have to be friends and work together; they can certainly work on their own towards these goals since we can see from both their points of view. However, I think it would be cool to continue with their love/hate relationship they have going on here because it can lead to a lot of conflict/struggle between each other while they try to discover these ideas.

I think the pacing of the book is a little fast. I haven't, personally, been able to establish a connect with either of the main characters. I think a little more background information would really help with this as well as more detail with their scenery and their actions. This will also make your chapters longer too! :)

There were grammatical mistakes that would suggest using an online editing tool to help with such as Grammarly. There was a sentence that was especially long within the dialogue that turned into a whole paragraph that could be broken up. Longer sentences don't necessarily mean it's a good thing. Sometimes they can be convoluted with their meaning.

I hope this aids you with your future writing!

Charming Story

This book held my interest well. Elianna lives with her best friend, Lily, in their elven home. Lily's long-time friend, Ismael, comes to stay with their family from the Southern Kingdom to start a new life there. While Elianna is standoffish at first, she soon becomes closer with Ismael.

The story is very charming. I love that the author is taking time to develop Elianna and Ismael's relationship with one another instead of having them immediately attracted. It doesn't follow the mold of the same cliches we seem to experience when reading novels on budding romance.

While Elianna is uneasy around him, at first. We get to see how she moves from feeling uncomfortable, to feeling shy, to growing more confident. The writing flows very well and the pace of the book is good. The transitions between emotions is well-written.

There are certain points throughout the novel where the author flips from the ongoing 1st person narrative to a brief 3rd person narrative within the same chapter. I would recommend going back and making sure its all uniform in the 1st person narrative because this breaks the flow of the book and can distract readers. They're very brief transgressions that can be easily edited to continue on with the story.

Another thing, was that I understand the book is about elves. Their culture seems to be pretty mundane at the moment so I hope to read more about their culture and customs that may differ from our own. I would also like to know if there are elves then are their other creatures of note? Or is this strictly a kingdom of elves and nothing more? These are just a few questions I had while reading.

Fast Paced Twists

This was a quick and fast paced story that held my attention throughout. I loved the author's writing style and the cleverness of the jewel thief known as Vyper. The twists within the story are admirable and were highly entertaining!

There's an old saying that stealing cash is easy, but stealing jewels is personal.

Refreshing Meet-Cute

I'm basing my rating on the plot of the story without weighing too heavily the current grammatical issues. I understand that English is not everyone's first language on here and that some people write from their phone which makes it difficult to go back and reread over the story to look for mistakes. I do however, have to rate the technical writing skills individually.

With that being said, I think the author does a decent job of setting up the plot and having our two lovers have a meet-cute moment. Those are always the best in books and this one is pretty realistic. I also like the fact that the two characters aren't immediately attracted to each other with each of them meticulously describing every bulging muscle or sumptuous curve. It's refreshing!

I think the author has potential here with the plot. It just needs the editing to round it out and make it more cohesive with better flow. That will definitely improve the story even further.

Starstruck Lovers & War

I think there's a lot of potential with the plot of this story, considering that shifters are very in right now. I think it's cool that you have two unlikely mates in your story that are different species of shifters and they're at war. It gives off Romeo and Juliet vibes and I'd like to see how they make it work with each other.

I did notice the book is under the genre of action but I think it would fit better - and get more views - if it was placed under Fantasy/Erotica. You have a lot of explicit material so it should also be labeled for an 18+ age range.

You're use of description, especially in regards to the explicit scenes between the two main characters, is quite good. With a little editing for grammatical mistakes, it could really improve the flow of your book. You could try using the free online editing tool Grammarly to help you with this. I use it for my own books and I've found it to be pretty helpful. It even helps rephrase sentences for you with the upgraded version.

I thought it was neat that you had the two main characters partake in the throes of passion during the war. It kind of puts a spin on the phrase love and war. It was said in ancient times that men equated the thrills of war to that of sex.

I would like to get to know your characters more. Right now, there's not too much we know about either of them except their status within their groups. I'm hoping to see more of that later on in the book.

I also think that the POVs could be fleshed out. I wasn't sure exactly what was happening on the battlefield or where they were having all this sex at in relation to the war going on around them. More description and detail of their surroundings will help readers visual more of the concepts you're trying to portray. I recommend sticking to a certain POV as well. Right now, you have 1st person and 3rd person within the same novel which can take readers out of the story. I would either stick to 1st person with the viewpoint from Michael and Keira or create the whole novel in 3rd person. But that's just my opinion.

Great Start!

With the first chapter, I would like to read more of this book to see where it's going. I feel for the main character with the violence he endures from his father. It's quite gripping. Your use of detail is wonderful and I'm glad that you chose not to hold back because things like this do happen in real life. Not everything deserves to be a fade to black moment.

I didn't see a summary of the book and I wasn't sure if it was due to a glitch, but make sure for a book such as this, to add a summary and the age range for the novel, which is definitely 18+. Some readers may not want to read graphic violence and this helps them determine if the book is right for them.

Don't worry about your chapters being too long. Write them the way you want to. And if you ever think they're too long just remember that the average chapter length in Twilight from Stephenie Meyer was 4,500 words!

There were a few grammatical mistakes. The one that stuck out to me was where you wrote the word "are" and I think you meant to say "our." But other than that, they were pretty minimal. I would recommend rephrasing or restructuring a few sentences here and there to help with the flow. To help you find mistakes you could use an online editing tool such as Grammarly. I use it myself. Write on!

Interesting Plot and Concept

I think there's a lot of potential with this plot line! Max has taken a virus to keep away from potential enemies and goes back to find Kailey, his childhood friend for help. Kailey has been in love with Max for as long as she can remember even though they lost touch over the years.

This book is very interesting, but a little hard to follow. When I say that, I mean the flow of the story jumps around quite a bit making it difficult to get into and be immersive for the reader. The scenes seem to change drastically from one point to another and would do better with transitional phrases and sentences to help make the flow smooth.

I did like the fact that both Max and Kailey moved on with their lives outside of each other through marriages and children as described in the first parts of the book. While it's clear Kailey pines for Max as we can see through her thoughts, she did give it a good try without him. I admire that kind of stuff in stories where romance characters can be independent of each other.

There were grammatical mistakes that were distracting at points as a reader. With editing, this can all be fixed. I suggest using free online editing tools such as Grammarly. I use it for my own stories to help me out, because I always tend to miss things. Also, I would suggest a more conservative use of the exclamation mark. The reader can infer through your writing when a character is excited about things such as simply using the tagline, "she said excitedly." Exclamation points sometimes make it sound like the character is shouting when we know that's not the case. Seeing so many in a row was a little distracting from the plot of the story.

Overall, I think you have something here, it just needs to be cleaned up a little with editing, rephrasing sentences, and working on sentence structure so it's more coherent for the reader. I hope this helps!

Unique Story with Cool Characters

This was a really interesting read. One aspect that I really loved throughout the book was the relationship dynamics of all the characters. I loved how their parts in the story intertwined throughout the novel as a whole. If you create sidekicks and secondary characters then you should definitely use them and the author does a pretty decent job with doing that.

Meiyue is probably my favorite character. Not just because she's a princess but also because she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Her relationship with Yuzhe is really cute. This may be small, but I really love the fact the author kept mentioning her hair and the weight of it when she let it down. I could totally relate to this physical aspect of the character.

The author also did a good job with descriptions and details with the background and with the different characters. I liked the fact that the author didn't dwell on situations or feelings for very long, helping the plot move along at a decent pace. Sometimes, authors get so caught up on details that it takes forever to get through them, causing the reader to become bored rather quickly. I appreciated that the author didn't do this, so, the book held my interest.

There were a few grammatical mistakes but nothing too out there. Just the typical stuff like commas, or writing a different word when you mean another one. I do the same thing in my books as well. The good thing was that it wasn't distracting from the book and didn't severely impede the flow of the novel. Overall, I think it was a decent story, and one of the more unique ones I've read.

Strength, Bonds & Love

This book was truly fantastic from start to finish .It follows Steven and his werewolf pack under the rule of his sister, Jen, the Werewolf Queen. They set forth on a mission to retrieve the Magic Princess to gain her as leverage in the war between Werewolves and Magics over the land.

I enjoyed reading this story due to the author's writing style, flow, and pace of the overall novel. It didn't drag on like some stories I've read. The author does a fine job with balancing description of feelings and the setting with dialogue of the characters.

When reading any werewolf novel, I want to see the closeness of the pack, how they interact with each other. I expect them to joke around and be light-hearted while coming back to the seriousness of their reality and I think the author did a wonderful job describing that. I also liked that I got to glimpse the personal relationships between the members of the pack such as with Danny and Jason. It just made it feel more like an extended family rather than a group of sheep taking orders from someone.

Steven is a very admirable Alpha and I felt that his growth as a character was well defined. He started off as someone who didn't care for the title and followed his sister's orders, to finally becoming the Alpha his pack needed to be, separate from Jen. It was interesting to see his internal struggle when it came to Cora, the Magic Princess, a mate he didn't want but soon grew to love. At times, their interactions were unpredictable and sometimes, volatile, which I think is rather befitting of a wolf and their mate in the beginning.

Cora is a very kind and compassionate character, but often afraid of her power. I was pleased to see her embrace her powers towards the end but she didn't exactly embrace her position among her people. While she did choose to stay with them, I wanted her to announce it to all among cheers. I wanted her to solidify her position and feel worthy to lead them. They had faith in her; I wanted her to have faith in herself.

There were a few grammatical issues. One that stood out the most was using the word 'crashed' instead of 'crushed.' Also, there were a few scene changes that could've used a spacer between them to make it flow a little better. Other than that, the book as a whole is pristine.

Sweet & Heartwarming

Such a sweet, heartwarming story about the trials of pregnancy and becoming new parents. While I have never had any children of my own, I think that everyone can appreciate the honesty within the short story. I can imagine that pregnancy can be tough for some mothers and considering the mother, Anna, is new to this adventure, perhaps it's especially hard.

We see how frustrated she becomes with her husband who seems to be nonchalant about the situation and is angered by his passive role within the pregnancy. She also feels that he resents her for not being about to follow his dreams even though we're not quite sure what those dreams are and could possibly include her and his new child.

I thought the author used great descriptions when describing their emotional turmoil and the pain one endures with pregnancy. I also particularly liked the actions of the father when he sees his newborn for the first time and how this baby becomes the center of both their worlds causing them to forget and, to me, forgive any tension or anger they had previously.

Lots of Potential

So I want to be fair and honest while writing this review. I don't think it matters about the length of the book as long as everything is conveyed in a comprehensive way. Whenever I dive into a book, I always read the summary first. From the summary I got that this book was about a 19th century princess who is embroiled in a treacherous plot with her half-sister who covets her throne.

What I wasn't expecting while reading the book was that the princess, Elena was a werewolf or at least a hybrid of one since her half-sister kept referring to her as such. There wasn't any indication of this within the summary so I was very surprised that this was a part of the book. It almost felt like I was reading two different books when it was revealed that Elena had this ability and that the raiders she was with were from a werewolf pack. It just seemed a little left-field so I would suggest updating the summary of the book to indicate it also being a werewolf novel.

The other thing that I noticed was while the setting was supposed to be in the 19th century, there wasn't very much in the way of 19th century customs or speech. The characters spoke as if they were from this modern era by using words such as "bestie" and such. While this is typically fine, it does confuse readers and take them out of the world the author is trying to create and can sometimes be distracting.

Another part of the novel that seemed to be off, was the fact that Elena leaves the compound and goes out into the woods in military armor and murders members of the Monsoon Pack with silver tipped arrows. It wasn't really revealed why she did this and there weren't any repercussions to her actions which leaves one to wonder, shouldn't there be some sort of werewolf law that punishes those who kill their own kind? And where did Elena learn how to use a bow and arrow since this wouldn't be a skill usually becoming of a royal princess in that century unless we're given some backstory?

Also, after the attack by her half-sister, Elena awakens on the side of the road. This seems especially strange since it appeared that Chloe wanted her dead. I felt like she would've at least locked her within her own dungeon until she could be executed.

I do have a few suggestions that would most likely make the book a little longer such as giving us more backstory to Elena and her upbringing as a princess, adding more detail to her coronation and the attack by her half-sister, having Elena awaken in a dungeon and having to find a way to escape before she meets the raiders on the road, expounding upon her life with the raiders before her half-sister discovers her, and then giving her more intimate time with George to see how they fall in love.

George was an interesting character and it wasn't explained why he was at a different pack's stronghold. Was he sent out on a mission? Was he told to spy on them for his own pack because of a plot to take over? These are just a few questions that would make the story more enticing for the reader. It was just accepted that George was just there and happened to find Elena as his mate. Was it possible he was hunting nearby and caught her scent and just knew? There are just too many unanswered questions.

Also, how is Elena a werewolf? Was her father one? Her mother? If so, wouldn't werewolves be accepted into their society since she's a royal and heir to the throne? The readers need more explanations to why all this is so.

While I think the book has potential, it's lacking in explanations and moves very fast without helping us understand the situations that are unfolding. Why doesn't Elena go back and try to take back her kingdom? It just felt like she was content staying with the werewolf pack.

I think the story is going in many different directions without following through with the original plot line of the story. I thought Elena wanted to rule her country but then it changed..

I hope this helps the author in the future. I think the story has potential and just needs to be fleshed out better.

Plot Twists & Rebellion

I enjoyed reading this book. It was quite different from the others you'll find on this website as the plot had a unique twist at the end. It follows Sasha, a girl who has just moved to a new town and starts High School. She makes a few friends and is immediately warned to stay away from the alluring Dante, a demon who runs not just the school, but the entire town. Unfortunately for her, she doesn't heed this warning.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Sasha for the first half of the book is a likable character who seems to make friends easily with the outcasts of the school. There's Cathy, the skater tomboy. Makayla, the nerdy smart one. And Leroy, the lovable actor. She makes a great group of genuine friends but also attracts the attention of Dante, another social outcast because of his ancestry.

The reader is torn between feeling bad for Dante and despising him. He's a demon after all and is naturally untrustworthy to the people around him. We find out later that Sasha is a descendant of angels while her other friends have supernatural ancestry as well. It's later revealed that this aspect of Sasha is what attracts Dante.

I would've liked to have seen the author expound upon these ancestries a little further and explain how one discovers this side of themselves. I was also curious if they had any special powers because of it? How did the world they live in end up like this with demons and other creatures living together? Can demons go back and forth from Hell freely? These are just a few questions I had.

Dante gives Sasha a ring that she complies with wearing in fear that she may be killed by him - ironic. While she wears it, her friends and family continue to warn her about Dante but the ring slowly changes her personality where she instead becomes irrational with her logic towards him. She ends up rebelling against her family which I thought was symbolic of an angel falling from grace and rides off with Dante in the night.

I suppose Sasha had to make her choices willingly in order for him to take her power essence? That was a little unclear in the book because there were multiple times where Sasha was alone with him but he didn't harm her. Not until she willingly left with him that final night. That's another point that could be explained a little more - perhaps, giving us one final chapter where Dante is explaining all his plans to her and why right before the kill?

I thought the character development was good. As Sasha changes we begin to like her less and less. Her friend Cathy is particularly interesting being from a background of monster hunters. Cassidy, her step mother, was one of my favorite characters because she seemed to genuinely care about Sasha and what she thought of her. She was trying her hardest to get through to that girl and in the end I was hoping that she would, but alas.

Overall, I thought the book was very interesting and definitely was more characteristic of a demon than most others. There were a few grammatical and technical mistakes but overall it didn't detract from the novel itself.

Thanks for sharing your book!

Fresh Creatures & Interesting Concept

The book itself seems to have a steady flow but the pacing of the action is a little too slow in my opinion. There seems to be a lot going on but not enough of it is essential to the plot. This makes the story slow in areas but can be remedied by inputting more action or cutting down on material that doesn't drive the plot forward. This is especially evident in all the banter between characters in the fairy world in the 2nd chapter. While some of it is entertaining, much of it seems a little unnecessary and slows down the pacing of the book. I generally love the use of dialogue in books because it's a great tool to drive the plot forward by revealing secrets and can even be used in character development to accentuate personality traits. However, in this particular case, I found my mind wandering away from the novel while reading it.

The story flips between the fairy and human realms giving us insight into both their worlds and cultures. It sets up the backstory of the fairies nicely and how they came to live beside humans once the veil disappeared between the two realms.

In the fairy world, we're introduced to a lot of characters all at once who have extensive dialogue with each other. Unfortunately, much of this dialogue is mashed together in paragraphs where multiple people are speaking making it confusing to decipher who is saying which lines. It would be best to keep the dialogue of different speakers separate in their own paragraphs to avoid any confusion. Also, when there are so many characters in one setting, it's best to add taglines after or before their speaking parts such as "Lord Feather said, Aileen reiterated, Brigid declared, etc."

I think the plot of the story is interesting and I love that the author has taken some time to introduce a whole slew of different types of fairies instead of those that we tend to see more frequently in books about the Fae. It gives us something different and more exciting to look forward to.

Humorous, Witty, & Fun

One of the best books I've had the pleasure of reading on Inkitt so far! If anyone should be winning the mystery contest going on right now, it should be this one. This book is extremely well thought out with immaculate grammar. It's refreshing not having to sift through errors and misspellings to try and understand what the author is conveying to me, the reader.

The story follows Luke, one of the wittiest characters I've ever encountered. This book is chop full of great comebacks and one liners that had me rolling all night long as I read them. The material in this book is on level with comedians I've seen. While Luke may be a little behind the times, stuck in the 80s or 90s I'd say, he's a charming and humble character with just enough grit to be extremely likable.

The flow and pacing of the novel is good with just enough action to move the story forward without becoming stale. The plot certainly has me intrigued because there's so much that could happen with a murder-suicide case. I'm ready for more chapters to bring out all the gory details about the case and with the way the author writes, I don't feel like I'll be disappointed.

If you want to read a high quality book then I'd suggest reading this one. I was pleasantly surprised by the descriptions and dialogue within the novel. To me, dialogue is very important within a novel because that's where we get to really see the personalities of the characters shine through and it's also a great tool to reveal secrets. The banter between all the characters is humorous, witty, and makes for one hell of a book.

I can't wait to read more chapters!

Magic, Triumph, & Bravery

It was an absolute pleasure to read this novel. While I am patiently awaiting the next chapters to see how the story will continue to unfold, I must say that this work has entranced me. The writing style and pacing of the book are perfectly balanced and the author has taken extra care in editing to near perfection.

The story follows Luke Laisren who is an Agni mage with the ability to work with the fire element produced by manna. He's also special in that he is considered a seer, one who can identify the element and level of other mages by assessing their manna. This is a highly sought after trait being that it's rare within their world and he must keep his secret close at all costs.

While Luke possesses this unique ability, he has trouble controlling his own manna which produces weaker flames than his peers at the academy. He's friends with other mages who hold a higher status than himself but seems to fair okay within the academy given his level of expertise.

I particularly admire him as the protagonist of the story because he can relate to both those who come from more humble upbringings and those who hold higher ranks within his world. He seems to be compassionate and empathize with those lower than himself. In this world, they are known as Feebles. He has the potential to be a great hero who abhors the mistreatment of others and stands strong in the face of adversity.

The chapters are extremely well written leaving the reader little in the way of questions. I love an author who can build a world and answer most of the questions we, as the reader, may have within the story. We shouldn't have to be left guessing about the rules of a new, magical world and the author delivers on their promise to not just tell us about this world but actually takes the time to show us.

The descriptions of the setting and characters are breathtaking and easily allow us to immerse ourselves into the world of the mages and how they're trained. The plot did kind of remind me of a game I used to play called Magic. It used manna and the elements as well.

I can't wait to read more!

Cute, Sweet & Endearing

It's a very cute, sweet, and endearing story about the little adventures of everyday life with the person you love. Kimberly and Trevor are a sweet couple enjoying their Sunday morning when Kimberly notices the black tail of a cat passing through their humble abode. She takes off after the furry creature and cuts her arm without noticing. As this occurs, the darling banter between them ensues as Kimberly is more worried about the poor cat and Trevor is worried about the cut on Kimberly.

It was a very well-written and crafted story and really showcases their relationship with each other. I love that they are easily amused and care for each other. Humor is the best way to resolve issues and that they did! The adorable cat was returned to its rightful owner and all was restored. I secretly hopes Kimberly adopts a kitten in the future.

Fantastic Writing, Great Plot, & Lovable Characters

This is a fantastic book. The pace of the book flows extremely well and is perfectly balanced with suspense and action. The descriptions of the characters and setting are beautifully done creating a fully immersive atmosphere for the reader.

I literally couldn't stop reading this book because the author's writing style is right up my alley and has minimal grammatical errors. The plot of the book revolves around the family of a werewolf pack and their relationships to one another.

The author does an amazing job with portraying those emotions and relationships, especially through the scene of their parent's death and how the pack as a whole is connected to this incident. It really drew me in and I could feel their anguish at the untimely loss. It was nice to know that the other packs in the area sympathized with that loss as well. Even though they had their own territories they still showed a mutual respect for each other.

I also thought the author did a fantastic job with showing the story from multiple points of view with different characters within the family. We were able to see how multiple people handled the death of the alpha and luna, and we were given valuable insight into their lives. It made from a very compelling story. I will definitely be back to read more. Please keep us posted!

Mystifying, Magical, & Perilous

This book held my attention very well and I think it had wonderful scenery descriptions. Ivelle is a very relatable character. She seems quirky, fun, and intelligent. These are all the signs of a good protagonist for a novel. Cirillo is the mysterious, handsome figure that appears later on in the book. He later identifies himself as an elf from a mysterious world her parents once originated from.

The first thing I thought about from Cirillo's appearance was Lord of The Rings. His physical description sounds almost exactly like Legolas. While white hair is definitely on the ins right now, be wary of making your character too similar to another. Legolas and Cirillo are even the same species. You want your characters to be set apart from the all the others because that's what makes them unique.

I think the pacing of the story is pretty good. There are a few chapters where it feels like Ivelle is bouncing from place to place very quickly. I think it can be tweaked to have a smoother transition between these events so it doesn't disrupt the flow of the story.

I did notice quite a few spelling mistakes. Sometimes, it's best to read over your work a couple of times to catch them. You may also want to input your chapters into Grammarly (a free online spelling and grammar checker website) or into a word document first to help you identify any errors. This will help reduce those mistakes so they don't distract the reader from your story.

Overall, I'm interested to see where the story goes for Ivelle and I hope she finds her mother's killer(s). I also hope to see more of the background story with this magical world and how it came to be. Since the only way to reach it is by a portal, I assume it's a different universe with its own rules outside the laws of modern times of Ivelle's reality. I'm wondering if her research into Medieval Times will aid her on her journey with Cirillo.

Strength, Conviction & Perseverance

The writing structure of the author was the first thing to grab my attention. While there were a few misspellings and grammatical mistakes, it didn't distract from the content. I was surprised to see that the book is marked as complete. I was unsure if this was the full story or if there would be more. However, after reading it, the chapter seemed finite towards the end.

Also, I suggest creating a summary blurb for your story so your readers are aware of what your book is about. I always look for one so I know a little bit of what to expect to give me an idea of where the plot is going in general. It doesn't have to include every detail, just generalizations.

I enjoyed reading about Obinna and his commitment to doing what's right. Good for him for holding his own against a tyrant lecturer. Bribery is definitely not an admirable trait and I'm glad that justice was served although it didn't come until much later. I also admire the fact that even though he was expelled from the school, he still tried to pursue his dream by taking the other exams to enter a different school. Even in the face of adversity he chose to prevail rather than crumble beneath their feet. That's an extremely strong character attribute.

Fantastical, Magical, & Witty

The Relic Huntress is an intriguing story about a girl who as a child is trained alongside a group of individuals known as the relic hunters. Their purpose is to discover relics across the globe and retain them for their archives since most, if in the wrong hands, could be catastrophic for the people of the world. The story follows Leandra and her journey. She is a sharp, witty character who while remains serious about her mission can also be humorous, especially when she's talking to her kadra, Onyx.

I love reading books that know how to poke fun and joke around. Sometimes, fantasy novels are so serious that the characters become rather one dimensional in their conquests which in turn makes for a very boring read. However, I was pleasantly surprised that the characters throughout this book had fuller personalities to them that I, as a reader, could fully immerse myself into. The dialogue and banter between the characters made them seem more real and relatable for the average person making for a more pleasurable read.

Furthermore, the pace in a epic/high fantasy such as this one is very important to me personally. There have been fantasy books I've had to put down due to their monotonous and elongated descriptions about the setting, lands, rulers, all the way down to how the heroine's hair flows on a breeze. This one is certainly fast-paced with it's action - dare I say very fast. While the action is great, it's extremely brief leaving you with more questions about certain situations.

SPOILER - For example, when Leandra and Nik encounter an eel-like God while visiting the baths who reveals more about the creature behind the mountain door in her dreams. The creature's explanation is very sudden, surprisingly revealing, and without much pay off. It slithers back into its home leaving Nik and Leandra completely untouched and the two don't even really talk about it afterwards. I think this particular chapter could be expounded upon further by giving Nik and Leandra a challenge with the monster, or giving them more dialogue between the two since their dialogue (at this point in the story) is minimal at best.

The dialogue is my favorite part of any story because that's where we learn the most about characters such as their traits and flaws. And while the dialogue the book contains is great and on the right track, there's not much of it, sadly. Most of the dialogue occurs within Leandra's mind because of the first person point of view. And after Leandra finds her long last friend after 15 years, and journeying alongside him, I would've expected a little more dialogue between the pair. This could happen further along in the book. I'll have to just keep reading to find out since I'm currently on chapter 14.

The plot of the book makes for a fascinating one because the author has done so well developing the scenery and talks about the different relics Leandra has found in the past as well as the ones she learns about. With that being said, I'm not sure if this book is set in the past, the present, or the future. It's even possible it's a dystopian society. Without the use of electronics and guns and such things, I assume it's meant to be like a medieval period. I'm a sucker for dates though. Another explanation I would like to see is if magic is accepted throughout the realm as normal. For now, it seems like an everyday thing that people know about but rarely talk about.

The author's development of the world and its creatures impress me. The names of her characters are a dead giveaway for an epic fantasy and are just as one would expect. I hope to encounter more creatures as the book continues because I think they're among the more interesting attributes of the story. While descriptions remain brief about landscapes and our characters current locations, I would like to see more detail added to describing the monsters she encounters.

I'm giving this book an overall 5 star review based on these truths: Any book I will continue to read after giving a review is a good book in my opinion. The author's uniqueness and creativity within this fantasy world brings it to life for the reader. The author also, has good word flow with minimal grammatical mistakes - any author who edits their work obviously cares about it and their readers.

My only suggestions would be to have more dialogue between main characters, expound upon pertinent situations that occur within the chapters, add a little more description to places that are needed such as to characters and monsters, and if you haven't considered turning this into a series yet, please do. I would love to learn more about these relics throughout their lands and encounter more fantastical creatures.

Unique Story with a Strong Heroine

I absolutely love this story. It's uniqueness gives it a fresh and vibrant feel. If the Love Shack were a real place I would totally visit it. Avery is a very relatable and likeable character and has the scars to prove it. I can't wait for more of the book to be available and look forward to each chapter.

Lots of Potential

I this book has a lot of potential to be a good teen life/romance novel. However, the pacing is too fast for me to develop any sort of connection with the characters. The main character, Amelia, doesn't seem to ask too many questions or protest her living situation at all which doesn't quite add up to a realistic vision of a teenager going through a hard time. More character development would be a good start. As for the plot, I think it gives the author a lot to work with. The book just needs to set the right pace. It's not revealing enough as of yet. Please keep writing, and I suggest going back to add more content so we may know the characters better because I think you have a great plot going so far.

Interesting story

I thought this was a very interesting take on a fanfiction. It had a lot of the original plot but then also retained some of its own originality. I would've like to see a creation with this plot outside of Twilight. It's definitely a guilty pleasure to read.

Loved the Internal Struggle

I really want to see what happens later on because I thought it was very interesting. I liked seeing the internal struggle Renesmee was having with her feelings about Jacob. That's how I would've pictured it.