IFY: Chapter 1
"Stars are like the people in your life. There are so many of them, and each one is individual. Some shine brighter than others, and they are your love in past and now, And when someone leaves your life, whether they have passed away or gone separate ways, you will see a shooting star leave your sky."- Anonymous.
Tyler P.O.V
I stared at Ryley in disbelief. He's what? He can't be.
"You're what?" I asked him, voicing my perplexed thoughts aloud. He... He can't be.
There's no way he could be... Be that. Our parents would never allow it- I'm fine with it, but I don't want Ryley to be kicked out. He makes life in this putrid house bearable. If our parents ever find out, then they'll kick him out. They can't... He's my twin brother. I love him, they can't make him leave. He's so perfect in every aspect of life, but now I found the flaw of Mr Perfect. Even with that flaw, he's still beyond perfect to me.
"-Ty, I'm, erm, I'm gay..." He mumbled, dropping his head and letting his soft brown hair fall into his eyes. His bright, stunning blue eyes. His full, pink lips were forming a frown and I could see tears starting to fall from his eyes. My hands landed on his shoulders gently as a gesture of comfort, making him look up and those teary but still shining blue eyes gazed into mine. I slowly slid my hands around him and pulled him close to me, enveloping him in my arms. He wrapped his around my waist and sobbed quietly into my chest.
I cooed at him and tried to calm him down, kissing him on the head a few times. And slowly, the sobbing turned into sniffles, the tears dried and I was just holding him;
letting him know I loved him for who he is.
"Ryley, it's okay," I hummed to him. "You'll always have me. I still love you and accept you for who you are," I said, and that made him break down into more crying. Why? Ah, whatever. I pulled my arms away and cupped his face, stroking the tears away softly, making sure to look deep into his eyes. I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before wrapping my arms back around him.
He pulled away this time and lifted his hand to my face, stroking it and moving a stray clump of raven hair from my eyes. The look of want he was giving me made a lump form in my throat, and I don't mean the bad kind. I mean the kind that was sort of a question; is he going to kiss me? I don't remember this happening on the day he came out. What the hell is going on in my head?
His head moved up a little; closer to mine- my heart rate started to speed up, beating on high-speed. No girl has ever made my heart race like this... So why Ryley of all people?
Why my twin brother? I unconsciously felt my head drifting down, my eyes locked on his soft and inviting looking lips, our mouths on their way to meeting. They were just about to touch when-
"TIME TO WAKE UP TYLER!" Sounded from the real world. I groaned a muffled 'NO' and rolled over, grabbing one of Rylee's pillows and spooning it. I inhaled his amazing scent and started to drift off back to sleep, my head spinning at the amazing Ryley scent.
Next thing I know, the man himself screams, "CANNONBALL!" At the top of his lungs, and he bombs down on my side. I yelped in pain and my eyes snapped open. I rolled over onto mv back and glowered up at Riley. He was sat on my stomach, smiling smugly
A year had passed since he came out to me- most of that up there is true, minus the us almost kissing and him stroking my face. I dream about that day quite frequently, and only a few months ago did the almost kiss start making an appearance. It haunted me to be honest. Our parents have raised us to read between the lines; so what is this supposed to mean? Do I have romantic feelings towards him?
I don't know, I really don't.
But then again, our parents raised us to think we were sins. And damn, I kinda don't believe in religion anymore, I guess I can't hate what I am and who I love more than life itself.
I felt my eyes getting heavy again, and instead of pushing Rye off, I pulled him down on top of me and rolled us both over so I was spooning him. He was used to me doing this; it's the only position we could both sleep in. He tried to move away, but I bit him on his neck and started sucking; I was holding him down so he couldn't move, and I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. I just wanted him to shut up and keep still so I could go back to sleep. Therefore, I didn't realise I was giving him a hickey.
Only when he moaned, did I realise what I was doing and how wrong it was. I also realised that the little moan that escaped his lips was turning me on. And on top of THAT, it also made me realise he liked what I was doing to him. So even though I knew what I was doing, and how freaking wrong it was, I couldn't bring myself to stop. I let my tongue dampen the sore, sweet tasting skin on his neck, massaging it with my tongue whilst my teeth remained fully attached to him. He arched his body into me, extending his neck to me and giving more access. I kissed along his neck; up to his jawline; and then on his cheek.
I turned him over so he was on his back, and when we were finally about to kiss, I jumped back and landed on my ass, hitting the floor with a thud. I stared at Ryley with wide eyes. My mouth was open a little from shock... and I was scared too. How morally wrong is what we just did? Hell, what would people do if they found out about that? They would call us sick. Treat us like dirt. That's what they would do- I couldn't put him through that.
I ran a shaky hand through my hair and said, "I-I-I'm up. I'm, erm, gonna go and get dressed."
I jumped up on to the balls of my feet, virtually sprinting out of the room. I slammed the door behind me and scurried off to my room, where I shut the door behind me and collapsed against it. I hugged my knees to my chest and started shaking. This is wrong.
What we did was wrong. So, why the fuck did it feel so right? And why did I want to do it again?
Ryley and I aren't identical twins. He's a lot more innocent and cute looking than I am.
With his tousled, soft and light brown hair; dreamy, kind and beautiful grey-blue eyes; pale coloured skin; bow shaped, full, pink lips and perfectly sculpted nose. He's pretty skinny, too. He's absolutely perfect, adorable and innocent. He's everything I'm not. He gets good grades, goes to some of the clubs at school and stuff.
Then there's me; the screw up. I have scene or 'emo' as some call it styled hair, which is jet-black in colour. Green eyes- they're nothing special in my opinion. Rye is always gushing about how much he wishes he had my eyes, and is convinced the wrong twin got them considering I don't think they're amazing. He usually starts pouting and I have to give him a hug to make him shut his whining up; it works every single time. But we do have the white as snow skin in common; we just don't tan. No matter how hard we try, we don't. Example; we went on holiday to spain once, Mum and Dad tanned; we burned, peeled and returned to paleness. My lips are red, and I guess they're the same shape as his. But I'm not as skinny, I have some muscles I suppose. Well I'm stronger than him, anyway.
I get okay grades I suppose. He's a straight (No pun intended) A student, whereas I'm on the B/C/D point of the scale. But the clubs just aren't my thing.
After sitting on the floor for who knows how long, I managed to stand up and trudge over to my walk-in-wardrobe. There was one section full of my skinny jeans, above it belts and buckles. The one along the back wall full of my band shirts, logo shirts, plain shirts and dressy shirts. Then above that was a rack full of my many hoodies and jackets. And last but not least, there was a whole wall made up of shelves and shelves full stacked with shoes. There were Converse; Doc. Martens; normal running trainers;
Vans; hi-tops. EVERYTHING I NEED. Oh, and some of those dress shoes my parents force me to have for like, weddings and stuff. So yeah, I have a lot of stuff. But we have rich parents who give us a huge allowance.
I walked over to the jeans and the belts first, running a finger across the skinny jeans. In the end I settled on a black pair with multicoloured hand-prints on the butt, a black and yellow studded belt, then a batman belt buckle. Next to the t-shirts. After a long, difficult decision, I settled on a black t-shirt with the batman logo, my black and yellow batman hoodie, and my batman converse. I put them all on except my hoodie- which was zip up conveniently.
What can I say? I freaking love batman.
I walked back into my room and walked over to the mirror, before plugging in my GHDs and waiting for them to turn on. And nobody's suspected I'm gay yet? Not to be stereotypical, but I pretty much eye rape guys all the time- a big giveaway on my part. I always cuddle Rye in public- in a couple way, don't mind kissing the guys for dares but do when it's a girl- and stuff like that. Oh, and I take longer than Rye to get ready as well. I combed my hair a few times and got the hairspray, pulling stupid faces at myself in the mirror as I waited.
The straighteners made a beeping noise, signalling they were now ready to use. I picked them up and started making my thick hair straight and fluffy. When it was done, I showered it with hairspray. I sprayed on some cologne, and after about ten minutes of finishing up; brushing my teeth, etc, I was done and ready to go. Before leaving my room I put a plain black beanie on my head, I grabbed my phone and IPod, before putting the ear-buds in and hitting play. I put my jacket on, zipped it up and walked out of my room
The first thing I saw was Rye. He was wearing blue Converse, purple jeans which were the same style as mine, an A7X band shirt and no jacket. I frowned at him; he's the one of us who gets cold. Oh well, I won't question it, he looks pissed off anyways- probably because of what I did this morning. But oh damn, he looked so hot it was unreal.
He started walking downstairs, and I trailed after him, making sure there was distance between us. I felt my face flame as I heard him moaning inside of my head and I noticed the bright, highly-visible hickey on his neck. I lifted my sleeve up to my face and stretched it out so it was covering one half of it, then flipped my fringe into my face so that hid the rest. I could feel the radiating heat of a blush crawling up my neck and on to my once pale, now cherry red face.
Oh god; this is not good. I mean, I realised I was gay a while ago... But I have feelings for my brother. My TWIN brother at that. Oh damn, I'm so screwed up. This is wrong in so many ways; I'm not even joking right now. It's morally wrong, a sin, against the law, and just downright wrong. But it still feels right. It feels like, I don't know, all these things against us are pushing us together. Well, pushing me to him. I have no clue what he feels about me right now. He's probably disgusted at what I did, but the point is; he didn't exactly try to stop me.
I followed him into the kitchen, and took a seat next to him on the stools by the island.
He was eating some cereal, but I wasn't hungry, so I just sat there and watched him. I decided to try and talk to him and break the tense and highly awkward silence.
"Rye?" I said shyly. No reply.
"Ryley?" I repeated, still getting no reply from him. I sighed and said, "I get how disgusted you must be with me right now. And I'm sorry. I know I took it too far, so I.
AM. SORRY."
He still didn't say anything, so I sighed and said, "I'll get Mum to wait for you."
That time, he nodded stiffly in a replv. I let out another loud sigh and walked away, out of the room, grabbing my back-pack on the way out of the house. I shut the door behind me and trudged towards the car, getting shotgun before Ryley. I told Mum to wait for him and she started talking to me, not allowing me to put both earbuds in and ignore her like I usually do.
"Why does your brother never bring any girls home? And why don't you?" She asked, arching an eyebrow. 'Because we don't swing that way', I replied mentally; adding a little smirk on the end. I actually said, "We're both waiting for the 'one' I suppose."
She nodded in reply, and Rye got in the car then, thankfully ending the conversation. I let out a sigh of relief and shoved the other headphone in, the song 'What it is to burn' by Finch playing. I drummed my fingers on my lap in time with the sons, and just as the song finished we arrived at school. One headphone got taken out, I thanked Mum and got out of the car. Inhaling deeply as the smell of morning air hit my nostrils. I'm joking, I could just smell Rye from where I was stood and he always smells amazing.
I spotted two of our closest friends, Noah and Blake at the other side of the car park, sitting on the concrete floor up against the back of the school building. Rye and I walked there together, in silence might I add, before they noticed us and started talking.
"Hey guys!" Noah said, smiling at us. He has bright blue hair that usually gets spiked up, but sometimes is left in the sme style as mine. He's pale, has purple(no really) eyes and is pretty hot. But he has a boyfriend, which leads me to the next friend; Blake. He's the bad-boy of the group; also hot. He has white-blonde hair in the same style as me, pale also(We're all like vampires, seriously) and he has huge, chocolate brown eyes.
Blake kissed Noah on the cheek and nuzzled his face into Noah's neck, making Noah blush. Awwe, what a cute couple they are.
"Hey Noah, hey Blake. Where are the girls?" I asked, smiling down at them.
"I don't know. Not here yet. What's up with moody arse over there?" Noah asked, gesturing to Rye. I shrugged, before reaching out and grabbing onto Rye, pulling him into my arms so his back was against my chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist and started kissing his neck. Fuck concequences, I'm enjoying this. Enjoying messing with Rye. Yeah, that's what I'm doing.
"Please don't be mad Rye," I whispered into his ear huskily, gently tugging his earlobe with my teeth. He took in a sharp intake of breath and relaxed into me, a sign he had forgiven me. He nodded and snuggled into me; he was shivering. I sighed and pulled off my jacket, literally having to put it on him and zip it up because he was protesting. He returned to my arms, therefore I stayed just as warm.
"Oh my god that is SO hot," The voices of Blake, Noah, Lexi, Jess and Louise sounded. I raised my head from Rye's shoulder, only to realise the whole group was staring at us and grinning. The girls could have arrived pretty much at any point between me trying to convince Rye to wear my jacket and stop bloody complaining about me being cold.
He was the only one I was paying any type of attention to at that point.
I smiled at them all and decided to put the show on for a little longer by turning Rye around and kissing him square on the lips. I heard the girls and guys squeal, before pulling away and smiling at them, and hugging Rye closer to me.
What the hell is wrong with me?
