Nickolle (1)
Summer is one of my favorite things. I don’t like the heat but I enjoy spending time outside of school. Bryan and I sometimes met up at the Ice Cream Palace and we talked about the latest books we’d been reading and how summer was going.
He was big into Stephen King but I preferred romance novels. I didn’t like the horror aspect of Bryan’s personal choices but it was still nice to know someone who loved reading.
We had gotten close over the past few years and I felt comfortable with him. I told him everything and he was the same with me. There were no secrets between us.
I liked him as more than just a best friend but I was too shy to tell him. I think he liked me like that too but I didn’t want to mess things up between us, they were good the way they were.
My friend Violet had stopped talking to me; I think she got a new phone because her old number had texted me saying I had the wrong number.
What a shame but I still had Bryan. We were going into middle school so puberty was no longer a secret amongst the kids. I was nervous and excited at the same time.
I wasn’t ready to be around all of the older kids but I was excited to be one step closer to no more school. Bryan had come over and we were swaying on my porch swing when I saw a truck pull into the driveway of the house next door.
The place had been vacant for as long as I could remember and I wondered who the new people were and what they’d be like. A family of four got out and a girl my age looked around.
Thankfully she didn’t spot me or Bryan sitting on the swing and we both watched in fascination as they began carrying things into the new house.
My mom had appeared behind us and she smiled. “Looks like Ellis and Zoey are moving back in. Their daughter’s your age, you know.”
I had figured as much but it felt weird hearing Mom confirm it. Bryan and I shared a glance before I looked back at Mom. “I’ll wait until school to talk to her. Summer’s almost over.”
Mom smiled. “If you say so.”
She told me a lot about the girl- Elley. She thought we should be friends but I didn’t really want to be friends with her. Her vibe was weird.
Bryan and I spent the last few weeks of summer together, staring at the night sky and pointing out constellations. Elley had settled in next door and her little brother was outside a lot.
He was kind of annoying but he played with his Transformers and kept to himself so I couldn’t even be mad. Bryan said the kid seemed cool enough and I shrugged in agreement.
Sometimes I thought about kissing Bryan when we were together and in close proximity but I didn’t know what would come of it and I definitely didn’t want to ruin things between us.
I wonder if he ever thought about kissing me or if I was just trying to apply my romance stories to reality. I’m not the kind of girl who reads a book and falls in love with the guy but I do want to find someone who treats me the way Bryan does.
I look over at him as he talks; he’s talking about how he once wanted to be an astronaut. It was almost funny, thinking about my Bryan in space.
I smiled and he was still invested in the night sky. “My parents were convinced it was the career I was going to stick with.” He smiled and I wanted to be closer to him. “I changed my mind, though. I’m not sure I know what I want to be now but it’s not an astronaut.”
“I don’t know what I want to be.” I admit. Back in third grade we had talked about this before. We had been sitting under the big tree in the playground and it had been just the two of us.
“I know you want to help people and everything.” Bryan glances over at me and my heart flutters when his aqua blue eyes meet mine. “You’ll figure something out, you’re smart like that. And besides you can do anything.”
I feel myself blush, thankful it’s dark out so he can’t see it. “Thank you.” I wished one of us could be brave enough to confess our love but I knew it would probably never happen.
In kindergarten I liked him a lot too. I saw a future with him and I still did. I smiled, leaning my head over towards him.
A car pulled in my driveway; his mom came to pick him up. He got up, waving to me as he walked to the car before climbing in the front seat. I had sat up and waved, whispering into the night, “I love you, Bryan.”
Mom came into my room later that night, sitting on my bed and looking at me. I knew she wanted me to say something but I wasn’t sure what.
“Nickolle,” She finally sighs, looking out my window. “I know you love him.”
“I know.” I answer, hugging my stuffed cat. “I just don’t know how to tell him.”
“You have to be straightforward. Love’s not a game. Not to people who truly want it. Talk to him, try to feel out how he feels. How come you haven’t said anything?”
I shrug. “I don’t want to mess up what we have now.”
“Nickolle,” Mom puts a hand on mine, looking into my eyes. I had grey eyes- like my dad’s- but Mom’s light blue had made my eyes a more silver color. “If you love him, tell him. If he doesn’t feel the same way you can’t force him but wouldn’t you rather him know? Wouldn’t you rather try?”
“What if he doesn’t love me and he runs because he thinks I’m weird? It’s not supposed to be the girl falling in love first.”
“Nickolle, love stories that are written aren’t real. Love is a beautiful thing and it doesn’t matter who falls in love first, what matters is that they both fall in love at some point with each other.”
I smile, looking at a poster on my wall. Maybe she was right. Maybe it didn’t matter if I fell in love with Bryan first. He was understanding, maybe he wouldn’t care that I love him and eventually he’d love me too.
The last day of summer came quickly and Bryan had come over to go swimming. Rockelle and Nichelle absolutely adored him and he even played mermaids with them.
“I’m not a mermaid!” He was loudly declaring as they draped pearl necklaces around his neck. I had my book but I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. “I am a mer-man.” He explains and Rockelle and Nichelle giggle.
Rockelle was in fourth grade so she was playing more for Nichelle’s sake than her own but it was still nice to see them all getting along.
Nichelle was seven and she was still heavy into dolls and playing mermaids and whatnot. “Too bad,” She giggled, putting a tiara on Bryan’s head. “You’re now a mermaid princess.”
“Can’t I be a prince?” Bryan pleads, laughing before going underwater. He splashes them when he comes back up and Nichelle squeals in delight. Rockelle goes into the house and I know Mom yelled at her for dripping in the hallway and up the stairs.
She came back with more stuff, putting on a mustache and glasses before sliding back into the pool.
“I’m the evil sea witch. Let me put my hair up into spikes real quick.” She busied herself doing that and Bryan wrapped his arms around Nichelle, splashing underwater.
“Hey!” A southern accent called from across the gate and I turned to see Elley’s little brother waving. “Can I come over and play, too?”
I shrug. I’m technically in charge because Mom’s cleaning the house but still. “Sure, just be nice or I’ll beat you up.”
Bryan snorts. “Yeah, okay.”
“Okay,” I laugh as El comes trotting down the path. “I guess I won’t but he might.”
Bryan shakes his head.
“My name’s El.” The kid waves, jumping into the pool. Water splashes Nichelle.
“I’m Nickolle. That’s Nichelle and Rockelle. He’s Bryan.”
“Cool, I didn’t know there was another boy around here.”
“Oh I don’t live here. I just come over a lot.” Bryan explains, splashing Nichelle nonchalantly.
“Oh.” El looked disappointed for a moment before asking, “What are ya playin’?”
“Mermaids.” Bryan sighs. “You have to be a mermaid, there’s no room for men.”
Rockelle laughs, putting a tiara on El’s head.
“Oh wow, I don’t got any younger sisters. Just Elley. She’s annoyin’. You know she didn’t wanna move here, she said she wanted to stay in that old shitty school an’ house. Don’t tell my parents I cussed. Anyway, I don’t really like her; she holes up in her room all the time.”
Bryan and I share a glance. We just got a little idea of what Elley was like- granted it was from a younger sibling but I don’t know. I don’t think I wanted that in my social circle.
“Does she bully people?” Bryan asks and El shakes his head.
“She gets bullied though. Our cousins live across the street- Dad even told her- but she’s not sure which one of the kids are our cousins ’cause she’s dumb.”
Bryan starts laughing and I can’t help but smile. “You really don’t like her, huh?” Bryan asks and El shakes his head.
“Uh-uh. She thinks she’s special. She is; she’s special needs.”
My mouth drops open and Bryan and I look at each other. I cannot believe he just said that and was floating like it was nothing. Rockelle was laughing and Nichelle was oblivious.
“Okay let’s, uh, let’s play mermaids again.” Bryan suggests, swimming to the other end of the pool. Nichelle tried to follow him but he stopped her. “This is the deep end. I don’t want you drowning.”
“I can swim!” Nichelle protests and I roll my eyes.
Rockelle dives behind Bryan and laughs. “I’m the evil sea man witch guy, I’m coming for you!” She chases Nichelle back over to the shallow end and El sighs happily.
“I didn’t really wanna be over there alone no more.” He says but I’m not sure which one of us he was talking to.
“Well, it’s nice to have you over.” Bryan says, blowing up a unicorn floaty for Nichelle. I could’ve told him there was an air pump thing in the garage but it was funny watching him try to inflate the large unicorn.
Rockelle eventually went to get it and Bryan continued talking to El. “Are you excited for the new school year?”
“No. I ain’t got any friends.” El smiles. “Elley don’t, either. She had one at her old school. A prissy little bitch like the rest of ’em. Don’t tell my dad- he don’t like when I call girls bitch but some of them are.”
I’ll give credit where it’s due: El is funny. He says some out-of-pocket things and he’s strange but it’s humorous.
Bryan nods. “Yeah you’re not supposed to call girls mean things.”
El nods. “Could be worse, I ’spose.”
Bryan nods, gratefully taking the air pump from Rockelle as she slides back down into the pool. It messes up El’s floating bliss and he glances around.
“Hey, we should invite Elley over. Maybe she can have some fun before school starts again. She spent all summer in her room cryin’ and complainin’ to Leah- her friend.”
“Do you cuss in front of her?” I ask.
El looks offended. “God, no. She’d snitch ’cause she’s petty like that.”
I smile. I know what it’s like to have a sibling who tells but if they didn’t wouldn’t it mean they no longer cared? Although there were things that didn’t need to be reported.
“I guess you can invite her over but Bryan will beat her up if she’s a bitch.” I laugh and Bryan interrupts me.
“I don’t hit girls.”
“No problem.” El says, climbing out of the pool and heading back over to his house. “I’ll do it for you guys if she gets outta line. I’ll be back.”
He left the gate between our backyards open as he went into his house and we all burst out laughing.
Elley didn’t come over. El said it was because she was doing her girly things and being mopey. I didn’t know if he meant period or her being dramatic but either way I was okay with her staying over there.
We separated around dinner time and Bryan was picked up. We’d see each other at school tomorrow. I went to bed that night excited for school.
