The negative pathway

It seems so rough and bumpy, the road and the pathway to success, it’s all so crooked. The roadside full of thorns and negativity. Everything feels so useless and dangerous. The path that seemed right ended up being dark. Growth and victory forgotten and forsaken, escape now the priority.

Escape from hell, the hell of a mountain of failures and rejection and abandonment.

Falling and rising like the value of Nigerian currency against US dollars.

Crawling and hopping just to get to the end , no longer caring about victory and success, I just want to be free, wish I hadn’t started this journey of hell.

Wish I didn’t decide to fail and get rejected every single attempt to succeed.

I stopped thinking about victory and trophy, I don’t want them no more. I’m gonna walk away from everything that I have attained, I am a failure already.

Who brags about victory and trophy when there are no recent achievements. Definitely not me, failure became my friend and confidante on this jrney I so much regret and detest.

Ending it all seems the best option, but will failure forget about me? Will rejection stop knocking on my door all day?

Then I found my niche in all of these things,I stopped getting overwhelmed by lot of things going on, I stopped entertaining distractions and anxiety. I shunned discrimination and insults, oppression and pressure.

Positivity came in.

I realized nothing was the failure. I was failure myself, always looking for escape where there is none, quitting when I should have continued, depressed when I should have shunned negativity, oppressed when I should have ignored distractions. Now I have to prove myself to myself and not to others.

All I needed was determination, dedication, consistency and resilience.

I just didn’t know how to combine all of these and work it out, but I know better now.

I am no longer afraid to make mistakes and embrace failure cos they gonna be my ladder to getting the trophy now.

No intimidation and no room for doubt.

Rejection, failure, discrimination, intimidation, pressure and what have you, have been,will be and forever be obstacles, but I have to experience all of these to know the worth what I’m in pursuit of.

I know the trophy is mine and I’m gonna get it

I am still on the way

The same crooked and bumpy road

But it’s better now.

I’m free.