Jason Kisner

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Plot
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Grammar Punctuation

Excellent start!

I have read up through the first chapter so far and I love the characters that have been introduced to the story. They are well developed and definitely have their own individual personalities. I only noticed one minor grammatical mistake, but I'd have to go back to read again to find where it was, but it was very minor. I look forward to reading more and definitely recommend this story as a good read.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

First Impression

My first impression after reading your prologue, which I agree is a little unnecessary, though entertaining because of it being with Russell Crowe's voice, is that you could really stand to proofread and edit a little more. I totally get that it's difficult to catch mistakes when it's your own work, but for me this has read like a rough draft rather than a final product. If you'd like someone to edit/proofread for you, I'd be glad to help you for sure; I've done it in the past for others and they have been pleased with my suggestions, even if they didn't always go with my minor changes. However, I think you have an awesome premise for the story so far and I'm looking forward to reading the rest very soon. Keep it up!

Jason

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