Nitharshana

superb

You way of describing things are looking great and keeping the readers intrigued at every chapter. Kudos to your writing style.. Hope I can learn from you.... All the very best...

good read

your writing style is too good. it looks like a standard one (I am little weak in writing like you). wow! The action you portrayed was amazing. Just wanted to tell you one thing. The one comment in get most of the time. "your story has lot of showing than telling." and when I read your story I experience the same way. to have a fluid conversation will make your story easy. And don't take me wrong. I am still trying to correct mine and am still learning on it. just wanted to tell you. other than that, great read.

plot was good

i guess you have a great creativity. But you just need to improve in writing. and that's it. you can become a great fiction writer. all the best.

improved

i could see some imprivements in this article when compared to Phantom. yet this needs more work to be done. Grammar still needs to be brushed up. avoid confusing with capital and small letters. And try to include more emotions in the story. express as much as you can.

a lot to fix

As it is your first story, its fine to make mistakes. This story needs more work to be done. check with punctuation and grammar part. I could see lot of spelling errors in your chapter. Do correct it. Tat's not actually a big deal. I guess you have a great story to narrate. But to present the story well, you need to improve with your grammar, spellings and much more. No worries... still you can give your best.. read a lot and lot and get some ideas. All the best for your next work.

Attractive

Lovely is all I can say about this collection of poems... Your rhyming style is great and drives the reader crazy... Keep going... All the very best

Neat....

I have to appreciate you for your writing style...and the story line you choose... I am drawn into your way of expressing the feelings... All the very best for this story... just need to work more in punctuation part.

heart touching

the poem is just wow. Simple, yet standard. your writing was too good unlike some poems that needs to be read again and again and finally left as it is without understanding the hidden meaning. yours is awesome. that's what i can say.

good try.

great story Nishi. But somethings need to be taken care of. like, spelling mistakes, grammar and more importantly punctuation. keeping the mistakes apart, regarding the story, it's really good. every chapter make me curious thinking, what will happen next. you can possibly add more emotions between them, how zach and mia feel. overall nice read. And all the best for the future works.

good

i really appreciate you for giving everyone the details of Indian marriage. That's interesting. the story is good. but you need to improve a lot in grammar. Tenses are more confused and punctuation are not much given importance. you can just improve a little while learning grammar. All the best.

confused

i still didn't gt a clear idea of what this story is about... i think you could very well develop the story and add many characters, dialogues and emotions. all the best. Hope you didn't take me wrong.

it is a extended blurb i could say

you have a great story. but the problem is... you don't have the idea how to develope it. Well.. read lot of books to get some ideas. you can very well write a novel from this plot.. just read a lot and try to write about the emotions, describe things and much more. All the best. Learn grammar a little and punctuation too needs some check.

Good read

Well. Here is a great plot. A totally different one.. Story that has something to do with mortals and immortals... A story that has so much info about souls and spirits.. Wow. Great creativity.. One thing I just wanna tell you is...you just need to make your sentence crisp and better than it is now. For ex.. Instead of saying i was just tired you said, i just was tired. Ofcourse it has the same meaning, but thats not the very right way to put it as. And keep an eye out for punctuations too. Many quotations are facing the wrong way, used capitals at the middle of the sentence, etc. Other than that it is a great read.. I love to see how it all ends finally... Keep it up.

Fine

plot is okay. But your story has lots of errors. keep an eye on punctuation and grammar. all the best.

Superb

A great creativity... And I loved it... Finally. If all these jungle incidents are just a dream... That would actually disappoint me.. Anyway.. Am waiting to read more. All the best with writing

Awesome

The pain Ceres goes through is really natural. And i am really sad for those who end up in hospital like this. hats off to your efforts. its actually a good read. Other than some grammatical issues, the author has a superb writing skill. grammar can be brushed any time soon. keep it up.

great

u made me laugh... and your title "Please invade my privacy" attracts me more than your experience. waiting for week 2

kind of intriguing

"What happens next? Will she find her father?" these are the questions that comes in my mind. Waiting for your updates