Chapter 1
Best friends can be a hassle.
The sun Showen down on the asphalt jungle, and the streets bustled with people enjoying the spring air and warmer temperatures. The window at the coffee shop was like watching the world on T.V. I could sit there and watch as people went about their business, making it where I didn’t have to participate in life... but just watch it walk by.
My elbow dug into the hard plastic table, sending pins and needles up my arm, but that didn’t even get me to move. Instead, thoughts of things better left alone started to creep back into my mind before I took another sip of my coffee.
It had been a long night. Too many tears to count fell, and sleep was nowhere to be found until it was time for me to get up to bring me peace. The smell of coffee and soft music usually soothed me on bad nights, but it wasn’t working for me on this Saturday morning. So, I dunked my biscotti cookie into my chocolaty frothy drink, knowing that it was the last thing my butt needed, but took the bite anyways.
The book I had bought while thrifting sat on the table, staring at me. With a sigh, I picked it up again and started to read. It must have been the fourth time I had to read over the page when I put it back down and pushed it away. Deep books full of wisdom had never been my thing. Who said I wanted to get smarter? Being blissfully naive is what I did best in life. Or maybe it was stupidly naïve that would sum me up better. But all that didn’t matter anymore. I was where I was, and nothing would ever change that.
My hand slid across the table, picked the book back up, and took a sip of my coffee. “You are the one who wanted to get smarter, Joss, and you have to start somewhere. Who knows, maybe the fifth time will be the charm,” I whispered to myself.
The book had finally hooked me, and I was deep into it when a pair of hands were on my shoulders, making me jump. “Hey there, doodlebug, how’s it going?”
“Ava, you creep, you scared the crap out of me!” I huffed.
“What are best friends for if not to scare the crap out of you!” She laughed, putting her coffee on the table and pushing her long brown curly hair from her face. Her eyes washed over me, her lips puckered, and I knew what was coming.
“Joss, did you even bother to comb your hair before you came this morning? And that smell,”
“I don’t smell,” I grumped.
“Yes, you do. You smell like you have been rolling around in the sewer. Yun, would you please back me up on this,”
A small thin petite woman came around me in dazzling clothing, long straight black hair, dripping in gold, and sat down with her tea. “Ava is right, Joss. You look like you take no pride in your appearance at all. How will you ever find a man when you look like you’ve found your clothing on the street, haven’t washed in days, and smell like it?”
“For both of your information, these are clean clothes,” I argued but thought about it. “Well, they’re clean enough for meeting you two.”
“Joss, “Ava sighed as Yun rolled her eyes.
“I’m sorry that I’m not exotic like the two of you. I’m just, well, me.”
Ava shook her head, and Yun sat back, frowning. “You don’t have to be Italian or Korean to be attractive, Joss. Just be clean and not look like a bag lady.”
“Besides, you are exotic. Your father was Swedish,” Yun clarified.
“My father was, but my mother is a mutt,” I reminded her.
“Ugh, you’re impossible,” Ava sighed.
“It’s Saturday morning, and I didn’t get any sleep last night. So please, guys, cut me some slack,” I whispered, feeling my eyes water up.
“You haven’t been sleeping again?” Ava asked, but I saw her glance at Yun, who folded her arms.
“It’s not what you think,”
“Not what we think? It’s been two years since your divorce, doodlebug. Dylan has obviously moved on. Don’t you think it’s time for you to do the same?”
“Yeah, well, he didn’t ask me if I wanted to move on or not. He chose that path for me when he cheated on me and took our children with him when he left.”
“I know, and I get it,” Ava said.
“How could you? Every night when I talk to the girls, it breaks my heart, and then there’s Richy. He’s unhappy. I can hear in his voice how he hates Dylan's new wife. Can you imagine if Lorenzo kicked you out, replaced you, and took your kids on top of all that?”
“No, I can’t. I know I’m a lucky woman. But that doesn’t mean you have to stop living, either. Your children will always be yours, no matter what Dylan does.”
“You need to stop bitching about the same old shit, Joss,” Yun growled.
“What?”
“Yun, take it easy,” Ava growled back.
“No, look at me. I was married and did everything I was supposed to do to be a good wife. I cooked, cleaned, and sucked Han’s dick every night. Moaning and growning like he was some fantastic lover. Then the bastard threw me out on the streets! And let me tell you, he is awful in bed,”
“Yes, you’ve told us that before,” Ava sighed.
“My husband was sleeping with women in our bed, the bed we shared. The bed I went out and picked for our home. Then, not only did he take all the money, but he also cut up my credit cards, took my car, and took my name off all the banking accounts.” Yun hissed.
“Yes, I remember,” I said, watching the red flush across her face.
“But did I just sit back and take it up the ass like some crybaby? No, I got my ass out there and got back in the game. I went back to school, got a job, my own place, and started dating again. Now, I make more money than that asshole, and I screw all the fine-looking men I want and rub it in that bastard’s face.” Yun smirked.
“All that is true. But you should sit back and consider why you only get involved with married men? Some might say an underlying emotional issue is going on there,” Ava offered.
“I’m out there living life and Joss smells like she hasn’t showered in over a month and looks like shit!”
“Can the both of you just knock it off for one minute so I can tell you something?” I huffed, holding out my hands. Two sets of eyes stopped and looked at me. “Okay, well, I had an idea for starting my own business,”
“Really?” Ava smiled.
“When did this happen?” Yun inquired.
“Last night when I couldn’t sleep, actually.”
“So, what is it?”
“I thought about a painting company. You know, like going to people’s houses and painting murals on their walls. I had seen online that people make pretty good money doing it,”
“That’s awesome, Joss. I think you would be fabulous at it,” Ava beamed, taking my hand.
“That’s great, but what will you do for real money? You’ve never worked before in your life. You’ve been living off your settlement for two years now; the money will run out sooner or later.” Yun said, crossing her arms.
“I know, and that’s why I put an application at the library. I won’t be making much, but I will get out and get some work experience. And it will give me money to do what I love, paint.”
“I think that’s great! You’re getting yourself back out into the world,” Ava grinned.
“Why do you do that, Ava? Joss shouldn’t be getting some piss-ant job at a library. Or starting a career that will never bring in enough money to support herself. She should be going back to school and getting a job in nursing or something so she can make real money. How will she ever move up in the world if she doesn’t push herself?”
“Maybe she’d be happier doing a job she loves,” Ava offered.
“Nobody is happy when they can’t buy shit,” Yun retorted.
“When did you become such a cynic?”
“When my ex kicked my ass out the door and didn’t bother giving me a settlement to buy a swanky ass apartment like Dylan did for Joss. I had to build myself back up, and I didn’t have anyone to help me do it either!” Yun hissed, standing up, shoving her purse under her arm, and stomping out.
“Yes, you did. You lived with Joss and her family for two years!” Ave shouted.
I watched Yun’s long black hair sway behind her, never looking back at us. My hand rubbed over my forehead, staring down at the book on the table. “I don’t know why you wanted to pick a fight with her,”
“Sometimes she can be such a bitch,”
“She has a lot on her mind,”
“Like what, all the men that pass through her bed?”
“That’s not fair. You are pushing me to find someone, and I think Yun is trying to do that too. No matter what she says now, she loved Han. It broke her when he filed for divorce.”
“It’s been five years since her divorce,”
“I don’t think it matters how long ago it was for some people. It still hurts,”
“I know; it’s just that she has been so hard on you the last couple of years, and I don’t like it.”
“Yun just wants me to do better. That’s all,”
“Maybe so, but I don’t think she’s in a healthy place either, and then to go around telling you what to do?”
“Well, not all of us can have a gorgeous Italian for a husband who dotes on her every second of the day, can we.”
“No, but if you remember, I didn’t think of Lorenzo as anything more than a childhood friend for a very long time.”
“It’s so funny to think back and remember you coming home from vacation and showing me the photo of you two together in Italy. I could tell then he was head over heels for you, and you told me he was nothing more than a friend. Poor Lorenzo,” I smiled.
“Having a man wait for a woman is very healthy for a relationship,”
“I don’t know if ten years is healthy or not,”
“It’s healthy; believe me, I’m Italian." She winked. "My nonna was so pleased when I went home that summer, and Lorenzo took me on our first date,"
“Your families have a long history, don’t they?”
“Yes, the Colletti and the Di Gorgi have been family friends for over a hundred years,”
“That’s so cool. I wish I had something like that.”
“What are you talking about? You met Dylan when you were in tenth grade. If I remember correctly, it was love at first sight,” Ava laughed.
“Yes, it was, and look where that got me.”
“Don’t worry about it, doodlebug. Reeve is turning sixteen in a couple months, and then he can come and move in with you if he wants,”
“I suppose, but the girls,”
“Don’t worry about that either. You can always take the jerk back to court to see them more.”
“That cost money I don’t have,”
“Well, maybe you’re the next Von Goth,”
“Or maybe a Georgia O’Keeffe,”
“That too,” Ava laughed, and so did I. “Now, since Yun has left us this beautiful day, I say we should go out and buy you some career clothing for your new job,”
“I don’t know. My clothes are fine,”
“My darling Joss, you need a man, if for nothing more, to have sex with. Let’s start your new career off on the right foot at least by looking gorgeous,”
“I’m not interested in sex, Ava,”
"All women are interested in sex, Joss,"
"Can't I just go home if I promise to do a load of laundry?"
"No. How about the haircut and manicure is on me,”
“Fine,”
