The Inevitable

the people places and events narrated in this story are purely fictional and any similarity is purely coincidental

Do lies and love go hand in hand,

aren’t we supposed to be honest with the people that we love

or do I not understand

just yesterday I felt like a child playing with sand and now

I have been upgraded to a stand full of sand and its choking me

Does love and lies go hand in hand

Or am I too young to understand. - kago

“WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG, THEY ASSUME YOU KNOW NOTHING:” TAYLOR SWIFT.

Avril, Avril…Avril!” did you call me just to stay silent, Catherine’s voice echoed through Avril’s speaker.

Now that she was really alone, in her car, on the open road, cruising, the weight of everything she heard the previous day, from her parents, was coming down on her. It was all making sense. Why she had been the way she was, why she possessed her fears. All of it was beginning to come together like small pieces of a puzzle, coming together to make a complete picture.

“yeah...umm…I think I have a flat tire. I have to go,”

And she hung up.

“AND MY DIARY IS FULL OF YOUR NAME ON EVERY PAGE” PINKPANTHERESS

“Luca, I just don’t understand why you insist on writing these letters with hopes that one day!... just one day she finds them! I don’t get it Luca! I really don’t” Samantha’s voice was now raised.

“babe I don’t need you to understand it!”

You… don’t! Lord help me, this man is going to kill me,” she whispered the last part in frustration.

Screaming and shouting was not Luca’s custom method of communication. The two had been married for four years now and despite how strong Samantha could come off, Luca always kept a level head. This was one of the traits that she both adored and sometimes hated about her husband.

“you literally see her everyday now! just tell her Luca”

“Samantha! I can’t! I just can’t ! okay! But I am going to need your support for this too” Luca contended.

There was a lull that followed Luca’s statement as they both took deep breaths in an attempt to calm down.

Luca took big steps aided by his long legs to Samantha who was standing still on the other side of the coach. When he reached her, he stared into her eyes. Not an angry stare, but a beautiful, meaningful and intentional stare.

“what is it?” Samantha attempted to conceal her blushing.

“you are kind of cute when you are upset,” he whispered as he gently grabbed her by the waist. Samantha pulled his face towards his and they were forehead to forehead. She let out a quick smile and closed her eyes.

“just tell her Luca, I am certain she has been looking for you too and you guys have a lot to talk about,” Samantha pleaded “just shut down your brain, don’t think, don’t obsess and just let your heart do the talking,” she concluded.

“all of that is only possible when I am writing,” he whispered “so I need you to just trust me okay,”

“okay,”

Luca planted a small kiss on her forehead and they hugged

Feelings that come back are feelings that never left

Does love change with seasons

Can feelings be deleted

Even in treason is it possible to find reasons to go back to the one that once made you feel completed

Does love require reason

Or does my sanity have to be beaten out to my brain for me to have it

Is it a disease?

And do we need a cure. - kago

“WHAT IS FEAR, WHEN NO ONE KNOWS, WHAT COMES NEXT”; JEREMY ZUCKER

Luca’s days were intensely organized. Deliberate planning went into each day with every hour being filled with a specific activity from sunrise to sundown. And no, this was not masking an obsessive-compulsive disorder of any kind or some form of neurodivergence. Luca enjoyed keeping busy. He also couldn’t sit still but that was a conversation for his wife, Samantha, and their therapist.

His days usually began early around 5am with a morning run that lasted thirty minutes. He would then shower and walk to the Altman’s, a coffee shop, five minutes away from their house to drink a black coffee with only two sugars while reading and responding to emails. Around 7:30 he would walk another ten minutes to Serenity University where he had now been teaching a class for two years now.

When it was lunch time Luca would head home to eat. Once he was done, he would go into his study and work on his research. In the evening he would spend time in his garden, tilling the soil, pruning and weeding the garden. It helped him relax and wind down from the intensity of teaching and writing research papers. Immediately before he went to sleep, he would spend time with his wife, Samantha.

Samantha found it both comical and insanely impressive how Luca was able to do the same thing every day without being bored out of his mind.

“hey babe,” she said one evening as she sat next to Luca who was reading some presidential autobiography that did not interest her a single bit.

“hey,” Luca smiled intently and closed his book placing it on the wooden table which was located in the center of their esthetically pleasing house. He focused his attention on his wife and asked her how her day was.

“it was alright, the cast had their first script reading today, next week filming will be starting,” she replied with a smile.

“I am proud of you Ms. Director,” he squeezed her hand gently.

“thanks, oh…Dr. Lim called, he said he has been trying to reach you…did you call him?” Samantha remembered.

“I’ll call him tomorrow,” Luca replied imperturbably while picking up his book.

The truth was Luca was intentionally avoiding calling Dr. Lim. Something about doing it scared him. Despite doing his best to maintain a healthy weight, reduce stress, eat healthy and exercise, he had not been feeling like himself lately. After much persuasion from his wife he finally decided to run tests and never returned to get the results.

“Luca?” Samantha said to her husband who was already subdued in the book he was reading.

“Hhmm?”

“you do know it’s probably nothing right? He just wants to give you your results,”

“I know,” he replied with a quick smile and continued reading his book.

“INNOCENCE AND SADNESS WAS A FINE LINE”- DERMONT KENNEDY

The sun was making an appearance in the early morning. Light made its way through the curtains in Avril’s fresh and inviting yet intimate one bedroomed, open plan apartment. As she slowly opened her eyes and light began to seep into them, she was met by a figure. A woman. A young woman.

“Cat?” she asked sleepily rubbing her eyes. After a few sleepovers Catherine magically had a key to her apartment. Avril didn’t ask questions.

“rise and shine daddy’s little princess!” Catherine proclaimed as she opened the blinds in the room. Avril groaned. Catherine was giant as compared to Avril who had a slimmer build. They were both tall though. Unlike Avril, Catherine didn’t keep her natural hair. She relaxed it and always wore it in long braids. Colorful, long braids were almost her signature look and whilst a thick and mostly unkempt afro became Avril’s. Catherine took large strides to the kitchen and began to make breakfast

“something came for you this morning,” Catherine pointed to an attractive package on the table. Avril took small strides in the direction of the package not knowing what to expect. Not really concealing her uncertainty, she tossed it and shook it, attempting to figure out what was in it.

“open it” Catherine urged her as she broke two eggs into the frying pan.

Meticulously, Avril unwrapped the package and lifted its contents to Catherine. “it’s a photo album?” she said with precariousness as she lifted it to Catherine.

Catherine continued to fry the eggs and later dished them into two white plates. She threw two slices of bread in each and a spoonful of beans.

Avril on the other hand was now seated on the couch looking at the photos in the album. It consisted mainly of her childhood photos. She became completely subdued in the moment as she looked at the pictures of the younger Avril who looked more trusting, definitely happier, freer spirited and more innocent.

“Yo, who’s this?” Catherine threw herself on the sofa next to Avril and pointed to a picture of a younger Avril with a young boy. He was dark skinned and had a scrawny physique. In the photograph they had their arms around each other and they both bore beaming smiles.

Hey honey none of this was your fault okay, Av…Av… can you hear me darling…Avril honey can you look at me, focus on me okay…Avril! Avril!

Babe, we need to get her out of here

Yeah, we probably should.

Avril stared at the photograph for a long period of time and tears began to fall down her cheeks from her eyes. She tried to stop them but failed terribly.

“I…I don’t know,” Avril finally admitted.

sometimes I wish you would stop hiding from me sometimes I wish I was the person you run to when you want to disappear sometimes i want to see you really cry or scream and almost everyday i wish you

“I HAD ALL THEN MOST OF YOU, SOME AND NOW NONE OF YOU” – LORD HURON

“it’s some kind of invitation to a charity event,” Samantha called out to Luca

“charity event?”

“yep… it says here that it’s a pool party, but I know you don’t do water so might as well trash it right?”

“yeah” Luca replied and then proceeded to bury his face in a book.

Samantha tossed the invitation in the trash can and proceeded to cut the vegetables for dinner.

Samantha understood Luca’s fear of water. This meant no swimming pools, no beach events or anything involving water. They had never really talked about the origins of his fear but she did know that it triggered the worst panic attacks for him.

Their relationship had been one built on trust and most importantly friendship. Having met only in their first year of university, with different interests and studying different programs they were a clear example of how opposites can come together beautifully to become one.

To love someone is to be accepting of all the parts that they give you and to a certain degree to be accepting of all that they don’t give you. It’s to understand that you can love someone with the few intricate details that you know about them. Understanding that even though it plays a significant role in shaping the person they currently are, your partners past is not nearly as important as the future you have together.

Samantha loved Luca and she understood that clearly.

“do you need help, Love?” Luca called out to Samantha with his face still buried in a book. Samantha paused to have a look at the kitchen counter and decided that she did need the assistance.

Luca gracefully placed his book on the table, and joined his wife in the kitchen. Luca began by boiling the pasta then washing the utensils that Samantha had already used.

“A wonderful fact to reflect to upon, that every living creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other…” Luca spoke after a long period of silence. Samantha placed the kitchen knife she was holding down and fixed her attention of Luca.

“that was Charles dickens,” Luca continued. Samantha bit her bottom lip and nodded.

“what does that mean Luca?” Samantha asked as she leaned on the counter with her body still facing him.

“I don’t know...i guess Dickens was trying to say that everyone is a mystery, you know, like each person remains inscrutable until the grave…”

“every person is a book, you can catch a glimpse of one or two pages but the rest of the book will always remain unread and hence unknown.” Samantha added softly.

Luca nodded.

“I know you there are parts of me that you will probably never…”

“babe it’s okay…” Samantha hushed him and planted a kiss on his cheek.

Sometimes the things you don’t know, don’t hurt you. Samantha believed that.

“I WISH I KNEW”; FOREST BLAKK

Avril groaned mournfully as her 6 :55 clock alarm sounded that morning. the amazing time she had the previous night was slowly being darkened by the hungover that was setting in.

“Good morning sunshine!” Catherine exclaimed as she drew the curtains apart.

“seriously, cat? This can’t become a habit.”

“what can’t be a habit?” Catherine pretentiously asked the Avril.

“you know what I am talking about, you being here in my house every morning,” Avril dragged herself out of bed and went to the kitchen to drink water.

She was not a tiny bit staggered by how energetic Catherine was even after a night out. Partying was pretty much her forte, amongst other things of course.

“my head hurts,” Avril managed to let out. “I know honey,” Catherine replied sympathetically as she handed her a glass of water.

Avril left Catherine in the living room to take a shower.

Catherine walked in the living room looking at framed photographs of Avril and her family as if she had never seen them before. As she was taking in the photography, her eyes landed on the photo album that was delivered a few days ago.

Reluctantly, she opened it and went through the photographs of baby Avril. There was a brightness in baby Avril’s eyes that clearly did not exist now. Catherine bit her bottom lip and squinted her eyes as she carefully observed the photograph before flipping onto the next one. Yep she was right. There was a glow in the eyes of the Avril in the photograph that did not exist now. The current Avril had a bright beaming smile, but it seemed strained. Like someone that is choking or just about to cry. The Avril in the photograph seemed genuinely happy.

Catherine flipped the page and there he was again. The scrawny little boy. In all honestly, he was a slightly cute, light skinned too. Wearing black, knee length shorts and a blue top. The two had their arms over each other. Catherine couldn’t help but notice the possibility that these might have been best friends or simply good friends.

Catherine continued to look at the photograph and remembered how emotional Avril had been when she saw this picture. How she had been filled with so much emotion yet so little at the same time.

As impossible as it may sound, Catherine knew all of Avril’s friends but she had never heard of or seen this guy. She had never heard a single story about this guy but to think of it, Catherine was beginning to realize that she knew almost nothing about Avril’s childhood. She knew that Avril had moved to the house next to hers when they were both seven years old but knew nothing about her before that. It was almost as if she appeared out of nowhere. Could that have been where it all went wrong. When Avril stopped really being a child.

Maybe that’s just what happens as you grow up, your innocence slowly withers, your joy cracks and you find out that a lot of what you thought was true really wasn’t.

“what are you doing?” Avril walked out of the shower with wet hair. Her afro suffered severe shrinkage whenever it came into contact with water but this did not stop her from wetting it.

“just looking at pictures of your little monkey face,” Catherine teased. Avril rolled her eyes and let out a smile.

“any luck figuring out who the mystery guy is?” Catherine called out to Avril who was making a smoothie. “what?” she asked confused

“this guy,” Catherine lifted the album so she could see. The shift in her face was evident. It was like she wanted to cry and vomit at the same time. “no,” she whispered. And went to get dressed.

Catherine took breath debating on whether it as safe to continue treading these waters that seemed to have a strong effect on Avril. “how about your parents? You could ask them, I am pretty sure one of them took this picture. They could now know him,” Catherine suggested speaking quickly in an attempt to conceal her nervousness.

There was a silence that followed that prolonged for what felt like a year to Catherine. It was something that Avril did, if she didn’t agree or simply wasn’t buying an idea she would remain silent. Only she knew what she was doing during the silence.

“Av, please say something,” Catherine said lowly to Avril who was busy packing her camera gear and her smoothie. She picked up her car keys and paused. For a minute it looked like she was going to say something but all she could let out was

“I really have to go Cat,”

“YOU CAME AND CHANGED EVERYTHING,”; CHPTRS

Every driver can attest to the fact that driving all by itself places you in somewhat a significantly closer position to your grave than you were before you got into the car. Driving by yourself is even more dangerous especially when you are absent minded. There is this thing that happens when you forget that you are actually driving and without a passenger present, well, anything could happen.

The drive to the street where Avril is stationed was spent deep in thought, about the little boy in the photograph. Who he was and why she had an incredibly strong reaction to seeing him? A reaction Avril had never had in her twenty-nine years of existence. With an extremely blurry morning like that, Avril knew that she was off to a rough start.

It wasn’t long before she saw the fast-paced market. With executive men wearing suits carrying brief cases, career looking women holding hand bags and a coffee to go in another hand, university students walking fast and some not so fast, artists busking, street vendors selling a variety of products and young boys skating. Old men selling street food, painters and designers doing what they know best not forgetting tourists and random people passing by.

It was how all of them were doing different things that could be considered art. Things that actually were art because these things all had a piece of their heart and mind in them. It was how they were so tuned into their individual crafts that nothing else in that moment actually mattered to them.

As a photographer, it was different for Avril. It was less about being tuned into your zone but rather looking outside, opening your eyes to something that actually wasn’t you. Being able to capture a beautiful moment for another person and not necessarily yourself. It was almost as if she froze time for them to be able to look back on. And that’s why she loved her job.

It showed her that there is more to the world than what’s going on inside of her. That there are many grand moments that may seem ordinary but someday won’t be ordinary. They will be the moments we look back with nostalgia and faint tears in our eyes because we can’t have them anymore.

Avril took a deep breath in and an equal one out, grabbed her camera gear from the backseat, killed her engine and headed out of her car. Nothing was supposed to go wrong this day. It was supposed to be a better day as it had been a terrible morning.

She took in the scenery and went ahead with her photography.

A distant view Avril could see a man, setting up his gear with assistance from what looked like his crew. Rage filled her body from the bottom of her body to the top. Clenching her fists in an attempt to conceal her much evident anger, Avril stomped towards the young man and stopped directly in front of him

There was only one rule in the Laphill town and it was that no photographer was to invade another’s territory. This man who clearly was not from around here had broken the rule.

“excuse me,” Avril said with a plastered smile on her face. “but do I have to remind you that this is my spot”

The man looked down on Avril and a smile erupted from his face. He looked at his crew as if giving them a sign to go away and they went.

“your spot huh?” the man rubbed the right side of his jaw with his right hand as is though he was thinking.

“yeah, how do you not know that,” Avril asked frustrated.

He smiled again. “did you pay for it?” he asked

“what?!...I. No...”

“then it’s not yours,” he said placidly and walked away.

She was left dumbfounded.

Who the hell does he think he is? She thought to herself.

Yeah no one messes with Avril Bana

Avril ran to the man who oddly was now a significant distance away. She grabbed him by his leather jacket to get attention.

“Woah!” the man exclaimed as he loosened himself from her.

“I don’t think we are done talking,” Avril positioned herself in an authoritative stance after she had fixed her cap that that she was wearing to cover up her shrunk afro. The man turned to completely fix her attention on her.

As they were standing face to face, Avril couldn’t help but notice how his eyebrows in that moment were looking better than hers. She took a deep breath and asked the million-dollar question. “who are you?” she managed to let out.

“who is asking,” the man smiled gallantly. Avril was reaching her limit of patience.

“fine, I am Avril Bana, I have been a street photographer in this spot for nine years. And as of right now you are on my territory,”

The man whistled and shook her his head in disbelief. “nine year?” He whispered. “how have you managed to stay in one place for nine full years,”

Avril blinked like she was having an epiphany. But how had she done it, she thought to herself. How had she managed to see a different kind of beauty in the same place for nine years.

“what… I…this isn’t about me mister. This is about you clearly not taking respecting the street photography rules in laphill town. It’s a thing I promise.” She whispered that last part.

The man bit the inside of the mouth and observed Avril for a long time. Completely aware of how uncomfortable he was making her, he let out a faint smile.

“follow me, I want to show you something.” He said.

“THINGS ARE NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME,” JESSICA MAUBOY

Luca became motionless. Everything around him however seemed to be moving in circles. The voice of the doctor was muffled. He was talking but Luca could not hear a word that he was saying. The doctor’s office all of sudden ran out of air and Luca was convinced his new white shirt was too tight around the neck.

“Mr. Smith? …. Mr. Smith…did you understand what I said?”

He came back from whatever world he had been trapped in. “I am sorry…I didn’t really…”

“it’s okay, delivering news like this is the least favorite part of my job. I know that this may be a lot to take in, but there is no easy way to say this. Mr. Smith, your scans did indicate a mass in the epigastric region of your abdomen. That is the area around the belly button. We won’t know if its cancerous until we conduct further tests. We will take it from there.” The doctor concluded.

Luca nodded absent mindedly.

As much he was trying not to think of it, this was a life defining moment. This moment could mean everything or nothing at all but one thing Luca knew was that, things were never going to be the same again.

“I AM STARTING TO WAKE FROM SILENT SLEEP,”; BIRDY

Avril hopped into the passenger seat of the unknown man’s car and banged the door. Whether it was intentional or not could be up for debate.

“so, where are we going?” Avril contained her frustration letting only her hands let it off.

“you will see?” the man replied without turning to look at her. Avril gave him a prolonged stare and it suddenly hit her.

It hit her that she had hopped into a car with a complete stranger and they were headed to a place that she did not know. To her surprise she felt calm. Of course, she felt annoyed by his obvious daring nature and somewhat ability to have his way but she felt at peace. it was rare for her to be settled within when she was with a stranger. She would have an outward smile but internally she would be reeking of anxiety. That day, that just wasn’t the case.

“we are here,” he whispered and looked at her eyes. He noticed how they were small, beady, barely visible unless you were looking. She had a subtle gorgeousness to her that again you wouldn’t see if you weren’t looking. She looked like that person you would never see if you weren’t looking. Lucky for him, he was looking.

The drive had lasted around forty-five minutes and when the car stopped, she realized that they were in different side of laphill Town. Almost away from town. It was the less busy side of the town. There was still movement but not as much as at Avril’s spot.

They both disembarked from the vehicle and Avril looked around taking in the scenery. Still clinging on to her camera gear, Avril finally said it “what are we doing here?”

“how about we start from the beginning?” The man let out a twitch of nervousness

“hello, my name is Mike Bunning, I am head of photography at Epic Pulse and I have been admiring your work for years now. It’s an honor to meet you.” The man said.

“umm…Avril Bana…it’s my…pleasure...I… guess,” Avril shook his hand awkwardly.

The day was becoming less and less normal with every second that elapsed. Avril let go of his hand quickly and scratched her forehead.

“okay so what are we doing here?”

“Epic Pulse as you already know releases an edition every mo...”

I am familiar with Epic Pulse Mr. Bunning, everyone in Laphill is.” Avril interrupted.

“alright…our next edition is titled story tellers and we have been on the look for a someone who will be able to wonderfully capture photographs encapsulating this theme. As a photographer I have been admiring for years, I thought you are the right man for the job…or woman… sorry you make me nervous.” He concluded and Avril concealed a smile.

Me making him nervous was he not the one acting all bravado on me a few hours earlier. She thought to herself.

“Mr. Bunning I am honored that you would even consider me for this. But I don’t know this has all been a lot honestly. I would like to think about it before making the decision”

“yeah…absolutely of course.” Mike agreed.

She also decided that while she was there, she might as well photograph some views. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she loved it. it was great to see a different kind of beauty all together.

There were different kinds of people, all portraying different art, telling their story. She understood why Epic Pulse had chosen this location, why they had chosen her remained a mystery. Everything about it was adorning, cultural and educational. She could stay here and never leave. The people there seemed to live and breathe art.

“AS LONG AS I AM BREATHING, I AM ALIVE” STEELFEATHER & ASHBY

“the truth is this mass could be cancerous or completely benign, but like I said we will know more once we do the test. You might or might not need surgery depending on the test results. All of this may be scary, but I can assure you this, Mr. Smith, you are in good hands.”

All Luca could hear as he walked down the street from the hospital was the doctors voice. It was like an endless loop. In the moment, he realized how it looked like his life had paused while everything around him continued.

The walk to the to the part of town where he had left his car was one completely overwhelmed with existential questions and thoughts. It seemed oddly longer than the other days.

As he was completely absent minded, he collided with a certain young lady.

“hey!” the young lady exclaimed as he carefully caught the gadget that was in her hands. Luca’s brain was too fuzzy to tell what it was. “I am so sorry,” he whispered sheepishly as he brushed his forehead.

The young lady realized how the man looked like he was pain. Definitely not physical pain. A different kind of pain. A paint that changes that way you talk, the way you walk and the way you live. She could see it because she was somewhat familiar with pain.

“it’s okay,” she said placing her gadget on the ground

“I am not hurt,” the young lady continued “but…are you...” she asked concerned.

“I am alright,” the man let out and he continued to walk

“I MIGHT FALL BUT NO REGERET;” ANNA GRACEMAN

In a distance Avril could see him getting into a fancy sports car and drive off.

Must be having a bad day she thought to herself.

“hey, should we go?” Mike came up from behind her, interrupting her thoughts.

She agreed and they hopped into his car back to the other side of town where she had left her car.

“I will think about your offer Mr. Bunning” Avril confessed as they were both standing by her car.

“you can call me Mike and I would appreciate that, thank you.” He replied. His hands were in his pocket and Avril could count the few times he made eye contact.

“okay, bye…Mr.…Mike…” Avril chuckled.

It had been an eventful day for Avril. Without thinking twice, she stepped into a steaming hot shower in attempt to relax. Mike’ s words would not stop replaying in her head.

Admiring your work for years

Head of photography

Epic pulse

Right man for the job

What the heck was all of this

On the bright side it would be a career accolade. But more than anything she was afraid that she would fail, but she had failed before and hadn’t died. Avril stormed out of the shower, picked up her phone and called Mike “hello,” mike answered on the other side.

“I am in,” Avril said boldly. She didn’t know if she was the right man or the job but she knew she wasn’t letting this one go. In less than an hour mike was in her apartment and she was signing the contract.

“I look forward to working with you Avril Bana,”

“ONLY LOVE CAN HURT LIKE THIS”; PALOMA FAITH.

Being in love with someone changes you. It affects almost every part of your being, whether you like it or not. Scientists are even investigating the theory that your partner can affect your blood pressure. But when you think of it, its actually not far from the truth.

It’s almost impossible to be that close to someone and not let what they do get to you. In a way it always finds its way to you.

Samantha was realizing how tuned out of life Luca had been for the past few weeks and decided to bring it up one evening.

“hey, Luca, I have been thinking, with your research and my break before shooting begin, we could go out of town get some air. Our spot.”

There was silence

“okay…babe, we need to talk,” Samantha climbed the bed Luca. He was on his phone. He seemed to be reading something. “talk to me, what’s going on?” Samantha whispered as she held his hand.

Luca handed her the phone without saying anything. She was puzzled and not completely getting the point until she looked at the screen.

“latest research on… cancer,” Samantha squinted her eyes as she read the words on the screen, “babe, why are you reading cancer research… are you planning on incorporating into you own” Samantha asked confused.

“no Samantha, I might have cancer,”

“might…”

“I went to the hospital to get my results and they showed a mass, in the area around my belly button. He says could be nothing, could be cancerous, only the test will tell.” Luca said lowly as he removed his watched and placed it on the side table

Samantha’s confused eyes followed his hand to the table and back to his lap where she could see it shaking a bit.

“okay...” Samantha dragged her response in a strong attempt to digest all that he had said.

In those few seconds Samantha began to wonder how her husband had managed to keep such news from her. she couldn’t help but wonder why he had done something so torturous to himself. Why he had not chosen to share the burden with her.

“I am sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner,” Luca let out as if he could read her mind

“babe, I am here for you , we are going to figure all of this out, together,” she said holding him tightly.

“I think I saw someone I know today,” said Luca breaking the hug. He looked like he was searching deep in his memory. Samantha remained silent. “ but I am sure they just look alike,” he concluded then he kissed her good night.

Later in the night he went into his study and attempted to sketch the face of the woman he bumped into at the mall. It was more than a rough sketch; certain details were missing or not too accurate but he did his best.

“Av was it you?” he whispered to himself staring at the picture.

“BUT NOW YOU SPEAK YOUR MIND,” ALEX FLOVENT

“I think I can tolerate you being here every morning if you keep up the breakfast duty” Avril smiled hugely as she took the plate with pancakes and maple syrup.

“whatever,” Catherine rolled her eyes. Avril let out a small chuckle and stuffed her mouth with the pancakes.

“Are you ready.” Catherine threw herself on the couch next to Avril.

Avril was making a pitch at Epic Pulse headquarters about her vision for the magazine edition. It had been numerous sleepless nights trying hard to find inspiration in literally anything and all of those hours, minutes and seconds were coming down to this moment.

“are you ever really ready,” she exhaled.

“you got this,” Catherine whispered. Avril nodded.

“And now allow me to welcome the photographer of this month’s Epic Pulse edition, Ms. Avril Bana.” A Loud applause erupted from the large conference room as Avril walked to the stage. When she on the stage, Avril closed her eyes allowing herself to both soak in the moment and calm her already existing nerves.

“thank you…” she begun. “before I begin, I would like to thank Mr. Bunning and his crew for believing that I could be the one to pull this off.” in a distance she could see Mike urging her with a faint smile.

“I fell in love with photography when I was fifteen years old. My father…bought me my first camera and I don’t remember putting it down unless I was in a classroom. When I was eighteen, I decided that I did not want to go to university but instead I wanted to be a street photographer and like any normal set of parents, mine were worried for me. But I believed that it is important to follow the path of my heart and today is one of the many days it has proven rewarding. This month’s edition is beautifully themed story teller. Each and every one of us here is a story teller. We get to tell stories in the images we photograph but our work also opens us to the truth that everyone is a story teller. A story teller that deserves to be heard. To be seen. Our ability to capture images allows us to be an anomaly between the world and the rest of these story tellers. Undoing assumptions and making certain things clearer.

I have spent the past few weeks honing my vision of this edition and I finally came to a conclusion… this morning in the shower.” People in the conference room chuckled. Avril smiled.

“I decided that I wanted to become a street photographer in Laphill when I was eighteen years old but I did not really start until I was twenty-year-old. That is because I spent two years travelling to different towns and villages out of Laphill still being a photographer. During those two years not only did I learn the crucial importance of budgeting, but I also learnt how big the world is, with different people, and how each and every single person has stories to tell that are worth listening to. I photographed children, elderly man and women, cried with some and laughed even more with some. In those two years I felt more connected to the world than I had been since I was born. Slowly I began to understand myself and the world too.” Avril paused as she was beginning get emotional, again she saw Mike’s urging smile and she continued

“It goes without saying that great photography awakens people to the diversity of the world. But diversity can only be achieved by inclusion. Inclusion of a larger scale of people. People in different places doing different things. Which is why with the funding that Epic Pulse has generously donated to my project, I will be touring five cities, five towns and fifteen villages collecting stories and also photographing them. I believe that photography cannot exist without the voice of the people and that is my mission and vision: To supplement photo journalism with the voice of the people.”

A loud applause erupted and Avril held back tears. She looked in the corner to find Mike but he was gone. A few seconds later he came up from her side

“great job,” he whispered as he went in for a hug

“thanks” she wiped a tear. Mike paused and stared at her intently. He looked at her like nothing else in that moment mattered except her. Avril could sense herself getting uncomfortable

“I am alright, thanks,” she left the stage.

As was tradition after a long day, Avril stepped into a long hot shower. She usually did not speak her heart like that. It had something to do with her feeling like anybody truly listened but this time around she did. A shower thought was what she presented to the executives at Epic Pulse and it had made the cut for her.

Avril twisted her hair into thick braids as she watched old seasons of greys Anatomy when she received a text. It was Mike.

Mike: drinks to celebrate?

Avril: I was kind of just heading to bed. Raincheck?

Mike: alright no problem.

“I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT”: HAYDEN CALNIN

There is a certain fear that comes with a diagnosis. You literally become scared. But there is also an underrated feeling that people don’t usually talk about. The relief. The weight from your shoulders that your tormentor has finally been identified.

Luca was scared about the thought of having a cancerous mass in his abdomen but he was relieved that it was identified early and it was operable.

The diagnosis did not really change his fixed schedule. He still woke up at the same time, still went for a morning run at the same time, still got coffee at Atamans and he still taught at Serenity University.

There was an unusual traffic that day at Altman’s. Luca stood in the que and unlike everybody else who was on their phone while waiting to order, he chose to observe his surroundings. His diagnosis had pushed him into a slower kind of living like how he no longer ate while reading the news on his phone.

The door of the Café opened and a young woman walked in. Something about her seemed familiar.

“yeah today… in few minutes actually. I am just picking up a coffee and then I am heading over there right now.” The woman talked to the phone “uh huh yeah, I don’t know I will just make something up, you know speak from my heart I guess,” she continued. “alright bye,” she hung up and stood in line behind him.

He was certain that he had seen her somewhere. When it was his turn to order, Luca was too absorbed in his thoughts to even speak. The bartender realized and gave him his usual black coffee.

As he turned around, he almost bumped into the young lady behind him

“you again?” she smiled

Luca was too baffled to speak “you alright?” He managed to let out.

“my outfits still intact, and right now that’s all that matters, have a great day,” she gave him a big smile and proceeded to make her order.

Luca turned pale.

No way, it really is her. its Avril. He said to himself

“AND I CAN WAIT FOREVER UNTIL WE BOTH GET IT RIGHT”; LUCA FOGALE

There were just a few days left until Avril and her team hit road on the story teller tour. The preparation was settling in, all thank to the extra help from Mike. The night before they were set to leave, Avril and Mike were sitting in his living room discussing a few final things when Avril blurted it out.

“I want you to come with me,”

Luca failed to contain his shock

“really?”

“yeah, really. I want you with me when I do this,” she confessed

Mike agreed without thinking twice about it.

“since you are asking me to literally travel across the country maybe you should return a favor,”

“the drinks” Anna chuckled softly “I hate you,”

His face erupted with a smile.

The two spent the evening talking, playing and listening to music. There was loads of laughing and dancing that evening.

“okay, I am calling it and I am helping my guys drive tomorrow, I need the rest.” Avril stood up. She didn’t feel drunk, but that was just because she wasn’t. she barely drank her drink as she was too busy chatting Luca’s ear off.

“are you sure you can drive? You can sleep on my bed…not with me.” He added quickly and nervously. “I …can take the couch” he concluded.

Avril smiled sheepishly. “thanks Mike but I am not that drunk, hey look my cup is still full,” she said pointing to her cup on the table. You, on the other hand need to sleep.” she headed for the door.

Just as she was about to leave, she looked back to Mike. “goodnight mike, I will see you tomorrow.”

And she was gone.

Mike had feelings for Avril and she knew it too. Both of them were waiting for the right moment. Like a bomb waiting to explode.

“THINGS I CAN’T ERASE” ;MARIAH THE SCIENTIST

Luca sat next to Samantha in the therapist’s office and for the first time he actually detested being there. The last thing he felt like doing was talking about his feelings.

Through the window, Luca could see the rain making an appearance. It gracefully hit the windows. It was beautiful and sad at the same time.

“The past few weeks can’t have been easy for both of you, Luca how have you been holding up.” The therapist began after the pleasantries were out of the way.

He was completely spaced out, oblivious to the world around him. The therapist called out to him a few times before Samantha decided to gently tap him.

“hmm yeah…absolutely… totally...yeah... I am fine. How are you?” Luca stammered.

The therapist withheld a chuckle realizing how Luca had been complexly absent minded the entire conversation.

“I am fine, thank you Luca, but I asked about how you have been holding up recently. With everything.” the therapist had a calmness to her. She reminded Samantha of her mother.

Her mother embodied peace, wisdom and calm. Just like the therapist. She would walk into the room and tranquility would clothe it. From the way she gracefully carried out her day to day tasks to the way she talked the woman was peace incarnated. Samantha hadn’t told her husband how much their therapist reminded her of her late mother which sometimes would make her feel fuzzy and warm inside but sometimes left her feeling sad and crying in the shower when they got home.

Luca wasn’t the only one keeping secrets. Samantha had parts that she hid from Luca too.

“oh. I am sorry I guess, just fin…”

“that a lie,” Samantha interrupted

The therapist shifted her eyes to Samantha and proceeded to ask her why she believed her husband was not telling truth. She was honest about how husband had seemed out of it ever since the diagnosis. Samantha even brought up the drawing of the woman she found in his study.

“did you go through my things,” he looked at his wife, tears filling his eyes. She began to feel the weight of what she had done. For a second, she looked away, when their eyes slowly met Luca had a chilling look of betrayal heartbreak and anger. Every muscle in her regretted bringing it up but even more regretted having walked into that study.

There was in eerie silence and Samantha was pretty sure she could hear her heart beating. With Samantha so scared that she couldn’t speak and Luca critically on the verge of tears the therapist decided to pitch in.

“Samantha, why did you feel the need to go through Luca’s things.”

“I don’t know…maybe because I feel like you don’t want to talk to me anymore! I feel like every day you retreat more and more into yourself, and I get that you are going through a lot right now but I keep telling you OVER AND OVER AND OVER again that I am here, that you don’t have to go through this by yourself but all I do is get shut out.” Samantha exhaled.

Luca quickly wiped a tear that escaped his eyes.

“you can talk to me… Luca… about…about how you are feeling…about who this woman is” Samantha added.

“she is my best friend!” Luca let out. he breathed in facing the ceiling, and battling his eye lashes to avoid any more tears. He began to wonder if the ceiling had always had that design. It looked like child was playing with wet paint and thought it was art.

“well was…” he whispered. “she was my childhood best friend…she…she … she almost killed me…and shortly after that…” he took a deep breath in. “I came back from the hospital and she was gone…okay…like forever, until a few weeks ago and well you don’t need psychiatric training to know what that would do to a person.” He said quickly.

Samantha was beyond perplexed and even though she kept a cool exterior the therapist was shocked as well.

I would give everything to stay out of your nightmares

I would give everything to reverse what I did

Time heals, it passed and I know you still hurt.

Time heals, it will pass, and I know you will heal.- Kago

REALIZATIONS ON THE OPEN ROAD

She watched the trees go by, one by one and the sun seeped through their rooftop. It was almost ethereal. Avril rolled down the window and began to take in the balmy breeze. No words could describe what being on the road felt like for Avril. Since she was a child, she loved it and wouldn’t miss it for the world.

So far, the tour was going well. Avril had definitely made a good decision bringing Mike along. She was making use of his expertise but she couldn’t hide the fact that he was great company. That afternoon Mike was driving and Avril was seated in the passenger seat of the tour bus.

“all right time for a break guys!” Mike called out. In a distance, he could hear delighted whispers coupled with whispers of relief.

Avril grabbed her camera gear and went out to stretch her legs. She realized that Mike had literally stopped in the middle of nowhere but she did not mind.

Nature helped her connect to the world and in turn to herself.

Immediately she began to take a few photographs of the leaves and the trees and the beautiful combination of the tall and short trees.

In a distance Mike could see how meticulous Avril was with her photography. It almost seemed as if she wasn’t just taking a photograph, but she was designing. Every single piece coming together angle by angle, light by light.

Mike tried to conceal a smile but failed terribly. Before he knew it, his eyes met hers and she smiled too.

“what!?” she called out to him.

he shook his head. “we got to go!”

“good photography takes time Mike, good photography takes time,” Avril repeated herself.

In that moment he knew that he had not made a mistake. She was indeed the man for the job.

QUIET MOON, WILD SEA

If someone was a wild heart incarnated, it was her. A free spirit, a wild child dancing with the stars. A reckless mind and a rebel heart. They were both young but he was not too young to see that she was special. He was not too young to realize that he didn’t want her away from him.

He didn’t try to tame her. He focused more on being the protector of her wild heart. Her parachute and her landing ground when she came crumbling down. They were both very young but they knew that they had enduring affection, trust and esteem for each other.

Someone once said, wild hearts deserve strong Lovers and that was Luca to Avril. Although unexplainable to many, their friendship was beautiful, a clear picture of how in any universe opposites will always attract.

Avril spent a lot of her time after school at Luca’s house

He liked being alone, hated having people in his space but somehow always found himself in Avril’s company. Sometimes they would play, on other days they would watch his favorite cartoons but really all they ever did was be in each other presence.

“my dad bought a canoe,” Luca said one day as they were coming home from school. Avril threw herself on the couch and turned to face Luca who was making sandwiches for the both of them as was custom.

Avril remained silent, something Luca knew he did every time when she was deep in her trail of thought. He knew better than to stand in her way let alone speak. He never knew what she was thinking and quite honestly, he didn’t want to know, he believed it was better that way. Luca continued to make the sandwiches and offered her a plate.

“we should take it out,” she said with her mouth full. Luca knew the look that she was giving him. He had seen it every time before they both did something they later regretted.

“the canoe?” Luca asked desperately hoping she would say no but to his demise she agreed.

“yeah let’s test it...for your dad.”

“I really don’t think…”

“that’s your problem Luca you use your brain too much, you think too much,” Avril protested as he headed to the storage room.

She took fast strides and even jogged a bit. As Luca sat down, holding his sandwich in his hand he couldn’t help but realize how Jovial she seemed even when she was up to no good.

She was a force, a flame, one that couldn’t be put out.

“well... are you going to help me or what,” Avril raised her hands.

And well we all know how this part goes.

As shocking as it sounds. Two seven-year old’s managed to carry a whole canoe into the lake that was in Luca’s parents backyard. Avril helped Luca into the canoe and they both used their best power to paddle. When they arrived nearer to the middle of the lake, Avril put away her paddles. Luca did the same.

The water was calm. There air was clear.

“hey Av,” Luca broke the silence. Avril opened her eyes and fixed them on Luca. “I am scared,” he said looking around restlessly.

Her eyes remained intently on him. Lucas knew that she was looking for something nice to say. Kind words didn’t necessarily stay at the top of her head.

“it’s okay to be sacred, I get scared too sometimes,” she managed to let out.

Luca raised his eyebrows unconvinced. “yep I do, I am scared of…” she paused to think.

“I am scared of men with like really dark hair, I even get nightmares about it.” she said really quickly. Luca erupted with laughter and Avril covered her face embarrassed. When he finally stopped, she smiled faintly. She loved seeing him happy. She loved seeing him smile.

“nothing is going to hurt you Luca, I wouldn’t let it,” Avril spoke softly as she made her way to Luca’s side. she gave him a long hug and calmed down.

The canoe tilted slowly towards one side bearing a lot of weight. The two kids tried to balance it out but before they both they could do anything ,it was tipping over. There was screaming and shouting within these few seconds. It happened so fast.

All she saw was Luca hitting his head on the canoe as it went down. She went deeper into the water to look for him but he was nowhere to be found. She called out, screamed and cried until she decided to swim out and go ask for help.

In a distance, Avril could see Luca’s mom running towards the lake. She was screaming and crying as she had figured out that her son was still in the water. Luca’s father was right behind her, running even faster. He overtook her and jumped right into the water. Luca’s mother was now pacing up and down on the shore still crying while waiting for her husband to come out of the water with her son.

Maybe it was fate, a coincidence or for lack of a better word, God, that Avril’s parent arrived shortly after that. It didn’t take them long to put the pieces together.

Mrs. Bana could see Lucas’ mother wailing by the shore, Luca’s father was in the water calling for him, Mr. Bana jumped into the water to help out.

Avril just sat there, wet and cold, shaking. She wasn’t crying let alone making a single sound. Mrs. Bana, her mother, approached her slowly.

Upon reaching her she looked into her eyes and she knew it. her only daughter was gone.

It was in that moment that she knew that things would never really be the same anymore. Mrs. Bana held her daughter she was very cold but she was relieved that she was alive.

Mrs. Bana heard the loud cries intensifying and she looked over to see Mr. Bana coming out of the water with an unconscious hopefully not dead Luca. His father immediately started chest compressions and mouth to mouth

“we need to get him to a hospital now!” he shouted

Hey honey none of this is your fault okay, Av…Av… can you hear me darling…Avril honey can you look at me, focus on me okay…Avril! Avril!

Babe we need to get her out of hear

Yeah, we probably should.

“I FIND COMFORT IN DISCOMFORT, PRETTY STRANGE.”; RIMON

Being almost seventy five percent complete with her tour, Avril was exhausted. She was secretly wishing that she hadn’t put so much on her plate. Not only was she physically exhausted but compassion fatigue was also setting. She was finding it hard to concentrate and she wanted was to be back home, alone in her apartment, in her bed. She thought she was doing a good job concealing her contradictory feeling but Mike could see through all of it.

“you know it’s like 3am right,” Mike said as he approached Avril. They had set up a little camping site some kilometers before the next two villages. She was warming herself by the fire.

“couldn’t sleep,” Avril replied absentmindedly.

“nightmares?” mike sat next to Avril and picked up a stick to put into the fire.

She nodded agreeing.

A lull followed Mike’s words. It wasn’t uncomfortable or unbearable. His presence was bearable.

“you know…Avril. we can stop the tour here. We have down four cities and five villages, five towns and like years’ worth of footage to back it up. You also archived your goal. You went out and collected stories from so many people. its absolutely fine if you want to call it. I can have you on a flight first thing in the morning.”

Avril didn’t even look up at him and she responded

“I am fine thanks,”

“I WAS STILL A CHILD,”; ADELE

“but there is something I just don’t get,” Luca began after a long silence.

The therapist swiftly placed her notebook on the table and readjusted her glasses to fix her attention on him.

“how does she not remember me…how do you just erase someone that once meant everything to you like that,”

She remained quiet for a minute before she could speak.

“our brains process traumatic events differently. Your brain’s first instance when you go through something painful is to make you forget it or not remember it. It blocks it all away. Sometimes it’s perfect sometimes, not so much, that’s how you will see something and feel like you are reliving it all over again. I don’t think Avril erased you Luca. I do think what happened was so painful for her brain to bear, it made her forget it all together…. she was young… you guys both were. Your brain helped her to forget while yours still remembers.”

“do you think I should… do you... Do you think I should talk to her, find her… and talk about it? I want to know…I want to know why she suddenly disappeared why she left…”

“you know I can’t tell you what to do Luca…but I can tell you this: listen to your heart.” she began.

“you can’t exclude the heart in matters of the heart,” she concluded.

“EVERYTHING AND NOTHING AT THE SAME TIME” LEAH NOBEL

Avril listened attentively as the elderly man narrated the story of their people. She was intrigued, so absorbed that she didn’t notice the suspicious looking man coming from behind. He came and stood next to her. She wasn’t always on point but she knew how to be aware of her surroundings. Avril could sense the weight of the man while still keeping her eyes on the elderly man in front of her.

Swiftly she pulled her camera gear closer and closer to herself and tried to cut the story short to leave. When she succeeded the elderly man left and she got up to leave.

“not so fast,” the man towered over her and grabbed her shoulder aggressively. Avril winced in pain.

“how can I help you mister…”

The man let out an evil laugh and placed both hands on her shoulders squeezing them intensely,

“the gear stays or I do something to you that I am not sure you would not like,” he whispered.

She scoffed in disgust. His breath reeked of alcohol and traditionally cooked meat. “oh, you think I am kidding?” the man began to caress her neck and his finger slowly drifted lower and lower. Avril was usually unafraid but she caught sight of the knife that he clearly wasn’t hiding and all her bravery went out the window. At this point she was now shaking whimpering and on the verge of tears.

His fingers were continuing to drift lower and lower until a stern angry voice interrupted him.

“if you don’t get your hands off of her you are really going to regret,” it said.

She felt the man’s rusty hands leave her body.

The man turned to the direction of the voice and it was Mike. “don’t make this any harder than it needs to be,” Mike pulled out and a gun and everyone on his team followed suite.

The man made a split-second decision that was probably the smartest he ever made. He walked away.

Mike ran towards Avril. He carefully observed her for any injuries “are you hurt, did he hurt you?”

Avril didn’t answer but instead she burst out crying. She was relieved but she was scared. She was tired and exhausted but she couldn’t say any of that so just cried and cried.

“okay that’s it I am calling it, get us on the first fight tomorrow morning,” he said to one of the men on his team.

“Yes boss,”

“HEAVEN KNOWS I NEED THIS,”; LEAH NOBEL

After a month, Luca got his results and to his demise they were exactly what he feared. cancer. Saying it out loud made it feel real.

A diagnosis can do one of two things. 1. Scare you to your death or 2. Scare you to live. For Luca it was the second one. Realizing how all of it could be taken away from you in a second made him realize that tomorrow is not promised.

Samantha was beginning to notice how he was more spontaneous and didn’t exactly follow a strict schedule like he used to. He smiled more. He said “I love you more,”. He was outside in the sun more. He danced more. Laughed more and smiled more.

The period between receiving a cancer diagnosis and waiting for the surgery was the liveliest Samantha and Luca’s house had even been. There were times they were so happy Samantha was afraid that maybe he was dying but the doctor had assured them that the procedure was pretty routine and they did not have to worry about anything.

One night, Samantha woke up in in the middle of the night and Luca was not in bed with her. Trying not panic, she walked to the living room. He was not there.

“babe? Why aren’t you in bed?” Samantha asked when she finally found him in his study. She looked up at the clock in the room and it read 3 am.

“I was writing,” he replied with a smile.

Samantha shook her head and disbelief and walked over to his table. After asking for consent with her eyes, she picked up one of the papers that were filled with ink. Samantha glanced her eyes over the paper.

“what’s this?” her tone didn’t give off her emotion so Luca took a minute before he could respond.

“these…these are letters…” Luca managed to let out

“To her?”

“yeah. to Av,” Luca let down his head

He couldn’t tell if she was angry or simply shocked.

“why don’t you just go talk to her, I can get you an address”

“this will do for now.” Luca concluded.

SONDER- DERMONT KENNEDY

It been a month since Avril tour ended and story teller was having the biggest sales in Epic Pulse history. Mike was elated and so was Avril. She saw all her hard work paying off and there was no better feeling in the world.

“so why did you become a photographer,” Avril asked Mike one evening as they were developing images in his dark room.

“because it’s fun,” mike winked at her and took off to the living room. He placed his photographs on the coffee table in the living room and went to the kitchen.

“I mean I know it’s fun, but why did you really do it,” Avril called out to him while running after him

Mike handed her a can of drink as he sat and she followed suit.

“ever heard of the word sonder” said mike after gulping his drink.

Avril shook her head in disapproval.

“the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. A life populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines worries and inherited craziness.” Mike paused and looked at Avril. Her face bore no expression.

“I became a photographer because it constantly reminded me that as much as it might be difficult to come to terms with, I am not the center of the world. Everyone has an epic story that is going on invisibly around me.” He continued.

“I get that,” Avril nodded.

TOO PAINFUL TO BE A DREAM

Luca realized that Avril was now permanently at the street where he had first bumped into her. He would battle the urge to go over to her but fear would always get in the way. He would bite his tongue and wait till he got home to write letters to her in hopes that one day she would see them.

“how are we feeling?” Samantha asked Luca as he lay in the hospital bed awaiting his surgery.

“like I am about to be cut open,”

“I get that, well…it’s going to be over before you know it,” she planted small kisses on her forehead. Samantha moved away from him and she seemed a little nervous.

“okay now you are making me nervous” Luca admitted as he sat up in his bed.

“there is someone that would like to talk to you,”

And she walked in. For a minute he thought he was dreaming. But the throbbing pain in his back suggested otherwise.

“Avril?!” Luca whispered in disbelief.

I GUESS I AM GOING HOME

“Yo! Whose camera is this?” Catherine called out to Avril who was making dinner. They were having an ‘evening in’ like they liked to call it. This meant that they were dressing up, cooking expensive food but they were just in the house.

“oh, it’s Mike’s he must have left it when he stopped by this afternoon. Avril picked up her phone to text him in order to let him know and then she threw her phone on the couch.

As she was cutting the vegetables, the only decent thing she could do in the kitchen, Avril could feel the weight of Catherine’s stare on her. She looked up and gave her a confused look. Catherine smiled faintly

“no, no, Mike and I are simply colleagues, okay, that’s it,”

“yeah sure colleagues…” Catherine sipped her wine. “well Mr. colleague is calling,” Catherine handed her the phone.

As she was talking to the phone, Catherine realized how she had never seen her best friend talking to any man on the phone like she was with Mike. She had seen how comfortable they around each other during the few dinners they all shared together. But even more she was in awe of how he respected her, adored her, and treated her like she was a queen and baby at the same time. She secretly hoped and prayed Avril would just give him a chance.

When she hung up, Avril was smiling and Catherine raised an eyebrow

“shut up and drink your wine,” Avril said and they both chuckled.

The night was perfect. The food. The music. All of it. and the girls looked absolutely stunning and they knew it. They felt it. To a stranger the ‘evenings in’ wouldn’t make sense but parts of them were introverted and they enjoyed it.

Avril could see Mike’s camera in sight. Hesitantly she picked it up and began to go through some of the pictures. It went without saying that Mike was way more experienced that she was and it was evident in his work. Even before they were developed.

As she was scrolling, Avril spotted a familiar face. She squinted her eyes and looked closer. She was sure it was him but couldn’t remember where she had seen him. In a distance Catherine could see her friend tilt her head and squint her eyes like she was solving a puzzle and before she could say anything Avril stood abruptly and ran to her room. In high heels. In a few seconds she was back both her cameras hand in hand she sat down and began to go through the pictures. Catherine couldn’t help but notice how in that moment she looked like she was on the verge of losing it. She paused at a certain image and then picked up the other camera. Again, she furiously scrolled through the images and stopped at one of them. Catherine stood up from her couch and came over to the table.

All three cameras had the same person. A guy who frequented the street, Catherine guessed. But the look on Avril’s face told a different person.

“who...” Catherine tried to speak but Avril ran off again

“okay now I am getting worried!” Catherine called out to her.

Avril came back with the photo album her parents sent her and went to the picture of the boy.

“tell me that this little boy isn’t this man!!!?” Avril screamed holding up the photo album to Catherine.

Catherine’s eyes darted back forth between the three cameras that were arranged on the table and the photo album in her hand.

“tell me!?” Avril shouted

“tell me!?”

Catherine gave a friend a sympathetic look and held her hand.

“Avril, I think you need to talk to your parents about who this boy is,”

Avril wiped a few tears from her eyes and mouthed an “I am sorry” To Catherine.

“I guess I will be spending my birthday at my parents’ house.” She sniffed and let out a chuckle.

“THE HARDEST PART ABOUT GOING HOME IS FACING THE TRUTH THAT YOU ARE GETTING OLDER.”; NOAH CYRUS

The paths were overgrown. Trees and shrubs alike clothed the sides the road. Avril couldn’t help but feel sentimental as she drove in the high way on her way home.

A wave of sadness swept over her and she was filled melancholia. As she didn’t want to see her parents looking like a train wreck, Avril put in some trap to hype herself up. She let the window down and the air to hit her face.

Maybe just maybe I will be able to get the answers to all of my questions. She thought to herself

After an hour long, melodramatic drive she finally arrived at her parents’ house. Avril killed the engine in her old Honda and took a deep breath in and a equally big one out. she gave her child hood home a prolonged stare before she stepped out of her vehicle. Avril knocked twice.

“Avril!” her mother said elated as she hugged her. Her mother was light skinned, wore an afro like her and had beady eyes. She had a petite body unlike Avril who was tall. She smelled like home, like comfort…like home.

Avril gave her mother a quick smile and headed inside the house. Nothing had changed, everything was still the same way that she had left it.

“where’s dad?” she removed her sunglasses and placed them in her handbag making sure not to look into her mother’s eyes. She had a thing for sensing trouble which is why Avril could never get away with trouble as a teenager.

“your father is in the back. Oh, there he is,” Avril looked ahead where his father was walking into the living room majestically. He was tall, and dark in complexion. Avril had inherited both the latter and the former but a less common trait she had inherited from her father was her sensitivity.

At his core Mr. Bana was a highly empathetic man. He was deeply compassionate and loved his wife and daughter.

“hi dad,” she whispered hugging her dad.

She had arrived just in time for dinner. Her plan was to eat, make sure everyone was happy and then she would pop the questions.

Dinner was palatable, savory to say the least. Avril wished she could have inherited her mother’s cooking skills.

“what can you tell me about my childhood, dad?” Avril spoke up believing she was easing into the subject but her father’s facial expression made her feel like she had hit a nerve. “what do you want to know,” her mother interjected with a smile.

“anything…anything…anything you can literally tell me,” Avril managed to let out. The desperation in her voice did not go un noticed.

Mr. and Mrs. Bana looked at each other for a few seconds and Avril’s dad finally spoke. It sounded rehearsed, restrained like there was more to the story than they were letting on. But then again Avril was having a rough few couple of days she couldn’t necessarily trust all that she was feeling.

“well, you were definitely a wild child, with an even wilder soul. You stopped at nothing for no one. I, for one had a hard time keeping up with you,” he let out a soft chuckle. “you loved music, loved church and I know you loved your friends.”

He said that part like he was not supposed to say it. The look his wife gave him confirmed it. “you said friends…I don’t remember any of them, do you remember any or their parents,”

“no darling, it was a long time ago…it was what like twenty-nine years ago…speaking of twenty-nine years, your birthday is coming up, do you have plans because your dad and I would like to celebrate with you.” Her mother interjected.

She sighed deeply and a subtle feeling of defeat swept over her. She let it sting for two seconds until she regained her strength. She wasn’t going to give up. She came here for answers and was not leaving without them.

“what about the boy in the photo album?”

“what boy?” her mother looked at her father.

At that moment, Avril realized that somewhere, somehow the truth was being concealed. Without wasting anytime, she pulled it out and placed it on the table in front of her parent. Her mother gasped and her father looked away.

“so is anyone going to tell me who this boy is,”

There was a long silence, it was so long Avril thought she was going to die of the wait. But her parents finally spoke up

“that is… Luca,” her mother managed to let out.

And well the whole story came out.

“after the incident Luca was in really bad shape, we didn’t want you to see him like that, there were pipes and machines and it wasn’t exactly the sight you wanted to have your child see. We… as your parents together with Luca’s came to a mutual decision that we should move, you know get a fresh start. you father already had an offer from various law firms here. After a month you seemed normal to us and the counselor said something about your brain having made you forget the entire experience. When she said that we didn’t see the need to remind you of all of it. We didn’t lie to you honey, we just didn’t remind you. And you turned out…alright.” Said Avril’s mother

“we got in contact with Luca’s parents six months after the incident and they reassured us that Luca was okay. He had healed tremendously but unlike you, he remembered all of it. He has a fear of water but he is in perfect health my darling. You don’t need to blame yourself for any of it. Mistakes happen all the time.” her father added

Avril felt like the walls in the room were closing in, like the ceiling was falling right on top her. she clenched her hands and although she felt like she was choking she managed to let a low “I can’t believe this,”

“THE OLDEST TEENAGER I KNOW” LEXI JAYDE

Someone once said adults are just teenagers with bills and as woman of facile intellect, Avril took this statement to heart. Growing up, it helped her have painless relationships with most adults and when she became one, she was able to be more empathetic to her fellow ‘teenagers with bills’. She did not think that one day she would have to give herself the same grace.

When she drove to her parents’ house, she knew she was in for some awakening but this was far from what she had expected. Like a little girl, Avril stormed to her room and slammed the door. After throwing herself on the bed she let the tears flow.

Tears of pain for what she had done to Luca. Tears of disbelief for what she had done to Luca, tears of fear for the next Luca.

After a few minutes she wiped her tears, she didn’t know if she wanted to go back home or stay and continue talking to her parents about all of it. What she did know was that, all of it was too painful bear and that she had a lot to say to Luca. One of them being that she was sorry.

She wanted to find to him.

After a few hours of crying, Avril caught a glimpse of her phone and saw a missed call notification. It was from Mike. Just as she was about to put it down it rang again.

: hey,

: Mike, wassup

: is now a bad time?

: ummm… yeah it kind of actually is

: alright, I will...i will call you back.

and she hung up.

He sounds nervous she thought to herself

She sounds sad he thought to himself

“MAYBE WE’RE PERFECT STRANGERS,” JP COOPER

When she woke up the following Morning Avril felt ill. Her eyes could barely open due to the swelling and her throat felt sore from all the crying. The smell of bacon and eggs propelled her out her bed and down to the kitchen where her mother was preparing breakfast.

“Good morning birthday girl,” her mother exclaimed as Avril came down the stairs. She gave her a quick and faint smile and proceeded to eat her breakfast silently.

Evidently there was a subtle tension but Avril was choosing to go through the day like had even happened.

She silently ate her breakfast and went to the basement where she found many old photographs of her and Luca. She secretly stashed them in her clothes and put them into her bag. Avril’s parents were following her lead and choosing completely to ignore what happened the day before. They plunged into her love life as a method of digressing.

“we are not asking you to get married now,” her dad tried to calm her down

“but we would like that eventually,” her mom added. Avril’s dad placed a hand on her wife’s thigh.

“all we are saying is that we think its time for you to finally put yourself out there, you know, go out….”

“I do go outside dad,” she interrupted with a faint smile pausing to scan the room one last time for her car keys and shoes

“ah great,” she whispered to herself once she had spotted her keys in the corner together.

“thank you for the cake but I really have to go,” she let out as she picked up her camera bag and left.

As she was on the road, Avril couldn’t help but empathize with her parents for what they did but she was hurt. She had spent her whole life wondering why she was afraid of water. As it turns out her brain completely forgot but her body remembered all of it.

Her trail of thought was interrupted by an unusual sound from her car followed by a complete halt.

“No no no no” she whispered to herself

“I have to go,” she said into her receiver to Catherine who she had dialed in an attempt to tell everything but failed miserably

Confirming her suspicions, it was a flat. Just as she was debating who to call a car pulled up in front of her. It was a deep red mustang. It almost seemed like a crime for it to be parked next to her old Honda. An alluring lady came out of it, her style was simple yet elegant, wearing blue jeans, a white shirt and black pencil hills.

Her heart rejoiced. She was not going to spend hours beside the road waiting for help. Help had come to her, right when she needed it.

“having some trouble, how can I help?” although she said only a few words, Avril could sense brevity and authority in the woman’s voice. Her stride encompassed a level of confidence that she admired.

“I think I have a flat,” Avril looked at the tire then back at the woman.

The woman studied her for a moment then opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something only to close it.

“I could just get a ride to the next town, you don’t have to deal with this,”

The woman gave her a genuine but faint smile. She might have even laughed silently, after gesturing to Avril to get into the car.

The drive was mostly silent apart from the old Rhythm and blues that was playing through the car’s exceptional sound system.

“so, where are you headed to,” Avril spoke over the music that was at a normal volume no requiring her to raise her voice but somehow, she still did.

“same place you are,” she replied still keeping her eyes on the road. “Laphill,” she continued. Avril nodded and then remained silent for a minute until she spoke again

“So what do you do,” Avril asked again

The woman looked at her at her and did not say anything.

“oh sorry, was that intrusive? I apologize, I just thought since we are in the car for an hour, we could get to know each other,” she spoke quickly without any pauses. The way she did when she was nervous. “my name is Avril Bana and I am a street photographer,” she concluded and again there was silence.

“I know,” the woman let out still keeping her eyes on the road. She stepped on the accelerator even harder and the car sped even more.

How does she know my name Avril was confused? She closed her eyes and tried to make sense of it all. She had been piecing together many puzzles over the past two days and frankly she was too exhausted to attempt to solve another.

“you do?” Avril opened her eyes and the red mustang was already entering Laphill, she took an early turn into Serenity University Hospital and killed the ignition.

“there is someone waiting for you,” the woman said with a face that bore no expression.

They walked together into the hospital and the woman paused outside a room that was evidently a VIP suite. She thought those only existed on TV. “I’ll call you in.” she instructed. Avril nodded

How am I just going along with this, who is this woman, and what am I doing here she thought to herself.

Avril scanned her surroundings and her eyes landed on the writing on the door she was standing outside of it read ‘Luca Brown’. She gasped. And held her mouth tightly. A few tears escaped her eyes and a sound left her mouth completely betraying her.

It took more than self control not to bolt into that hospital room but this wasn’t a movie, it was real life so Avril waited.

“there is someone that would like to talk to you,” Avril heard the woman say,

She bolted through the door and hoped her heartbeat wasn’t as high as her breathing.

“Avril?” Luca whispered]

“Luca,” Avril’s voice cracked. She approached his bed slowly; the woman gave her an encouraging nod so she came even closer.

“oh my gosh, I…I …can’t…I can’t believe you are here,” said Luca.

Avril noticed how his words were choppy and came out in small fragments. Like he was in pain but trying to hide it. but he also looked happy. Avril just stood there not knowing what to say. Her eyes were drowning in tears and like a bomb she exploded into a painful cry and went down to hug Luca

“I am so sorry... I am so sorry Luca,” she repeated.

When she had finally stopped crying a nurse walked in to take him into surgery. “now if you will excuse me, I have business to attend to” he joked

Avril let out a smile

“we have a lot to talk about when I wake up, Av,”

“and Av’...happy birthday,” Luca added.

she nodded, the woman gave Luca a kiss and the nurses wheeled him away.

“My name is Samantha. I am Luca’s wife,” she smiled as she handed clearly anxious Avril a coffee.

“I figured the former…or the latter…whatever I don’t know the difference…but do you think I should drink this. It kind of has caffeine and I am kind of nervous already and it kind of makes me double nervous and why do I keep saying ‘kind of’,” again Avril spoke quickly without pauses like she did when she was nervous. Samantha failed to conceal her chuckle.

“it’s a tea,” she pointed to Avril’s cup.

Samantha could see her worried eyes. “a few months ago, a mass was found in his stomach which was later proved to be cancerous the doctors have assured us that it minor and he will be fine.

Relief swept over her face.

“Thank you,” Avril whispered.

“Thank you for bringing me to him,” Avril added . Samantha smiled and nodded.

“THESE ARE THE DAYS WE WILL TALK ABOUT FOR YEARS” ; SARAH REEVES

“what a month, huh,” Luca said to Avril as they sat at the backyard of his childhood looking over at the lake, that well, held quite the memory for both of them.

After much conversation with their therapist, Samantha agreed to go on a two-day trip together with her husband and Avril. Over these two days the Luca and Avril got to talk. Samantha learnt a lot about both Avril and her husband. As she could simply talk to Luca, Avril decided that she did not need to read the letters that Luca had written. They would remain a reminder to him to to always have courage, whatever it might look like

Being in his childhood home was truly nostalgic. The absence of his parents made it even more sentimental but someone was finally there. Avril. his best friend.

“so…Av... what’s been going are you seeing someone or playing the field,” Luca sipped his tea. Yes tea. Samantha was walking the dogs as was morning custom each time she visited her in laws house. Avril was realizing how Luca was just as boring even as an adult, but she she still loved him.

“ummm…not really, I have been really busy” she sipped her tea reluctantly, pausing to analyze it first. Luca nodded.

“right there!” Luca pointed to Avril, Avril looked to Luca confused.

“you just did that thing that you do when you are thinking, oh my gosh you haven’t changed a bit,” a happy laugh erupted from Luca and a smile escaped from Avril. “you were just thinking about someone, so…” Luca continued.

Her face became pale and suddenly bore no expression. “I just don’t really want to hurt anyone again,” she managed to let out.

“Avril, being hurt is an inevitable aspect of life, the more you keep running from it, the worse it gets. Humanity cannot survive without love. You are not permanently damaged, so let yourself love and be loved.”

“yeah,” she agreed lowly.

“EVEN IF IT’S...” HAZLETT

Love and lies don’t necessarily go hand in hand. But people who love each do hurt each other sometimes. It happens. Things get said or don’t get said and feelings are hurt. Its love and I guess you hurt ,you heal and then you love again. When you get hurt you find a way to do it all over again. Avril thought to herself.

“what are thinking about?” mike asked Avril who clearly was lost in thought. She had agreed to go for a late dinner with him they later watched the stars at a much quieter part of Laphill. They continued the evening sitting behind Mike’s truck. The evening had been beautiful. She looked great, she felt great but there was something about being outside in a dark night, looking at the stars that makes you want to look within yourself and think deep thoughts.

“nothing,” Avril’s response was quick.

Mike could see that Avril was still guarded and it was going to take time to bring down her walls and make her comfortable enough to speak her mind.

“the sky is pretty,” she said looking up at the stars. His eyes were fixated on her not the sky. Ever since he laid eyes on her, he found her beauty captivating. “yeah,” his reply was a whisper barely audible making Avril turn to look at him.

The was a lull that followed when Avril and Mike were now eye to eye. Mike had always had this intentional stare that he gave Avril but that evening she felt like she couldn’t escape his gaze. She tried to find something to say but she couldn’t. All she could think of were the words Luca had said over the weekend.

“Let yourself love and be loved.”

all it takes is two seconds of courage she thought to herself.

He leaned in slowly, paying attention to how she reacted as the distance between them became smaller and smaller. He got so close Avril was scared he would hear her erratic heartbeat.

“Mike…” she managed to let out. He bit his lower lip noticing how uncomfortable she now was. “I am really sorry,” he apologized.

“no…I …I am sorry, I…just, I am not ready yet. For any of this but I would really like to be still be friends.” She concluded.

He knew from the first day that he wanted her and he was not going to give that up just yet. Avril on the other hand just need time. He smiled then proceeded to plant a light kiss on her forehead. Mike said

“I am going to love you until your cuts, burns and fractures become scars that you barely remember…even if it’s just as your friend.”

The end.

thank you so much for coming this far, I honestly appreciate it.

the people places and events narrated in this story are purely fictional and any similarity is purely coincidental