Infectious

It’s been 4 years, 2 months, 3 weeks, 4 days, and 11 hours. I’ve passed by the clock in the middle of the mall about a dozen times today. I would count the minutes but I figured the least I could do was keep myself from becoming tedious. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve been a passenger in my own body. The infection took over almost immediately, giving me just enough time to see Evie and Nick make it out of the fire exit before I found myself chasing after them.

I have to keep moving. If I don’t, I’ll end up like one of them. My skin will rot, my teeth will decay, my hair will disintegrate. Moving and feeding. Those are the two things I live by nowadays, if you can even call it that. I pass by the same storefronts—shoes, lingerie, children’s clothing. It takes approximately 2 hours to make a full circle inside the building when I’m at my leisurely pace. The mall seems smaller to me now after being inside it for so long.

The fire exits and metal cages keep us locked inside. They thought it would make the world a safer place, but all it did was make people feel more secure. They come here for shelter, for food, clothes, whatever they can get their hands on. I feel sorry for them. Gazelles crossing a river full of crocodiles. The defeated lie in the shadows of every corner and then there’s me. They may be able to escape the defeated, but they never make it past us. All we have to do is wait, conserve our energy. It never takes long.

I talk to myself for hours, replaying old memories, most of which have dissolved into a mixture of shapes and outlines of faces I used to know by heart. Now, I’m tortured by new memories, ones that would keep anyone up at night. It would bother me if I was allowed to sleep.

Sometimes I make up stories about the others, like where they’re from and what they were trying to buy when it happened. It was during the summer right before graduation for most. There were a lot of families in town visiting relatives and I can only assume one of them brought this plague with them. Or maybe it all started here and we’re the ones to blame. I’ve rehashed so many different scenarios trying to explain away our misfortune even though I know it’s no one’s fault.

Another one of us shambles by knocking over a potted plant perched on the edge of one of the fountains. The sound reverberates through the empty mall, startling a few of the defeated awake from their stagnant positions propped against walls. Their eyes flick open briefly, nostrils flaring, breath panting, before realizing there’s no fresh blood around and falling back into a stupor. I don’t think their bodies are whole enough to have the stamina to pursue our prey. I’d imagine their bodies collapsing, meat falling from limbs, congealed fat sloughing from their bones if they tried to leave their resting place. They’re the ones who were either injured beyond repair or simply didn’t make it to the meal table in time to keep their body going. With so many of us, it was bound to happen.

I try to sigh but my breath stays evenly paced, not needing to express emotion like I once did. I try to will myself to contort my face into a look of disgust as I pass by a defeated folded on the floor beside a tiled wall near the bathrooms. It doesn’t work. It never works. If only I could scrunch up my nose at the smell reeking from its pores.

His. I have to remind myself of this every time.

I’ve passed him thousands of times. I watched him give up over 2 years ago. It’s the only thing the virus will let us do. Walk, run, or stop. But once you stop, it’s over. There’s no getting back up. It simply eats you from the inside out because it has to feed somehow. I doubt he’s aware anymore. That must be a reprieve, something I’ve considered, but too stubborn to do. I’m not a stranger to the pain, but I couldn’t imagine the agony of having your insides deteriorate and not being able to scream.

I don’t even know if Evie and Nick are alive, but I can only hope. The world must’ve changed in these past 4 years. They must’ve found a vaccine or something to help us. Evie would’ve graduated high school by now and been done with college with how smart she was, is. Maybe Nick and I would’ve been married. Evie would’ve loved being my maid of honor...

Nick. I know he’d keep her safe for me. I wish I could remember his face, but I only remember the way he made me feel. Was it foolish to think I might see him again one day? He’s probably moved on, found someone to shack up with during the apocalypse, and thinks about me once a year on my birthday. He never forgot birthdays, even the one I created for my adopted cat. He was—is—perfect.

My body tensed, an impulse that only happened when it sensed something close, something unlike the others. I noticed a slight change to my gait which meant the virus inside me was recognizing the scent of game entering our territory. It smelled different every time, each human having a unique pheromone that penetrated through the putrid air. Something irresistible to the infected.

It had been almost two weeks since the last quarry passed through. They hadn’t lasted very long, quickly being cornered by four of us in the kitchen of the pizzeria in the food court. It was a blur of gnashing teeth and tearing of flesh, a pack of wolves taking down a doe and her fawn. I wanted to cry, to tell them to run, but it wouldn’t let me. I had to be the first to them, the fastest. It had to be me.

Too many people thought this place was safe, a haven from whatever lay outside. They’re wrong. They’re always wrong.

We’ve had a few get away in the past. More recently, we’ve all been agitated by an annoying lingering presence that none of us can seem to lock down. I’m starting to think whoever they are, they’re not exactly inside the main building, but down some corridors we can’t access or even outside, but close. Every time my body senses them, I’m in a constant state of attack. It’s exhausting physically even though I can’t do a damn thing about it.

My feet were carrying me now, joined by others at my side. Thank heavens I wasn’t in front this time. I never want to be first, but the virus chooses for me. I can see past our leaders about a hundred yards away, the front entrance to the mall where a woman is calmly rigging wires to the front gates, an odd thing to do with a horde of hungry beasts in pursuit. Something’s telling me this seems strange, but I can’t get myself to respond the way I want it to.

I hear a click before being blasted backward. My feet leave the ground as the force thrusts me into the side of the escalator before slumping onto the floor. There’s smoke and debris ablaze around me as my body doesn’t let me give up. My arms push me upwards to a standing position even though I can see the cuts left by shrapnel on myself. I can hear others joining me as a small canister lands in between myself and where the blast occurred. It hisses and spins around giving off blinding smoke making it difficult to see. The smell of old blood and rot is thick in the air making it hard to pinpoint a human target.

Shots ring out around me as I see my fellow comrades crumple to the ground. I can see the green lasers taking aim before dropping the infected one by one. I wish I could say I was afraid, but a part of me was ready to end this, to be free. My senses picked up on a human close by, forcing me to lunge in their direction. A sack made of chain mail draped over my head from behind before I could reach my target. I tried biting at the metal as firm hands grasped my arms and legs pinning me to the ground.

“Grab her!”

More shots rang in the distance as the sound of heavy boots rumbled past me. My arms were wrapped behind my back as I felt the bite of metal cut into my wrists. The same could be said for my ankles as I was lifted completely off the ground.

“She’s a fighter, this one.”

“Let’s get her back to the team. We’ll let Charlie and Hunter take care of the mall. This place should’ve been leveled a long time ago.”

My body writhed in their grasp. I could feel blood dripping down my hands as I tried to free myself from my binds. It hurt like hell, but I couldn’t make it stop. It wanted to feed and I could only oblige.

I felt the warmth of the sun as its rays passed through the links of metal over my face. It was the first time in years I had felt tingles move over my arms and down my spine. And I couldn’t even enjoy it as I struggled against my captors. The grip of the one near my head slipped, dropping me on the searing asphalt of the parking lot.

“Fucking grab her, man!”

Hands scooped me back up. I heard more gunshots in the background as I was flung onto a cool, smooth surface. I could hear doors closing as the floor bobbed up and down from the shift in weight of the men carrying me. A car—no, a van. One of them pulled me up to a sitting position. He unshackled the handcuffs and pinned my arms against the wall with the help of his teammate. I felt more cold metal close around my wrists as I leaned forward trying to get at them. My shoulders snapped as I felt them dislocate, the price of the virus trying to tear them apart.

“You think she’ll make it to the facility before ripping her arms off?”

“That’s why Marissa gave us this.”

There was a tiny prick in my shoulder and searing pain. My body stopped struggling against my cuffs, my head drooping towards the ground. The sound of an engine ignited as we jerked forward, the last sensation I felt before being pulled under in what was the first real sleep I’d had since becoming infected.