Full potential to be unleashed
Read the story now
-Paragraph spacing, so It wouldn't look too long reading it all.
-Grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes.
-Give more Descriptions, play with the words. Don't just say that straight out in your sentence. That'll help drastically.
-A revision would work this out. The Plot was good, the story was good flowing, but a revision of this right now is a must. I suggest you write again your chapters in an empty paper, only your plot points in your mind and don't mind the first one you did. After you finish constructing a new version of your chapters, compare what you just did to what you had published here. You'll see the changes(especially if you keep in mind these points I give)
-Proofread your work, track down those verbs ending with -ing and edit them(i.e., Running, walking) and delete those -ing's while reconstructing your sentences. (I.e. Running becomes Runs)
-Your story came monotonous to me, you might consider putting much Intensity that'll pluck the strings of curiosity. That'll will help you get more hooked readers to binge read.
P.S. This is constructive criticism, I just want to help you improve your book.
Other than those, this Book has a potential waiting for you to unveil, just bear in mind those few points I wrote in this review. I'll be looking back on this book soon again. Goodluck Author! Thumbs up for you!