Poorly Written

"I was expecting a lot from this flash fiction but ended up being sorely disappointed. It lacked energy, and had an almost soporific effect on me. The enigma of Zhu wasn't much of an enigma - he wasn't beautiful, and he wasn't witty. The space ride was poorly described, and I was left feeling completely not concerned with the narrator's emotions. The grammar and punctuation was plain awful, I have given zero stars. Please, this story should be extensively reviewed. There were certain redeeming aspects. The pace was good, and the short sentences and use of commas helped to give the right "feel" of it being a flash fiction. There was a lot of potential in the whole idea of being transported into another world when sleeping. It built on the idea we all cherish, one of controlling our lives. As Albus Dumbledore said "In dreams, we enter a world that is only our own". I also appreciated the dimension thrown in at the end, of where Zhu would go when sleeping. Perhaps his sleep leads him to the narrator? It was a good way to make a cyclic return to the core of the story - Zhu."