kuraireikan

Durham

Retired Gulf War vet. Writing and other arts are part of my recovery process.

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Lovely

Beautiful little slice of life piece about Wash's past. I especially felt the heart-ache of his thinking that he had no choice but to throw away his dream and how hard that made it for him to face his family.

I was also intrigued by the way you contrasted the detail you've sewn into his family life and the very generalized—almost non-existent—descriptions of the ships in the port with which he spends so much time, It's also very well done considering that about the only ship type we know of is the Firefly. There simply are no other descriptions to give.

PS. for the long dash: hold down the Alt key and use the number pad to type 0, 1, 5, 1.

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Nice work

Nicely done with the way River's mind works; the way in which her thoughts flow randomly. A few errors in grammar, though. Places where you're using there's instead of there are with plural subjects and a couple of punctuation problems were noticeable. Other than that, good story.

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This is exceptional.

I noticed only 3 typos throughout; two places where a word is missing and one missing comma (I shall leave you the joy of finding them, muwahahaha.)

Not only is this story well written but the idea is original and intriguing, making use of both Mr. Tudyk's work and life as an actor.

But I think what I like the most is that this does not become a deus ex machina. Thank you for not taking the easy way out.

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Very well done.

The characterization is excellent for everyone involved, even Badger. I love that River gets to reprise her role with him.

The plot was entertaining and stayed on track with not only the Christmas theme but a good, solid sub-plot.

There were a few minor typos; ex. a 'was' where there should have been a 'what' near the end. At one point you use the word 'kitchen' and then call it 'the galley' shortly thereafter. But none of these little typos and such detract in any way from the story as a whole.

Very entertaining. Thank you for a great read.

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