Her
Every touch.
Every embrace.
Made me want to recouch.
Made me race.
Her words danced in my ears.
Her face dwelled in my head like a catchy song.
Her smile would light up my world.
I don't know how she did it.
I wish I did.
A feeling would swell inside me every time I saw her.
Deep in me.
The way she walked.
The way she talked.
It made me brace.
I was captivated.
The way her hips swayed.
The way her heels clicked.
The way her hair bounced.
The way her eyelashes were perfected.
How did she do it?
I wanted to know.
I wanted to know her ways.
I want to know how she made me feel this way.
How was I feeling?
Was this jealousy?
Hatred?
No.
That’s not it.
It never felt like that.
It didn’t feel like vines trapped me.
It felt like a warm ray of sun that subsumed me.
She was a beautiful rose.
Her root system wrapped around all these other beauties.
These other charming plants.
The kind that one would pluck and take a long look at.
The kind that people would allow the smell to envelop them.
But I wasn’t like that.
I wasn’t charming.
I wasn’t beautiful.
Or captivating.
I was a limp weed.
The kind people would rip out because it didn’t fit in their garden.
The kind people grimaced at.
I wasn’t the kind of person someone wanted to be near.
I was avoided.
I would never compare.
But I could dream.
Dream of her.
Dream of us.
Together.
In another world.
A better one.
One where I didn’t need straight teeth.
One where I didn’t need long hair.
One where I didn’t need a symmetrical face.
One where I wasn’t judged.
Where people would take the effort to greet me.
Where they wouldn’t feel forced to compliment me.
Where I could be me.
And not be judged.
Our faces could be seen together and no one would turn a head.
Where our finger's could be warmly tangled.
Our bodies cutely pushed next to each other.
Cracking jokes.
With giggles following.
But we don’t live there.
People would pivot if they saw us together.
They would gag.
They would whisper and snicker.
They didn't want to see me.
Or more accurately, they didn't want to see me with her.
